Thursday, December 15, 2005

Happy Birthday Kida!!

Metamorphosis Justin: (walking around upstairs) Aisha! Hey babe, where are you? (looks in the bathroom) 0.0 (sly smile) Oooh. (sees a sexy feminine silhouette in the shower) Heh heh. Think I’ll play a little joke on her. (quietly walks up to the shower, taps on the door) “tap tap tap” Justin: Need any help in there, baby? ???: AAH!! DADDY!! Justin: 0//0 KIDA?!?!? Kida: What are you doing?! Get out!! Justin: Sorry! Gomenasai! Hontoni gomenasai! (leaves, his face is beet red) Kida? THAT was KIDA?!? That curvaceous, gorgeous, voluptu... 0.0 AAAAAH!! NO NO NO!! WRONG!! SO WRONG!! Aah! Oh geez. Now I know how Bill Engvall feels. (looks to the side, sees Aisha) HmmWHAha! Aisha: You didn’t. Justin: .... (nods) Yeah. I did. Aisha: (rolls her eyes) *sigh* Justin: (smiles sheepishly) *weak laugh* Heh. They grow up so fast. (smile fades) Ridiculously fast. later... --downstairs-- Justin: (setting a table with snacks and decorations) Ozz, is she ready? We’re almost done down here. Ozz: All set. Shall I bring her down? Justin: Yeah, go ahead. Ozz says they’re coming down. Aisha: OK. Justin: Man. 15. I can’t believe it. It doesn’t seem that long ago that Kida only came up to my waist. Aisha: That’s because it wasn’t that long ago. That was back in April. Justin: Now she’s a mechanical genius, a skillfully trained warrior, and a musical prodigy. Did you know she’s already playing Mozart? And I just got finished teaching her key signatures. Aisha: She has natural talent. (winks at Justin) Justin: (blushes slightly) Ozz: (floats in with Kida behind him) Zz zz zooo! Ta-da! ^.^ Justin: There’s the birthday girl! (hugs Kida) Kida: Thank you daddy. Thank you mommy. Aisha: (hugs Kida) Anything for my little cub. Justin: (looks at his watch) Let’s see. Our friends should be here any minute now. “ding dong!” Justin: I am friggin’ psychic! later... “Bye Kida! Happy Birthday!” Kida: (waving good-bye) Matta ne! Domo arigato gozaimasu! (I got too lazy to write the actual party. So sue me. It’s not relevant anyway.) Aisha: Happy birthday, Kida. (hugs her) Kida: Thank you so much, mommy. ^_^ Aisha: You’re becoming a fine young lady, Kida. A lot of things are going to change as you get older. I remember I went through a lot of changes when I was your age. But since you’re only half C’tarl, I’m not really sure what to expect. But whatever happens, your father and I will be there to help you through. Kida: (embarrassed) Moooom. I already know about puberty. Aisha: Well,... this is a little different from that. Kida: Hey. (looks around) Where’s daddy and Ozzy? Aisha: Oh. They must be upstairs getting one more birthday present ready. Kida: Nya? (runs upstairs) Aisha: (follows her) Kida: (runs to her room) Gumdrop: (guarding the door) Halt! Nobody gets in to see the Wizard! Justin: (pokes his head out) It’s OK, Gummy. We’re ready. Come on in guys. Kida and Aisha: (step inside) Kida: (sees a large sheet covering something on her desk) ??? Justin: Ozz, if you’d be so kind. Ozz: (levitates the sheet off her desk) Kida: 0.0 *gasp* (sees a brand new computer on her desk) Justin: Happy birthday, sweet heart. Kida: Aaah! (runs over and starts reading the tower) 3.1 Ghz processor! 350 GB hard drive! 1185 MB DDR SDRAM! DVD burner! Justin: I don’t even understand what half that meant. Kida: Oh daddy, it’s perfect!! (latches on to Justin’s neck) Justin: You’re welcome, Ki-... uh *gag* Gah! Itai! Kida: (kisses his cheek) Arigato, otosan! I’m gonna boot it up right now! Justin: (rubs his neck) ..... Ozz? I think I just realized something. Ozz: Zzz? Justin: .... I think my daughter’s a nerd. Kida: *gasp* I came pre-installed with EverQuest!?! Sugoi!! Justin: 0.0 ..... Yep. She’s a nerd. --downstairs-- Aisha and Justin: (cleaning up the kitchen) Justin: Well, that’s the last of it. Aisha: Finally! *yawn* I’m