Friday, April 14, 2006

   Update on me, return of an old friend, an Good Friday! ^o^
Hey everybody. How are you today?

I was planning on going on a solo manga-run today (solo because Josh won’t be back ‘till late on Sunday, so no manga-run with him ‘till next week), but that didn’t work out. So, I’m gonna’ go tomorrow.
My aunt and uncle (on my mom’s side, if you’re wondering) are coming over tomorrow, so I have to be home before late that afternoon. After we all visit a while, my mom, dad, aunt & uncle are going to dinner and leaving me to baby-sit my siblings. *eye-roll* Better get the stun-gun ready….
I just spent the last hour or two out burning things in our chimneya (that’s like a clay mini-fireplace, in case you’re unfamiliar). Dear Lord, I love fire! ^_^

I got my braces tightened yesterday, and they’re hurtin’ pretty bad. >_<
I’m loaded on pain-killer at the moment, and they’re still kinda’ bugging me. But it’s not too bad….
This time the dentist skipped a whole wire-size for me because they’re already that straight (thus why they hurt a little more this time then last time). ^_^ I really need to be thankful for how minor my case of correction is compared to most people that have to get braces. I’m actually fairly lucky. I might just be out of these things by this Christmas; possibly even sooner if things keep going this well. ^.^

Oh, and I have some really good for you all today….
Guess who’s back on The Otaku……
………
………
It’s CTRNikkiM!!!!
That’s right, CTRnikkiM’s back!!!
*dance* It is so good to see her again! ^o^

As you all remember, Nicole-chan left back in February of 2005 on the grounds of The Otaku (along with several other things that needed to be nixed) causing her to spread herself too thin as she left for college. I don’t know the full details of her return, but it seems like we might just be getting our CTRNikkiM back. ^_^
Nicole was almost a pillar of the The Otaku community, and she was one of absolute best friends. We didn’t have the longest time to get to know each other in full like I’ve been able to with Miyoko-chan and EAMR, but Nicole was always a kind and caring soul, as well as a spectacular artist. Hopefully some or all of her amazing artwork will be returning to The Otaku along with her.

You can check out Nicole’s new Otaku profile here (she’s still in the Process of setting everything up, so it’s not totally complete yet).
I highly suggest becoming friends with her, because she’s one of the sweetest, kindest, smartest and most faithful people I’ve ever known. ^_^
Welcome back, Nicole.
We’ve all missed you, and we’re beyond happy you’re back.

In other news, today is Good Friday! ^o^
OK, I know I’ve already bored you all to death, but The Otaku’s Prayer Ring leader, I feel it’s my duty to at least talk a little about today’s importance.
If you’re like me, you’ve got some bad memories relating to Sunday School, so many of you probably have a bad feeling about this idea. But I can assure you I can do a better job than any of those hacks at communicating a message. I speak your language, after all.
So, will you give me a chance? ^_^
OK! Here we go!

*Welcome to Logan-sama’s Bible-corner*
-Ahem-, good afternoon children.
There are some gram-crackers and apple-juice on the table that you can help yourself to.
When you’re ready, we’ll begin. ~_^
I know you’ve got other things to do today, plus if you’re like me then you’re attention-deficit to some degree ( XD Just kiddin’ around with ya’!), so I’ll keep the lesson short and get to the point.
Here’s the meaning of Good Friday:
A little under 2000 years ago, the son of God was murdered.
Why does that make it “Good” Friday? We’ll get to that…
Keep in mind that throughout his entire life he had never sinned once (I’d like to anybody else pull that off), and was a completely innocent man by all means. He even cured the sick, healed the lame, gave sight to the blind and cast out demons that tormented people, all through the power of the Heavenly Father.
And yet not committing any crimes (or even sinning for that matter), he was put to death. He was beaten, whipped, assaulted, mocked, slandered, and ultimately nailed to two big, splintery pieces of wood through his wrists and ankles. (Sounds like fun, ne?)
Why? For our redemption.
When Jesus Christ died, so did your sins.
Mine, yours, everyone else’s’, everyone’s. If you’re reading this post, every sin you’ve ever committed and will commit has already been paid and forgiven. Pretty cool, huh?
But it gets even better. Christ died upon the cross, but he didn’t stay dead.
No, He’s not a zombie. It’s because He’s basically too tough for death.
After dying, he descended to Hell, kicked the shit out of Satan, took the keys to the Pearly Gates and opened em’ up for everyone; including you and me. Then, he rose again on the 3rd day (Easter!!!).
That’s right, bitch: He conquered the grave.
No offense to anyone, but I’d like to see any of the other various deities do that. :P

So, that’s what Good Friday & Easter are about: A man whose love for humanity was so strong he died on the cross for us, and His father whose love for us was so strong that he allowed it to happen.

