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Man, I typed this already then my computer screwed up, (actually aol did) so I'm gonna type this and make it brief cause the feeling's dead now. Okies, the other day my dad came and visited after 9 years. I was shocked cause i hadn't seen him in 9 years. My mom was mad and started shouting at him for being here but my grandma stopped the fight and I also met someone named shawn, guess what? Shawn's my 14 year old brother who looks just like me. Get this: he's adopted by my father from my uncle's (his twin's) wife's sister! We're not even blood related! He says that I look like his sister and cousin exactly. (my dad has a twin who has a daughter that looks like his daughter that looks like me) So it's the three of us. I haven't even met them though so I can't tell if he's just overreacting or not. Also, after I got to know shawn a bit we became best friends (I don't usually make friends like that, I'm usually a nervous wreck when I first meet someone) and we talked and I realized that in most ways Shawn and I we're just a like. We both prefer the same things (like foods) and we both hate the same things (fodds) We even seemed to have a familiar personality! It was creepy. We even finished each other sentences (7 times) and said the same thing at the same time! (5 times) The only thing that I found out he wasn't into that I dore'd, is anime, but I quickly changed that. I showed him Naruto and he loved it! He thought it was funny and cool! My dad was very sweet to me. He gave me a necklace that says angel and he cried and I cried and my brother's didn't though. I think they lost feelings for my dad, although, my lil brother only knew him when he was very young so, I can't blame him, but my older brother was being kinda distant, I gues he felt betrayed, but I think my mom betrayed us cause she wouldn't let us see my dad and married a guy we hate, so basically, I have a reason to hate both of my parents immensly, but I can't bring myself to tell my mom I hate her, and I never hated my dad. I don't know why. Everyone is telling me I should hate him, and that he deserted us, but I just couldn't, I still can't. My mom's husband was mad cause I never showed any love (not even close) toward him. That's the same reason my mom was mad. Cause I always tell her I hate her husband, but love my dad, a man she never married. I didn't care that they were mad, I was mad at her wedding but she didn't care, so why should I care? Also, before they left (I was crying) Shawn hugged me and told me they'd be there for our (me and my brother's) birthday's. I hope they are cause I don't think I'll ever see them other wise. My mom told me that I wasn't gonna see them again, but screw her, if she can be 'happy' with a man who smokes and drinks and comes from an island that disrespect women, than that's her own life, and I don't care what she does with it anymore. I can be happy knowing my dad and my other family members, right? It's not fair that she tried to replace my dad with someone I hate, I don't care if I barely knew him, I was a naive stupid child when I was 4, it wasn't my fault I grew attached to him and missed him when he left (disapeared or whatever) At least give me happiness for a day...she still hates him, though. I can't do anything about that, but I don't want to grow up and be like her. When I grow up, I wanna be independent, and not be told what to do. I wanna do what I want, when I want. I wanna work hard and be respected. I don't want to be laughed at by my own relatives cause I'm a slave to an insensable jerk. Well, I'm done being self centered. So, I'm gonna visit people's site later on today, okies you guys? I'm still waiting for that spasm thing to come (when i go to sleep and can't wake up after a while my body is supposed to do something like that, I think that's what sana said...so I hope I don't die and I hope you all have a nice day ^-^
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