Saturday, August 7, 2004

WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!! (at the request of Winged Youki)
(curtain opens on what looks like a blacksmith’s shop; Makoto is sleeping on a chair in the corner with a bottle in hand; Link enters wearing 18th century garb)
(girlie screams)
L: (looks at Makoto) Right where I left you. (walks over to anvil, sees a hammer out of place) Not where I left you. (looks around, sees a peculiar hat on the table and reaches out for it)
A: (stops Link’s hand with his sword, steps out of the shadows wearing full pirate garb)
L: (backing up) You’re the one they’re hunting. The pirate.
A: You seem familiar. Have I trained you before?
L: I make a point to avoid familiarity with pirates.
A: Ah! Well it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. If you’ll excuse me.
L: (grabs a nearby sword)
A: You think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?
L: You threatened Miss Swan.
A: Only a little.
(the two fight for a minute)
A: You know what you’re doing, I’ll give you that. Excellent form. But how’s your footwork? If I step here... (steps to the right)
L: (steps to the right)
A: Very good. And now I step again. (keeps stepping and fighting till his back is facing the door) Ta! (heads for the door)
L: (throws his sword at the door just above the bar, preventing it from being unlocked)
A: (tries to remove the sword, but to no avail) That is a wonderful trick. Except, once again, you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon.
L: (grabs a sword from the forge)
(the two begin fighting again; as they fight, Artukei notices that the room is filled with swords)
A: Who makes all these?
L: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
A: You need to find yourself a girl, mate!
(the two fight some more)
A: Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is because you’ve already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a eunuch, are you? (glances down)
L: I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill him!

(the fighting continues in such an elaborate way that without visual reference cannot be described without being excruciatingly long and boring for your part (the reader) and incredibly tedious on my part (the blogger), so it’s best that you just go out and rent Pirates of the Caribbean. Right, right, gotta finish this up. (ahem) The fight ultimatly ends with Artukei taking the ash from the forge and using it as some sort of smoke-screen, blinding Link; Artukei has his pistol pointed at Link)
L: You cheated.
A: Pirate.
L: (moves in front of the door)
A: Move away!
L: No!
A: Please move?
L: No! I cannot just step asside and let you escape.
A: (cocks pistol) This shot is not meant for you.
(Makoto gets up and breaks the bottle over Artukei’s head; Artukei falls to the floor)

(applause)
L: Thank you! Thank you!
(girlie screams)
M: Thank you so much!
L: Artukei, take a bow. You were great!.......Artukei?
M: Justin-san?
A: (still lying on the floor)
L: That was a “prop” bottle, right?
M: Oops.

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