Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Not yet
I sit down sipping my drink as I pick up the razor blade. I put it to my wrist and go all the way down my arm I then do the same to the other. As I try to write my last words I see all my blood dripping every where. I then start to feel very weak and have to stop writing. I let my arms fall and let the blood drip to the floor. I then let myself fall to the floor curling up in a ball thinking, thinking about you and how I promised you I wouldn’t do this as well as many others. I couldn’t help it though and I’m sorry you will forget me everyone will. As I think more and more I convince myself it was the right thing to do no one will miss me or anything, but as I start to fade I realize I don’t want to go yet. I try to get enough strength to reach for the phone to call you the one I love. When I get the phone I fall down because I’m too weak, as I finish dialing your number and then everything goes blank.
Part 2
I here the phone ring I look at the caller id and see that it is you. I rush to the phone knowing something must be wrong, but when I answer the phone there is no answer. I start to shout your name hoping your ok. I hang up the phone and call back, but your line is busy. I get my coat and put it on as I run out to my car. As I drive as fast as I can I think about you our friendship how much it means to me and hoping you didn’t do anything stupid. When I get to your house I bang on the door, but there is no answer I start to get even more worried now. I bust down the door and search for you, but I can’t find you until I see that your bed room door is closed. I run to the door and open it and see you laying in a puddle of blood. I rush to you and pick you up as I start to cry. I start to hit the walls when I see something on your computer. As I read it I start to cry even more because it was addressed to me, but as I get to the end I see it isn’t finished. The last words say I loved you with my whole heart and. Then that was it I pick up her phone and sit beside you putting your head in my lap not caring how much blood I get on me. I then realize I will never be the same and that I love you and I didn’t want to lose you for anything.
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