Saturday, August 21, 2004

   Are ALL Psychics Cute?
Connichiwa, guten tag, bonjour, ciao, hola, aloha, and HELLO fellow Otakus!! Today’s guest comes all the way from Tokyo....in the year 2023. She is a member of AMP (Attacked Mystification Police); a unit specializing in interdimentional attacks. Ladies and gentlemen, please make welcome Miss Yuki Saiko!

(applause)
Y: Hi, everyone!
A: Welcome to my shoe, Yuki-chan.
Y: I’m sorry?
A: Um....welcome to the show.
Y: Thank you.
A: Now, the AMP is very special. Each member of the team has their own special abilities to combat the evil Lucifer Hawk. Katsumi’s a sorceress, Kiddy’s a cyborg, Nami’s a Shinto priestess, Lebia’s a visionaire, and Lum Cheng’s an elementalor. Tell us what special skills you bring to the AMP.
Y: Well, I have the ability of precognition; I’m able to see things before then happen.
A: That’s right. You’re psychic aren’t you?
Y: Yes.
A: (leans in) You’re able to see into the future?
Y: Yes, but I can also......oh, I think I see where this is going.
A: Maybe you can answer a question for me.
Y: Sure.
A: Will I ever meet Aisha Clan-clan?
Y: (closes her eyes)
A: ........
Y: (opens her eyes) Hmm...the details are a little fuzzy, but I do see you with her.
A: So is that a “yes, definitley?”
Y: It’s a “yes, probably.”
A: YAY! Hear that, Ozz? I AM going to meet Aisha!
O: ^_^ Wheeee!
A: You’ve met Ozz, right?
Y: Oh, yes! He escorted me to the studio. He’s so cute!
O: (flies up to Yuki)
Y: Oh! Hello there.
O: (nuzzle nuzzle)
Y: Heehee. (scratches Ozz’s ear)
O: Mmmm. ^_^
A: (That’s right. Eat it up, you lucky devil.) Yeah. You know, he’s a psychic too. He can’t see the future like you, though. But he has telekinesis, telepathy, he can teleport, see over distance, and.......you see those two “tails” of his?
O: (now laying in Yuki’s lap)
Y: (petting Ozz like a kitten) Um-hm.
A: Those are actually sensors that he can use to see into your mind.
Y: Really?
A: Yeah. I’ll show you. You don’t mind, do you?
Y: Not at all. I’m very intrigued.
A: Ozz?
O: (flies up, lays on Yuki’s head and puts his tails on both sides of her head)
A: Now, think of something. Anything, and then visualize it. Be as specific as you like.
Y: OK. (closes her eyes)
O: (closes his eyes, eyelids start to glow)
A: ........
O: (opens his eyes, flies towards Artukei)
Y: (opens her eyes)
O: ........
A: He sees....a teacup: pink trim around the edge with a rose in the bottom.
Y: 0_0 ! Y-yes. That’s amazing!
A: Yeah. Comes in handy when playing Pictionary. Hey, that reminds me. You own a coffee shop too, right Yuki-chan.
Y: That’s right. Actually, I made a fresh brew this morning and brought some with me.
A: Perfect! I was hoping you would...........bring your own..............your own HOMEMADE COFFEE.
Y: ???
A: ............That was your cue, Makoto-san!
M: (offstage) I’m not coming out!
A: Come on! It’ll be cute.
M: NO!
A: You don’t, and I suspend your Game Lab privileges.
M: Grrrrr! (comes out pushing a cart with a full tea set on it and wearing a French maid’s outfit, leaves cart in front of Yuki and Artukei) Will there be anything else,.......monsieur?
A: No thank you. That’ll be all, Miss Maid.
M: Grrrrr! (walks off, grumbles under her breath) I am soooo going to get you for this.
Y: What was that about?
A: I have no idea. (Just punishment for unplugging my game the other day. Not to mention taking my towel last week. Hehe.) Now, the mug on my desk is filled with coffee from Starbucks; the most successful coffee chain on the planet. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to compare the two and see which one is better. (grabs pot) If I may.
Y: No.
A: Huh? Oh, I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.
Y: No, it’s not that. It’s my coffee. I should be serving you.
A: But you’re the guest.
Y: I insist.
A: Uh...OK. (sets pot down)
Y: (pours into Artukei’s cup)
A: Arigato, Yuki-chan.
Y: (pours into her cup) What about Ozz?
A: Oh, he can’t drink anything with caffeine.
Y: Does it.....?
A: No. It’s just Zilders and caffeine are not a good mix. OK, here we go. (drinks from his mug) Mmmm. Not bad, buckey. (picks up teacup) And now yours.
Y: Kampai. ^_^ (drinks)
A: Kampai! (drinks)
Y: How is it?
A: WOW!
Y: Oh my! Is it too hot?
A: No, not at all. It’s just...I think I have a new favorite.
Y: (blushes) Oh, you’re so sweet.
A: (That’s what all the girls say. -_-\/) No, I mean it. This is exquisite! Hey Makoto-san! You gotta try this!
M: (offstage) I don’t do coffee! Uh...no offense, Yuki! It’s just that I’m a tea person.
Y: None taken!
A: Thank you very much for coming, Yuki-chan. (holds out hand)
Y: Well, thank you for inviting me, Artukei. (kisses his cheek)
A: Uh...um...hehe. ^_^ OH! Yuki Saiko, everybody!!



A: Did you have fun back there?
O: (nods) ^_^
A: (sigh) You’re despicable. You know that?

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