Monday, May 31, 2010

   just another ranting
I realize the only time I come on here to write it is because I am feeling alot of stress and there to me is no where else to put get rid of it, sure I got friends but they never help and somethings I just don't want to talk to my boyfriend about, I have parents who I know are willing to listen but its so hard to talk to them about this stuff. Mostly because I think my dad has alrady gone old and senile, he talks about things that no one cares about and he is always right no matter what it just really gets on my nervers but I do feel bad because I am the only person who I think actually listens to him and thats all he wants is someone to talk to and who am I to take that away from him. I don't have the right but I get so frustrated at him at the same time. Then I haven't seen my friends in couple of months not a single one. I have been sick but I am not going to lie thats not the only or the main reason why I have not hung out with them. My patience with them all is running thin my best friend has been doing nothing but letting herself go deeper into her own turmoil over her boyfriend who cheated on her I told her to break up with him and she just keeps ignoring me how can you help some one who doesn't want it you can't but that doesn't mean I am going to sit there and listen to rant and bitch about him either. The only time she gets in touch with me is when she wants something, she wants to ask my parents if she can move in because she is afraid her parents will kick her out and I though that was very inconsiderate of her after all she barely talks to me and never tells me anyhting anymore, like her birthday was a few days ago i asked if she wanted to hangout and she said I have to visit my grandma I said oh ok and the same night she posts she went to a party and got drunk. I am tired of the bullshit I guess. but altest not all my friends are that inconsiderate the others are still good friends but it is hard to seem them and I feel bad that I still make some excuses not to see them but that's my fault not theirs.
I guess I find myslef prety unmotivated to do things lately not sure why but I think it would help if I had some friends who would help motivate me a little. Although I don't do anything during summer to hot. But ugh just really agrrivated at some friends I should take it up with them I suppose and see if they can get what I am trying to tell them. maybe its time to just part ways with them and make new ones which I don't mind. kinda feeling a little sad my boyfriend is going to hawaii for two weeks to spend time with family I am glad he is going but still sad because that's two weeks without him :( normally I would spend time with friends but heh from the points above you can see that might not happen. on the plus side I get to do some shopping and my Birthday is coming up and that always makes me happy. getting alot of stuff from yesstyle love their clothes. but even clothes and shopping won't help with my sadness of frustration of my friends >.>
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