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• Archangelxavier
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• 1989-12-24
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• Female
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• Gen.6
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• 2006-02-19
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• Life-long student (NON SCHOLA SED VITA DECIMOS)

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• I am not a great person and my name will soon be forgotton, but in a way I have suceded in the most glorious way anyone can. I have loved another with my whole soul- and to me that will always be enough.
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• 1998
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• DDR,listening to music.(of all kinds) reading great literature, (along with just about everything else) finding out what makes people tick- drawing, writing poetry and spending time with the things and people that I love. enjoying natural beauty of all ki


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myOtaku.com: ArchangelRayne


Saturday, October 6, 2007

   Existentialist nonescense
Time and time again the question arises: what is it all for? I sneeringly answer "why it is all quite an accident, didn't you know?" But now I consider that I am mistaken and revise my answer.

I have seen and have acted. I am learning to look beyond myself, and at the same time, to myself for answers. As a child my grandparents, my mother- adult were my gods. They gave me direction, praise,reprimand, opprobrium; I trusted them and they were my world. When all of that ended I was left in somewhat of a solemn state- unsure of even the breath in my lungs. Still they knew what (they claim) I could not- because of my age. They held money, authority, even respect over me- I was powerless to their will. "What is this all for?!" I would ask myself. I wanted escape, but did not know how; I was frustrated, held in a prison of their limitations, their passive aggressive approval of my pitiful attempts to fly and fail. They never taught me how. What could I do but flounder and fail? Exhausted at my own impotency to effect my own life I begged whatever powers could hear me for meaning.


I see now what I could not. I am making things happen, because I now know that I can. I've been given an amazing gift, one of love- and faith.
"What is it all for?!"
.....for the future.
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