going to bed. (smiles) You coming? Justin: Nah, I’ll stay down here a little while longer. Think I’ll help finish off some of that cake. Aisha: OK. Goodnight. *kiss* Mmmm. *kiss, kiss, kiss* Justin: (pushes her away) OK, OK. I love you too. Goodnight. later... Justin, Ozz, and Gumdrop: (sitting on the couch eating cake) Gumdrop: (gets up) Anybody want a drink? Justin: Sure. Why not? Gumdrop: (runs into the kitchen) Heads up! (tosses a can of soda) Justin: (catches it) Thanks man! Gumdrop: Hey Ozz! Hot stuff comin’ at’cha! (tosses another soda) Justin: 0.0 Hey. Whoa! (catches the can mid-air) Mountain Dew? Gummy, you know what’ll happen if Ozz drinks caffeine! Gumdrop: (walks back in with another plate of cake) Exactly. ^_^ Justin: (rolls his eyes) *groan* Hey, wait. You’ve already had four pieces of cake! Gumdrop: I know. (starts eating) Bud I godda keeb going or Ozz’ll win. Justin: What? (looks at Ozz) Ozz: (holding his tummy) Uhhhhh... Justin: Ozz, you OK? Ozz: Ooooh. Too... much... cake. Uhh. (falls down) Justin: Ozz! Gumdrop: Woo hoo! I win! Justin: Are you trying to kill my friend?! --Kida’s room-- Kida: (asleep in bed) Zzzzz... (starts tossing) mmm.... aah... uhh... (kicks her sheets off) mmm... *pant, pant* (wakes up) uhh. (starts sweating and pulling at her collar) *pant* Atsui. *pant* Too hot. (gets up) Need a... drink of... aah! (collapses) “WHUMP!” Justin: Hmm? (looks at the ceiling, gets up) What was that? (looks back) Ozz did you hear... Ozz: (still out) ...... Justin: Oh man. (looks on the other side) Gummy, did you... Gumdrop: (asleep with frosting on his face) Uhhh... Justin: Nice job, Capt. Spaz. Gumdrop: mmm.... sea monkey has my money... Justin: Gah! (walks into the foyer, starts walking up the stairs) Aisha? Kida? “... d... daddy!” Justin: Kida! (runs up the stairs and into Kida’s room) Kida-chan. Dai jobu desu ka? Kida: (on her knees, doubled over, shakes her head) Uh uh. Justin: (kneels down in front of her) What’s wrong? Kida: (in tears) I hurt! Justin: Where? Kida: Everywhere! Aah! (grabs Justin, hyperventilating) *pant, pant* Daddy. *pant, pant* I’m scared. Justin: Don’t worry. Maybe we should get you to Washu. Kida: *pant, pant, pant* It hurts! I... AAAAH! Justin: Kida! Are you OK? Kida: Itai! ITAI YO!! (a tail sprouts from behind her) Justin: *gasp* 0.0 Holy Miyamoto. Kida: (her hands turn into claws and her muscles start to bulge) *pant, pant* Otosan! Kowai! Aah! (her teeth turn into fangs) Justin: Aisha! AISHA!! Kida: Daddy! Aah.... aah.... aah...... aaarrrroooooooooooooo!! Kida slowly starts to transform. Brown fur grows out all over her body. Her hands and feet distort into paws. Soon she becomes so big that her clothes rip off. In a few seconds, she’s turned into a creature that resembles a cross between a wolf and a tiger. Justin: 0.0 Oh my god. Oh my poor baby girl. (reaches towards her) Kida: Grrrrrrr. (snaps at Justin) Justin: Aah! (stands up) Kida, it’s me! It’s daddy! Kida: RRRAAAR!! (lunges at Justin) Justin: Waaah!! (runs outside and closes the door) Holy crap! What in the name of Miyazaki’s going on?! *pant, pant*...... Wait a minute. Aisha said that she didn’t gain her beast abilities until she was about Kida’s age. Damn! Those powers don’t miss a beat! But why did Kida go full beast right away? Unless..... it is! Tonight’s a full moon! But if tonight’s a full moon, then... ???: Yoo hoo! Justin: (looks down the hall and sees...) Aisha: (wearing only panties and a t-shirt, sexily beckoning him with her finger) Justin: 0.0 ...... oh no. Not again. Not now. (Kida bangs against her door) “BANG!!” Justin: GIYAAHA! (backs away from the door) Aisha: (grabs the back of his collar...) Justin: WAAAAA!! Aisha: (and pulls him onto the floor) Justin: Oof! Aisha: (straddles Justin, starts kissing him all over his face) *kiss, kiss* Meow! Purr! *kiss, kiss, kiss* I’m gonna make you howl