So, I hope you all can take a little something away from today’s post (I hope I wasn’t being irreverent….I’m just a 16-year-old male who gets passionate about such a story. Sorry if I wasn’t as respectful as I needed to be ^^;)
I hope you enjoyed my little mini-lesson, and I hope you all have a great Easter!

See you later!
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

   Hey everybody.

Things have been going pretty much to the shits for several various reasons since my last post, mostly because of my parents (and their attitude toward me).
But for some odd reason my hormones are in the "good"-zone again at the moment, so I don't think I'm gonna' muck that up. Plus, I'm pretty sure most of have had more than your fill of me bitching and moaning by now anyway.

Anyway, despite my parents being all up in my grill, there is a bright-side to today.
First off, I'm currently listening to "Phantom of the Opera" by Iron Maiden. ^_^ I know that's not that big of a thing to be happy with, but damn is this ever a good song! I know alota' you don't like Hard Rock or Heavy Metal, but even so, it's a great song to check out if you have the time. Keep in mind though, it's off their first album, so it's Paul Di'Anno doing vocals (as opposed to the immortal Bruce Dickenson), so you can't understand a word he's saying (ultra-thick British accent). But Di'Anno still sounds cool, and even if he didn't the guitar would make up for it. b^_^

As for other good news, I'm off on (Good) Friday. Yep, 3-day Easter weekend!
Even better, I won't have any homework over the long weekend! ^o^ Isn't that great!?

On another note, I think I'm finally being accepted into Zack's inner-circle of friends.
Let me explain:
You remember Zig, correct?
Well, he has a group of friends he hangs out with that I'm getting to know. There's Laura & Will (a couple), Britton, Blake, Craig (from my Civics class), Kareem (the only Freshman in our group that used to have a bit of a thing going with Zack) and Greg (Emo-looking guy who's actually not Emo and has an ongoing joke about him being gay O_o" ), as well as a few people I'm just meeting at this point.
Anyway, Zack's group of friends are all the kind of people who don't have anything against hugging. Like me, they're mature enough to know a guy and girl can hug and not be a couple, and that 2 guys or 2 girls can hug without being a gay couple. This is great for me, because as lame as it sounds I love being able to hug people (go ahead and laugh. I don't care. >=O ).

So, I tell you that to tell you I think I'm starting to be accepted by the rest of Zach's posse.
I got my first friendly hug on Monday from Laura (keep in mind that Laura is currently Will's girlfriend, showing a lot of maturity on both their parts, knowing that hugs can be made out of friendship).
She even went as far as to say that I "give good hugs" and that she "should get hugs from me more often". =^^= Aww, that made me feel all warm & fuzzy.

Sappy, I know, but I just thought it was worth sharing that I'm being shown signs that I'm becoming a friend.
It's a good thing to, because most of Zach's friends are all warm & snuggly! ^///^

Anywho, I've got a fair amount of artwork that's either near finished or ready to submit, so be on the look-out for new art from me soon.

Oh! And thank-you to all the people here that viewed voted & especially commented on my newest piece! ^^ I really appreciate the thorough critiques, especially on a piece that I consider to be some of my best work.
It really saddens me that he came out looking cross-eyed, though. It was supposed to be an intense, dramatic pic of my main character at the boiling-point of an immense battle, and having him look cross-eyed totally ruins the mood.
EAMR went as far as to confuse him with one of my zombies. I even explained who/what the picture was of in the description, and she still couldn't tell. *sigh* Things like that go to show just how much I need to improve on my artwork, don't they?

I'm gonna' fix that eye in Photoshop, if it's the last thing I do. *triumphantly raises fist into the air*

Please pray for Elvzy-chan if you could, everybody.
Her wrist is hurting again (the one she already had surgery on), and that really worries me for reasons that should be obvious.
Please keep her in your prayers, alrightie?

"Zombiepoke" by darkmoon3636:



A wonderful example of a talented emoticon-artist's work.
Plus, I've never been one to turn down any artwork pertaining to zombies. :D

I'll see you guys tomorrow!
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Saturday, April 8, 2006

   Hey everybody. How's it going?

