Friday, June 30, 2006

I'll try to post...





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Monday, February 20, 2006

   Ranting and Recent Events in no particular order
I feel that it has been oh-so long since I have posted anything on my blog, so here I am trying to make up for my lack of internet activity. We will blame it on my apartment being so close to the school that I always seem to choose food and cable over My Space. I'm starting to become a television whore, due to having cable hookups in my room. I have to stop this downward progression. If only I could some how pry myself away from Adult Swim...

Nashville Station on Saturday (I really can't remember because my days seem to run together) was interesting enough. Chris Hicks was there playing for a charitable cause and cover was free for everyone over 21. I joined Kevin and Big Al and was therefor ensured a good time, where ever I ended up. Dancing, drinking, and wooing ensued and finally we ended up at the Hummingbird, meeting with Dan and Monica and being invited to their house only to witness a very interesting sparring match, masks and all, on the front lawn at 3am that morning. I won't go into details...but I do have pictures. I might have to post one or two of them...

School is going well...though A&P is, as always, a pain in my side. As time goes on, I begin to wonder whether this is a good career choice for me. I dislike anatomical science for the most part. Well, not all of it. Just the parts that call for uneeded memorization of silly terms. Wait. Is that all of it? I tend to believe that the reason for having and periodicaly changing a billion different terms for every part of the body, microorganisms, ect. is due to those scientists/doctors/people who come up with that schmuck thinking they need to confuse people so they look smarter. Either that or they like to re-term to keep the public ignorant to the diseases they might have. Most likely it's to make things sound a lot worse than they really are. I don't really know for sure. I'm just ranting because of my frustrations with the class. Must be the weather. Wake me up when there's sunshine and it's 70 degrees.
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  I feel that it has been oh-so long since I have posted anything on my blog, so here I am trying to make up for my lack of internet activity. We will blame it on my apartment being so close to the school that I always seem to choose food and cable over My Space. I'm starting to become a television whore, due to having cable hookups in my room. I have to stop this downward progression. If only I could some how pry myself away from Adult Swim...

Nashville Station on Saturday (I really can't remember because my days seem to run together) was interesting enough. Chris Hicks was there playing for a charitable cause and cover was free for everyone over 21. I joined Kevin and Big Al and was therefor ensured a good time, where ever I ended up. Dancing, drinking, and wooing ensued and finally we ended up at the Hummingbird, meeting with Dan and Monica and being invited to their house only to witness a very interesting sparring match, masks and all, on the front lawn at 3am that morning. I won't go into details...but I do have pictures. I might have to post one or two of them...

School is going well...though A&P is, as always, a pain in my side. As time goes on, I begin to wonder whether this is a good career choice for me. I dislike anatomical science for the most part. Well, not all of it. Just the parts that call for uneeded memorization of silly terms. Wait. Is that all of it? I tend to believe that the reason for having and periodicaly changing a billion different terms for every part of the body, microorganisms, ect. is due to those scientists/doctors/people who come up with that schmuck thinking they need to confuse people so they look smarter. Either that or they like to re-term to keep the public ignorant to the diseases they might have. Most likely it's to make things sound a lot worse than they really are. I don't really know for sure. I'm just ranting because of my frustrations with the class. Must be the weather. Wake me up when there's sunshine and it's 70 degrees.
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Thursday, February 2, 2006

   Bleak
I am living in a mystery, an old detective movie. I am not the star, not even remotely important. An extra in the story of our love. At the first episode, I held some weight. My character held the keys to every answer. Now I have taken second place to the hustlers, bartenders, and philosophers. They hold the words, the drinks, and your every moment. I am left upstairs in a closet, to be pulled out when needed. The one come to when you need someone to take the fingerprints, when you want your shoes shineda pretty face in the bar with no value and nothing to say. My life revolves around you, the protagonistand you are beginning to feel like the antagonist. Breaking my words with silencedamaging my heart with the phonepoisoning me with assumption, when I am trying to keep from jumping to the immediate conclusion. Everyday seems to hold, to be continued when all I am wanting is for a new story to begin; a story where I hold a co-starring role next to you again.



Now I am working for you. I am there for you and hanging on your every word. My life revolves around those minutes that I am hoping to spend with you that never come. There you are, long enough to ask me a favor, then turn and leave me by myself while you give the best of you to everyone else, and all I see is the back of your sleeping form at the end of the night. I wake updo it all over again. School, work, hopefulness that is always aborted at the end of the night by the one word that steals the time. Accusations. Im the evil in your eyes. My want of just a little of your time turns my image into controlling, when all I wish is for a night together. Just one fantastic night to make my day betterto know that you care that Im there for you when you call and need something. But youre not going to understand when I try to tell you that I love you beyond reason. Youre not going to understand when I tell you that Im depressed to be left alone while youre out with everyone except for the one person who cares about you the most. Its scares me to think of the things you do to yourself. I hold so much back from you because Im afraid to hear you say those words, Youre acting like your mother. I want to feel loved, and right now I feel ignored. I feel second best. I feel backburnered. You have plenty of time for your friends. Do you have a little time for me? as Dido would have asked. What do I have to do to make myself worth coming home toby myself. I dont just want to be the person sleeping next to you when you get home after that long night. I want to be the person you look forward to seeing. I want to be worth it. I cant remember the last night you havent been drinking. I cant remember the last night I was more than a heated blanket to hold on to.

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