like the dirty dog you are. Justin: Aisha! Snap out of it! This is not the time! You....... Are you even wearing a bra under that? Aisha: *kiss* Nope. Justin: Woof! I... I mean, cut it out! “CRASH!!” Justin: Huh? (looks behind Aisha and sees Kida on top of her door) Kida: Grrrrrr! Justin: 0_0 Oh mommy. Aisha: Mmm. Oh daddy. Justin: Knock it off! (pushes her off and gets up) C’mon! (grabs her and runs down the hall) Kida: ARROOOOOO!! (chases them) Justin: (runs down the hall to the dojo, slides open the door) Get in. (ushers Aisha inside, then enters himself and closes the door, sits down next to Aisha) Aisha: (cuddles up to Justin) Mmm. (starts nibbling his ear) Justin: Aisha, do something! Aisha: Yes, my master. (grabs his crotch) Justin: Yow! (swats her hand away) You brainless nympho! Aisha: Oh yeah. Dirty talk. Justin: Aisha, I didn’t want to do this, but.... SNAP OUT OF IT! (slaps her) “SLAP!” Aisha: 0.0 .... (in a state of shock she feels her cheek where Justin slapped her, she looks at him for a second, then scowls, and then slaps him back) “SLAP!” Justin: (slapped so hard he hits the floor) Son of a... Aisha: (gets on top of him and holds down his wrists) I can play rough too, lover. “BOOM!... BOOM!... BOOM!... CRASH!!” Kida: (bursts through the door and into the dojo) Grrrrrr! Justin: Aisha! Aisha: Nya? Justin: Stop screwing around and help you daughter! Aisha: Huh? Justin: Kida! That’s Kida! Aisha: (looks behind her) Kida: Grrrrr. Aisha: (blinks as if coming out of a trance) ... ki... Kida? My little cub? Kida: (slowly approaches them) Grrrr. Aisha: ..... Alright! That’s my girl! Justin: Hey! Is this really the time to be impressed?! Aisha: Well, what do you want me to do? Justin: Help her. Tell her how to control it. Aisha: (looks back at Kida) ...... (looks at Justin) I can’t. Justin: What?! Aisha: It’s C’tarl tradition. The father is supposed to teach his cubs about their beast forms. Justin: Hang tradition! I’m no C’tarl! Aisha: But you are her father! Justin: ...... (looks at Kida, gets up and cautiously inches towards her) Kida. I know you’re in there. You’ve got to control this. o.0 This is all seeming very familiar. Aisha: Reach out your hand. Let her smell you. She has to recognize you as her father. Justin: (timidly reaches out his hand) Aisha: Slowly. Kida: Grrrrr! Raar! (snaps at him) Justin: (recoils) Yaa! It’s not working. Aisha: Of course it’s not. You’re scared. Justin: What? Aisha: You should never be scared of your own daughter. Justin: ...... (nods, extends his arm more confidently this time) Aisha: Easy. Slowly. Kida: *sniff, sniff* .... (licks his fingers) Aisha: Good. She recognizes you. Now talk to her. Justin: Kida. You have to control this. I know you can do it. (smiles) C’mon kiddo. You can do this. Kida: ...... (sits) *whimper* Justin: (pats her head) Shh. It’s OK. It’s OK. (hugs her) I know you’re scared, but it’s OK. Mommy and daddy are here. You can do it, baby girl. I know you can. Kida: *whimper* (slowly starts to transform back) Justin: That’s it. That’s it, Kida. Come all the way. You can do it. Kida: (halfway there) Justin: Good, Kida. You’re doin’ gre-..... 0_0 Uh oh. (quickly takes off his shirt and puts it on her) Aisha: You can do it, Kida. C’mon. Kida: (almost there) Uhh... aah... nnnn... *sigh* (collapses onto Justin, back to normal) Justin: (hugs Kida) Iko ne. Good girl. Kida: (exhausted) Otosan. I did it. Justin: Well.... almost. Kida: Huh? (looks behind her, she still has a tail) 0.0 Nya! (tries to shrink it) Hnnnn! Errrrrr! Grrrrrrrrr! *pant, pant, pant* How do I make it go away? Aisha: Sorry, Kida. For now, you’re stuck with that part. Kida: Nyani?! But... but... how can I...? Aisha: Don’t worry. In time you’ll learn how to hide it. Kida: (holds her tail) Hmmm. This is going to take some getting used to.

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