I know I make ask you fairly often to "read yesterday's post if you haven’t already", but if you haven't read yesterday's post yet I really need you to.
You'll see why once you read it.

Anyway, one of the major themes I was trying to get across yesterday is things haven't changed. For the most part, things are back to normal. =)
Don't get me wrong, a lot things still need to be resolved (most of which are in my house, not here) and are still being dealt with, but I'm over being bitchy and obnoxious about it. b~_^

So, let's get down to business!

I went on a solo manga-run today. Yup, solo. -_-
Today is the first day of Josh's (and my brother's) Spring Break, meaning he's now on vacation and couldn't do a manga-run.
In case you're wondering where Josh is going on Spring Break, he's on a Disney Cruise. His aunt is a major manager of Disney's Cruise-lines, so he and his family (and sometimes Josh's friends) get free-bie cruises from her. Heh, I'm betting some of you are pretty jealous of Josh right now. ~_^ (Josh has even hinted that someday soon he might just hook me up and take me with him on a cruise! ^o^ How cool is that!?)
Anyway, Josh'll be gone from today until next Sunday, meaning no manga-run with him this or next weekend.
*grumble*, I'm starting to miss Josh. I haven't seen him in so long....

Oh! And speaking of Josh, his birthday's coming up soon.
Technically, it was yesterday.... But, since he wasn't here for it, as explained above, he'll be celebrating it when he gets back.
I tell you this because I'm currently working on a picture for him for his birthday. ^^ Heh heh, I think you'll like it once it's done...
I started it last night, and I (hopefully) finished today what I think will be the complete line-art.
Heh heh, Josh and the rest of you are in for a fairly big surprise. =^^=

Speaking of artwork, I've got about 3 or 4 more pictures ready to be submitted, but haven't since I've got a piece in my gallery that's fairly new.
I did mention it on last Sunday's post, but since I think a lot of people missed it (and don't exactly want to read though that post again), I'll just paste what I said about the piece here:
"I honestly think this piece may be some of the best work I've ever done. Thus, I would really, really appreciate your comments on it.
I'd really enjoy some in-depth, specific commentary on this piece, since I worked so hard on it and it came out so well. So, please be specific and artistically-minded when you review this piece.
In exchange, please feel free in taking your time on actually getting to comment on this piece. I'd rather wait a week for a good, in-depth comment then get a bunch of hollow praise today. So, feel free to put it off for a bit if you don't have time for a heavy artistic review at the moment."

In summation, please do a deep, artistically-minded comment on this piece (if there ever were a piece I needed a serious critique on, it's this one), but please feel free to put it off if you don't have the time at the moment.
I don't care if your comment's a week late or more, as long as it's a quality critique.

On that same note, Erin-chan has submitted, if I recall, 2 new pictures for me to review.
In addition, EAMR has submitted a picture of her 2 original characters that are generating quite a buzz on The Otaku.
As you know I give Elvzy's work some pretty in-depth comments, so I'm taking my time to make sure I do her work justice (and I'd appreciate the same from you all! ~_^ ). The same goes for Erin-chan.
Again, I know I'm late commenting, but I'd think you're like me in opting for quality over an instantaneous response. b^_^

Anywho, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things as far as showcasing impressive artwork on my site each day. So, today I give you an impressive piece of emoticon-art. Here's "Control", by Conuyaku:

Isn't that amazingly clever and innovative!?
So simple, but so charming and effective!

Expect to see more from Conuyaku. He's an insanely talented emoticon-artist and photographer (I'm not kidding, he does both), so you'll be seeing more of his work soon.

I'll leave you today with a quote off EAMR's site. It's a conversation (if you can even call it that) between Elvzy-chan and her roommate.
According to Elvzy, her roommate is extremely ditzy, as well as never speaks in complete sentences and just sort of "trails-off".
Here's the play-by-play of a conversation they had last Tuesday....

Lindsey: “I’m going to take the garbage out.”
Steph: “But garbage doesn’t go out till Tuesday.”
Lindsey: “Today is Tuesday.”
Steph: *looks into the distance* “Yeah, but the garbage doesn’t go out ‘till Tuesday.”
Lindsey: “Steph…today IS TUESDAY!”
Steph: *looks blankly towards the window* “Wait, what day is today?”

