Friday, March 18, 2005

Beneath the wormwood, oooh, love me so good. On iTunes: "Into The Night" Say Anything I can't get over that song, heh. I'm still at that point where I can't listen to it enough. I'm so excited for the concert now.. it's going to be awesome. No. It's going to rock. Ha ha. Ahem. I had my second appointment with the counselor lady yesterday. Her name is Corine, and she has a slight foreign accent but I'm not quite sure where it's from yet. It is not the usual spanish you hear in Florida, so I feel kind of special in that regard. Otherwise, I'm really, really into this whole counselling thing. It's shedding light on a lot of different aspects of me that I hadn't previously thought about or linked together, and it's really kind of amazing. I think it's an experience that everybody should at least try because there's nothing bad or unhealthy about it at all - totally the opposite. The key is just finding somebody who you are comfortable talking with. I've only had two meetings so far but already I feel like so many little details that didn't seem to be important before are now becoming the foundation for everything I do. Obviously it is the little things that turn out to be the biggest things, but even knowing that, the things we've been talking about and the things being revieled are still kind of incredible. Not surprising, exactly, but still enough to make you think, "Well, damn." And next time we meet we're going to talk about something that I know is going to be really, really hard. I'll be honest, I'm terrified to talk about it because I know it's going to break a lot of notions that I have down. I've held onto them for so long and I've allowed this thing to fester and grow without me ever actually realizing how much it hurts me. The significance of this is huge and I'm scared and anxious and excited all at once because despite all the pain and sadness this particular issue gives me I desperately want it resolved. That's the entire purpose of going to these in the first place. It's funny, but until I started going, I had no idea how much I really needed this. I mean, I know that I had certain issues, heh, but the sheer volume of what's buried under the surface... Shit. I can't even explain. I'm a fucking iceberg, baby. Maybe one day I'll be able to talk about this here, but right now you'll just have to forgive me for the cryptic sentences because I'm just not ready yet. Onwards, then, to something a little more lighthearted. Had some classes cancelled today, and I was out until 2 so I ended up skipping biology. Thus I only had one class - art history. I love that class so much. We'll be talking about Nike of Samothrace on Monday and I'm so freaking excited. It is my favorite sculpture, hands down. And to actually have seen it... every time I see a picture of it it's like I'm reliving the moment over and over again. It's completely awe-inspiring. Oh, I was out until 2 because I saw The Ring 2 at midnight. Because it was St. Patti's Day yesterday (go green!) there weren't a lot of people at the movies, heh. The movie was all right. It ties a lot of loose ends together, but it also creates a lot more. I feel like they were just trying too hard to put it all together and it made it kind of weak. There are definitely a few great moments that are scary as hell.. well, I was scared, lol. That girl is the freakiest damn thing ever created. Stay in your well, bitch! Other than that, I'm just glad it's Friday. I need sleep. And I need to play Catch Phrase with my friends. We played last Sunday and it was awesome. What an unbelievably fun game. Do yourself a favor, get some friends together and go play it. Good times.

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