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Wednesday, June 7, 2006
i finally cried...it's been so long...
Wierd to say, I cried when I watched a movie. What's really wierd was that the movie...was Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch.
I finally cried. I found something that made me cry...THANK YOU GOOD LORD!!!
Why I cried??? Ahem, I remembered my saddest happening from nursery.
When I was 3, my best friend told me that she had to stay away from me so that she won't hurt me. She said that when I'm with her, whenever we were playing, she's the reason I always get hurt. Now, why could that be? In the end, she left the Phillipines. Some say she first went to Canada, then America then Europe. I still can't understand what she meant by "I hurt you whenever I'm with you, I only make you cry." or "I am the reason of your tears." and the "I'm only a burden to you, Armmi." The day that she told me she was leaving was on the phone at the same day of her flight. She called me from a payphone in the airport of NAIA itself. I was crying and kept shouting out her name. Nikki, she left me. I didn't know why or how or what she was thinking of. I didn't even have the chance to tell her my goodbye or ask her why she thinks she's such a burden to me. She always made me smile. Always have. That stinking payphone!!! I tried my best to remember who she was and what she was like. And all that had happened and I hold on to the dream that I'm going to see her soon, that she's fine and be the boss of their family's company as she promised before.
The movie reminded me of this because there was a part where Stitch tried to fill up his goodness chart. Also when Lilo was about to dance, Stitch tried to avoid her because he can't help but be bad. He ran away from Lilo. Just like how Nikki ran away from me. I remebered clearly everything in a flash. Her red dress, I was in Green and our short black hair. Her parents were outside the door and mine was about to come. I asked her to come with me and our classmates Jerry and Sam (Nikki and I were the only girls) to a party because we all had awards that year. It was a celebration for all awardees and outstanding students from nursery to prep. When I asked her, she cried, apologized. And ran off.
I remebered when I slept last night that a few days after that incident, I chased her in the rain. After classes, we were waiting for our nurses or yaya or maids or personal maids...and personal body guards...(she has five bodyguards and 3 personal nurses). Her personal maid came with an umbrella saying that they parked outside the school because of the rain. At that time, I was again asking about if she wanted to come to the celebration with us. She didn't answer so I asked again. She was walking out the door and the maid was about to open her umbrella. I asked again and she looked at me. I still remember her face with her tears and apologizing to me again. I ran out into the rain, not caring. The guard tried to stop me but i told him I asked him very politely and told me that he doesn't hold responsibility of me. I grabbed her hand and told her that if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, I won't let that happen unless she hates me. I told her that that's the only reason i'll accept. If she doesn't like me anymore. Then she muttered "I hate you" then shouted, "I hate you!" then she said something in chinese. She ran off with the maid into her limousine. The other maids and bodyguards were in a van next to the limousine. But she looked back before she got in and she didn't seem angry at me at all, she was sad.
I never saw her again and the last time i heard from her was from that talk on the payphone...
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