XD I don't know about you guys, but I found that absolutely hilarious!
I think Lindsey-chan's finally found someone slightly dumber than my brother. X) Sorry, Steph.
According to Lindsey, "her cheese has slipped off her cracker". XD

I'll see you guys tomorrow!
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Friday, April 7, 2006

   Long post, but please accept my apology....
Hey everybody.

Well, if you know me well enough, then you know what’s coming next:
Saddened, self-loathing apologies.

Honestly, I really owe you guys an apology.
I said a lot of things that were understandably taken as something offensive, but honestly weren’t meant to be taken as such.
What I said was said out of anger, desperation and stress, and we all know what anger, desperation and stress do to you, don’t we?: Cloud your judgment.
I took my feelings and expressed them in a way that sounded derogatory and mean, and for that I’m very, very sorry.

Please don’t feel that when I say “I didn’t mean for what I said to be taken the way it was” that I’m trying to make excuses and share the blame. All I’m trying to say is that I went on a rant but was not careful as to how I said things.
Usually I’m a lot more careful about how I express how I feel in either talking or writing because so many things can easily be taken the wrong way. But, I was extremely angry and stressed when I wrote it, so I didn’t take the same care as to how I phrased things, and thus they sounded less like rants and more like accusations.

Again, I’m not trying to shift blame or claim innocence by saying it was misinterpreted.
It was my fault it sounded accusatory and mean. Nobody else’s.
I tell you this because I want you to know that what you gleaned from those posts were not my actual feelings and opinions. What you thought I meant is not what I meant.

Please know:

When I said “I’ll see you all in Hell”, it was out of just general anger.
It wasn’t anger directed toward you guys, it was me being an ass in the way I expressed my anger.
In retrospect, it was inappropriate, and I apologize.
It wasn’t something directed at my friends on The Otaku, but it sure sounded like it was. So please know, I’m sorry.

When I said “don't give me shit about being hormone-drivinly cynical”, I wasn’t referring to the multitude of times you people have helped me in the past.
It was meant to be taken as a warning as to not just think “Oh, it’s just those teenage-hormones acting up”.
Again, it was not directed at anybody, nor was it a reference to any previous incident. It was just a failed attempt at saying “it’s not my hormones, thank you”.

I was not trying to insinuate with my rant that I’m the only one experiencing problems, nor that I’m the one experiencing the worst problems.
I know many of you have shit to deal with that’s WAY tougher then anything I’ll ever encounter. Many of you have past (or current) experiences that are far more traumatizing then a mean-spirited little brother and ignorant, hypocritical parents.
And yet most of you that do have it tougher then I do somehow act chipper and resilient despite having to deal with such things.
People like that (and you know who you are ~_^ ) are just a joy to be around, and they remind me my skin needs to be a little tougher to be happy in this world.

I was not trying to talk-down to anyone here as if my problems were something more difficult then yours.
What I meant to express was that many of you don’t quite fully know what exactly goes on in my household to be able to give advice on what should be done (by no fault of your own, of course. It’s just due to the fact that you’d have to live here to know all the details of the circumstances).
I was trying to explain that my post wasn’t taken as it was meant to be taken, but as with everything else my own frustration prevented me from expressing it correctly, thus it sounded like I was treating you like ignorant subordinates, which was not my intention.



So, I come to you to ask for your forgiveness.
Please forgive me for acting/sounding like such a total dick to the people that are here to help and support me.
Needless to say, from now on I’ll be more careful as to how I say things when I’m angry, lest they come off as accusations, harassment or put-downs.

I’m sorry I sounded like I was being accusatory, self-absorbed, stubborn, over-reactive, self-pitying, angry, ignorant or just generally stupid.
Many different factors contributed from many different sources (school, parents, hormones, etc.) and it culminated in a big misunderstanding due to my own rash way expressing my feelings.
Will you guys please forgive me for that?

The bottom line: What you read wasn’t what I meant. It sounded the way it did because I wasn’t careful as to how I said things, and it was taken as me being a general dick. I’m honestly sorry for hurting anybody’s feelings, insulting anybody’s positions or stances, offending anybody who tried to help, and sending disrespect to those whom I respect.
I didn’t mean it to be taken the way it was taken, and I ask you for your forgiveness. I’ll do my very best to not let outside issues cause misunderstandings in our friendships from now on.
Erin, Lindsey, Rosa, and everyone else involved; I’m sorry.

