myOtaku.com: Asphyxiated Lapse

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-06-04
Gender
• Female
Location
• Hell. Aka, New Hampshire.
Member Since
• 2007-08-06
Occupation
• Killing myself.
Real Name
• Caitlin...™

Personal

Achievements
• I've made honor roll a lot and had plenty perfect attendance trophies for dance.
Anime Fan Since
• 1/26/08 Brittany's fault. =p She said to put it was cause of her.
Favorite Anime
• Elfen Lied and Green Green, Only two I've watched that was interested in in the slightest way possible.
Goals
• Live a happy life and get out of here. Or kill myself if I can't.
Hobbies
• Sleeping, playing with my dogs, talking online, and doing colorguard.
Talents
• I'm not sure, you tell me.

myOtaku.com: Asphyxiated Lapse

Thursday, August 9, 2007

I don't feel good, my stomach hurts.
I was stunned, absolutly stunned when James IMed me today.
He called me "cat grul" like he used to.
I don't know, it was his nickname for me.
When we used to be the best of friends.
Him and Brittany were all I had for friends.
I knew him about a year and a half by now.
After it became a year things started going downhill.
It was sad.
He didn't realize how much he'd made me feel like shit.
And he'd get mad at me for feeling like shit.
And eventually I'd gotten fed up with it.
I don't remember the last time I talked to him.
I do remember that last time I actually pressed hard though, the Monday night I got back from South Carolina on April vacation.
I still have the scars.
They're the most... defined shall we say.
There's a line but you can see where the actual cut was.

That was the last time I did it.
Basically at least.

Sooooo, anyways.
I feel bad for Brittany, Emily, and anyone else who lost Mattie.
You all seem so sad...
He seemed to have been real great of a person.
I'm sorry he died...
But you know, he's in a better place.
So people say it is.
Sorry, but I just personally don't exactly believe in it.
But he's free of pain and is getting complete and total bliss.
He is happy all you can hope for.
But it'd be better if he was still alive.
I sort of wish I had met him.

=/..
Anyways...

Nathaniel isn't sleeping in here tonight.
Yay!!
One of the puppies peed on the air mattress and he flipped out.
He's sleeping in the camper with my dad.
He was beign such a little shit today.
I almost took the knife on the counter and killed him.
I threatened to...
And I was being mean to him becuase he was being a dick.
It's to replace the one he doesn't have I guess.
Hahaha!

I don't know what else to put...

OOOOhhh, my sisters staying overnight at camp today I believe.
Yay!
And tomorrow Nathaniel leaves!!!!!
And tomorrow I have colorguard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, good night.
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