I don’t blame you if you don’t accept my apology, but please think about it, OK?
I greatly, greatly appreciate those who read through all that, and even more so those who can and will find it in their hearts to forgive me and let this mess be cleared-up between us.

Thank you, and I love you all. =)

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Thursday, April 6, 2006

Dear sweet Lord….
I don’t know what I said the wrong way in my previous post, but it looks like everybody misinterpreted what I said; or at least what I meant.
Everybody (with the exception of thelostsindar) seemed to take what I said the wrong way, and thus got more then a little miffed at me.
I was honestly hoping for some support and/or advice, but I guess angry criticism is OK too. This is of course not to say you didn’t have the right to do so, because you absolutely have every right to, especially if you thought I had said something wrong. It’s just that I didn’t need a kick in the ribs at that point in time.

First off, Josh (DrunkenMaster) has been absent from The Otaku for nearly six months, and the first time he’s on since then is the one day I post something he doesn’t need to read.
*sigh*, I didn’t mean what it sounded like, OK? I just mean we both have some issues to think about before we can become stronger as both friends and as individuals.

Please keep in mind that that whole situation happened right after I had to sit here and watch an artist I respected and admired completely abase herself. I was recovering from having to sit through her doing that (I might still be recovering), so I wasn’t exactly in high spirits when I thought something similar might happen with someone even closer to me.
It was absolutely nauseating just sitting there as she blew everything I respected about her to pieces. I almost needed to cry after reading her do that. She was someone I idolized, and then she ripped-off her vale and revealed she was in full-league with the people I utterly loathe. (And before you start demanding to know who it is, I can tell you right now that’s not gonna’ happen for obvious reasons. And good luck guessing who she is, in case that was your plan. You don’t know if she’s here or on any of the many other art-sites out there. Hell, she could actually be a “he” for all you know, so don’t bother trying.)

As for the other comments yesterday, it seems you all assigned a lot of accusations to what I typed.
First off, I’m not even going to try defending myself from those of you who thought I was making religious accusations. I’m not going through the awkward and embarrassing explanations of why what I said wasn’t meant to put you guys down for whatever you choose to believe in, because it was the most arbitrary and nonsensical accusation of them all.
You took 2 or more completely separate parts of that post and combined them to make some kind of religious put-down that was apparently aimed at you, so that point isn’t even worth arguing.
Do you people just skim my posts and assemble what you didn’t read in yourself?

Secondly, many of you assumed that I was saying “there aren’t any good people in the world”. I didn’t say or mean anything of the sort.
Yes, I’m fully aware there are plenty of good people in the world. However, that’s not preventing the world from going to Hell in a hand-basket, now is it? Nope, the good-guys are far, FAR outnumbered, and what they do does little to slow our planet’s downward spiral.

Thirdly, those of you who did try to give “advice” just ended up proving how little you know about my situation.
I’m not going to insult you by giving specifics, but since I don’t have time to explain why your ideas don’t work in this post, I’ll save it for another time just in case you’re curious (I know you don’t have that much interest in my various personal matters, and I don’t blame you, but humor me a little).

Fourthly, it was concluded I was wrong in believing it’s unfair that I get shafted in my own family for doing what I’m told. I’d really like to have this point of you explained to me.
Am I wrong in being angry when parents tell me to do what’s right, and when I do so it gets me in an even worse position due to their own short-sightedness?
Is it not right for me to be angry that my parents’ stances are founded on total hypocrisy and apathy of their own son’s feelings?
What can I do to get it through to you: My parents are hypocritical cauldrons of stress that treat me like a 7-year-old and can’t be reasoned with.
Am I so bad in wanting to change that?
I want my parents to give me the respect and trust I’ve earned and know that I deserve. Does wanting that mean that “I want the world to change to make it easier for me”?
I’m tired of working my ass off and nobody caring. Is that so unacceptable?

*sigh*, I know I’m getting on a lot of your nerves, and rightfully so. But I’m dealing with about 12 different layers of shitty problems right now; most of which you don’t even know are present; and they’re all eating away at my insides.
I don’t know who (if anybody) I can trust with my problems. They’re too entangled in the community for most people on The Otaku, Josh might not be comfortable talking about them, and my parents are obviously out of the question.

My sincerest gratitude goes to you if you read through all that (without fucking skimming). I’ll see you all again as soon as I can get a grip on what I’m dealing with.
‘Till then, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, April 2, 2006

   Hey everybody.

Well, it's good to see that after a lengthy Spring Break of nobody being on The Otaku, it's good to see people are finally coming back.
Of course, I go back to school tomorrow, and according to my teachers, it's going to be Hell.

I submitted a new piece of artwork on Thursday.
I honestly think it may be some of the best work I've ever done. Thus, I would really, really appreciate your comments on it.
I'd really enjoy some in-depth, specific commentary on this piece, since I worked so hard on it and it came out so well. So, please be specific and artistically-minded when you review this piece.
In exchange, please feel free in taking your time on actually getting to comment on this piece. I'd rather wait a week for a good, in-depth comment then get a bunch of hollow praise today. So, feel free to put it off for a bit if you don't have time for a heavy artistic review at the moment.

In other news, things are totally going to crap for me.

I stayed up 'till 4 last night, talking to Josh (since I haven't seen the guy in over a month).
That in itself wasn't a bad thing (it was pretty fun, actually), but in the process, I found out something about Josh that I really, really didn't like.
Josh was one of the few people, probably the only person, that I thought was completely and totally respectable. So, finding this out has more the shaken my foundation a little.
I honestly thought he was above stuff like that, but just like most everybody I've met on The Otaku, I judged him wrong.

My parents....well, my mom, has taken this crappy Safe-Eyes blocking-program a step further.
My mom bought the full-version, so now rather then cutting-off the internet at a certain time of night, it now times how long I've been on and cuts-off after 2 to 4 hours of usage.

Let's get something straight: I don't use the computer for IM, messaging, chatting, porno, piracy, gaming, or anything remotely mindless in nature.
I use it for artwork, and I use it for my Prayer Group.

Tell me then: What other use for the computer would warrant me not having to be timed as I surfed?
Am I not using the computer in the most positive way possible?
What could be a better use that would warrant me not having to worry about weather I accidentally left an internet page up or not?

Even worse, my mom's kinda' acting like a disgruntled Prison Warden about it.
Get this:
Safe-Eyes, being a retarded Blocking-Program, will randomly block pages that are OK.
My mom said that "if it's blocking something you need, send an e-mail about it to me and I'll fix it at work" (Safe-Eyes has remote-access control, so my mom can change its settings at work).
I sent her a good, long list of websites it was blocking (all of which were obviously completely OK) more then 2 weeks ago.
She does nothing for 2 weeks, and I finally get the balls to ask her about it this passing Tuesday.

And guess what....
She refuses to un-block the sites. Keep in mind though, that she didn't even read the sites I needed un-blocked.
Why?
She says that I "have enough freedom".

Can you believe that?
Please keep in mind that she didn't even look at the sites I wanted un-blocked; she just decided I didn't need any more freedom.

That is the most arbitrary, restrictive abuse of power she's ever committed.
It's just ridiculous. It shows just how little she cares about me.

So, every time that little bubble pops-up and says I have such-and-such time left on the internet, it's a wonderful reminder of how little my parents respect me.
That's something you do for an 11-year-old, not a soon to be 17-year-old.

Shows how much my perfect grades, moral behavior and sacrifice for the family amounts to.
I hate to toot my own horn, but compared to the delinquents I go to school with that regularly torture their over-forgiving parents; I'm the perfect son. I honestly do what helps the family, rather then myself.
But I guess my parents don't care about that; nor about good grades or general good behavior.
What's the point of going to the effort to be a good person if nobody cares?

I'd have an advantage if I was as ruthless as my brother; having no qualms about lying to my parents' faces. I'd be more trusted (as hard as that it to believe), and I'd have my parents dancing in my palms.
But being somebody who actually does what Jesus says, I'm at a disadvantage in my household. Seems a tad counterproductive considering my parents are trying to bring me up as a Christian, eh?
If my faith weren’t already so strong, I would have ditched Christ years ago.
It's funny how all the absolute meanest, pissiest people I've ever know all claim to be Christians, isn't it?

God is my only real friend in this world.
My family as well as most everybody I've ever known (especially those here on The Otaku) have taught me that hard lesson over and over again.
As great a friend as God is, you can't put your arms around Him when you're feeling down, nor can you get a direct answer from him when you need advice; 2 things we humans sort of need from friendship.

Isn't life just grand?
You can work your ass off and have it amount to nothing.
The people in power, weather they be your parents, your school-board or your local self-serving politicians, make decisions on a whim that will forever alter your life and what you'll achieve.
You can be an honest student, but the ones that cheat and get an A+ are the ones that go into the good colleges, not the ones who got the honest B's and C's.

I'm just so happy to live in a world where money is all that matters.
I just love getting shafted in life so that my local politicians can have $12,000 curtains in their office.
Let's all bow down & worship our king, icon and most coveted asset: The Almighty Dollar.

What you've read here is hardly half of the shocking and painful realizations I've come to about how the world works.
And don't give me shit about being hormone-drivingly cynical. True, I'm a depressed little bastard, but that doesn't mean the world isn’t F'ed-up in how it works. Everything I said is true, and denying it for the sake of having no worries doesn't make it any less real.

I hope you all have a nice evening.
I'll see you all in Hell.
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

   Hey everybody. How are you all today?

I was up 'till 4 AM last night.
@_@ Yes, you read right; 4 AM.

"Why?", you must be asking?
Well, you see, I was drawing.
For most of the night, I was struggling to get something productive down on paper.
But at about midnight, an idea I had thought-up recently came to me. I started work on it, and as it progressed, I liked it better and better.

Taking into account the things you all have critiqued me on in my most recent work, my goal was improvement.
Accordingly, I took some risks as I went along, using techniques that were new to me and that I was unsure about as far as weather they would work or not.
I tried something new in several different areas, and guess what:
It turned out great. =D

I guess that's a lesson about art I need to learn:
"You won't grow & improve unless you try out techniques that run the risk of failing".

I'm not going to tell you what the picture's of yet, but just know it's gonna' be an awesome pic pertaining to "Ghost Hunter" (as well as a little of me being an ego-maniac =3 ).
Though, please keep in mind that I've only started this pic. Due to the amount of detail required for its composition, I only have about 30%, maybe 40% of the line-art done.
But, it's coming along swimmingly so far, so I'll have it done pretty soon.

It probably didn't hurt the quality of this pic that I recently took to sorting my picture folder to get my reference pieces organized.
You see, up until now, whenever I was browsing artwork and I see a piece that would make a good reference to help me draw (i.e., pictures of hands in complex but common positions, people in poses or clothing I need help drawing, etc.), I'd just save it to my computer and come back to it later.
The problem was that I've saved a butt-load of reference art, so when I needed a piece showing a specific pose, object or facial-expression, I'd have no idea where it was. @_@
Naturally, that had to stop.

So, over Spring Break so far I've been slowly organizing my reference work.
Now when I need a picture of a certain pose or wardrobe, I'll actually know where it is! :D
Isn't that great?

I have 2 main folders going right now: Male and Female reference.
Female is obviously for when I'm drawing Megan and Andrea, meaning it's mostly full of women in military garb, action poses and combat positions, as well as girls with good facial-expressions, proportions, and really pretty, fluttery hair. (*is a total sucker for girls with pretty hair*)
And as logic would assume, Male reference is for Josh and Logan, meaning it's mostly full of cocky dudes holding high-caliber weapons (that's Josh, by the way), as well as guys in either priesthood garb or suit & tie (that's for Logan).
I also have an extra folder for "Ghost Reference", meaning it's where I keep all my pictures of the spooks, ghouls & creepy-crawlies that can help me next time I'm drawing a ghost. >=D

Now that I've bored you to death, let me return to the topic of yesterday's post: My trial-version of Photoshop.
As I said, I've been screwing with Photoshop since Friday.
Would you like to see what my experimenting has produced? =3
Check it out:


I'm sure you all remember this pic I did for Akane the Fox a little over a year ago, right?
If you do, you'd know the original was black & white.
And yet, this one here is in color.
=O How?
Photoshop!!!

Check out my first try using Photoshop to enhance a pic, rather then color a B&W one:


How much spiffier does this one look then the original!?
Keep in mind I'm not yet done enhancing this little cockpit junkie, but look how much better the color of his hair and eyes are!
"Live to fly, fly to live", buddy! ^o^

This one here is my favorite....
I'm sure you all remember Gulliver Gosslaves; the chap who had the crap beaten out of him by our lovely sadistic serial-killer:


*GASP!* A ghost NOT in B&W?
That's right! How do you like his color-scheme?
I know some of you may think the blue over-tones I used for his body are a little weird, but that's how I imagined him looking in my head!
(I also know I used the "Soften" tool a bit too much here, but hey, I'm still practicing.)

What I want to do now is make it look like his eyes are glowing.
I've already tried selecting his eye-area and trying to add the "Neon Glow" effect, but that doesn't seem to work.
Any suggestions on how to get his charming red eyes to glow would be greatly appreciated from any of you experienced Photoshop'ers.

Allrightie everyone, I'm off to visit your sites!
I'll see you all a bit later tonight!

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

   Do you have Photoshop? Please read!
Hey everybody. Logan-kun here.

If you missed yesterday's post, you may want to go back and give it a read when you have some extra time.
Keep in mind I'm not asking you to read it because it contained one of my trademark pity-rants (I'm sure you all just gave a big sigh of relief ~_^ ), but because it's about something I know you all care about: manga.
I know it's a bit of a long one, but that's just because it's a plug. If you read it, it may just open you to a new manga you'll really enjoy. ^_^

First off on today's post, I wanna' get through some bad news....
I won't go into full-details right now, because for some reason my fickle hormones aren't making me feel bad about it at this particular moment (I bet you all just gave another sigh of relief ~_^ ). Talking/Whining about it would make me feel depressed about it again, and I don't want to do that in one of the few times my hormones are doing something positive for me.
Just know that my brother did something on Sunday that was part of his normally obnoxious behavior and just got escalated, and that my mom is still being a tyrannical hypocrite as per her normal behavior.

In addition to the bad news, Miyoko-chan's brother, Scotty (did I spell his nick-name right, Erin?), is a bit ill at the moment.
Scott's prone to compound anxiety and panic-attacks, which hit him full-force this previous weekend.
Please pray for Scott's physical and mental health, as well as the eased worries of Erin and the rest of their family.

Okey-dokey, on to the good stuff! ^_^
I went to B&N's today (isn't having no homework & no school in the morning great? ^o^ ). I read more of the manga I was talking about yesterday (*winks & points to the post below*).
I'm currently starting volume 3 at the moment, and man, is it getting good! So many twists to follow and secrets being revealed!

Also, guess what I downloaded the other day....
And when I say "downloaded", I mean legally of course. >=P
(I was gonna' talk about this yesterday, but as you already know, yesterday's post was long enough. @_@ )

Well, as many of you may remember, my new friend Zach was teaching me a little bit about using Photoshop during our free-time in Sci. Vis. at school, where we had access to computers as well as the program at school.
Zig's taking an extracurricular class on tools like Photoshop, which I can't take myself because I have to be at home to baby-sit my little sister after school (WAAAAH!! T_T ).
So, Zig's giving me a crash-course in Photoshop during our extra time in that class, which we'll continue doing once school resumes in a week.

But, after 20 minutes with Photoshop, I knew I had to have it.
So, I do about 5 minutes of searching when I came home on Tuesday, and low & behold, they had the Trial Version available for free on the Adobe website!!!
That's right! Logan-kun now has Photoshop Elements 4.0 on his computer!
^_^ My Lord, I love this program!!

This soft-ware could greatly improve my artwork.
Seriously, I know it can.
When I say "improve", I mean it can un-do all that horrible damage my scanner does to my artwork.
*tear* It's like a whole new world just opened up to me.

The problem is.....I'm still learning how to use all those features that brighten colors and fix skin-tones. -_-' I'm totally clueless (and Zig's in Chicago right now, so calling him & asking for help isn't an option).
Are there any other Photoshop'ers here that use the program for their art that can help me out? I'd really appreciate any guidance you could give me.

Though it's only the Trial Version (I installed it on Friday, so I have 26 days left), I may just be able to keep using this software without ever having to buy it.
It said the only perk of buying the software was that there'd be no more "installing and re-installing", which leads me to believe the only down-side of not buying it is that I have to re-download and re-install it every 30 days.
I'm guessing most people using Photoshop are rich enough to afford its insane price and too lazy to just re-download it.

I'm a thrifty man, so I'd be more then happy to just have to re-download it rather then pay that hefty price for it. =3 Hooray for companies being too lazy to prevent little moochers like me! ^o^

It's slow as molasses (mmmmmm, molasses), and it's occupying a MASSIVE chunk of my PC's memory, but I love it. ^_^

OK, that's plenty enough from me for one night!
I bet you're all tired of my long-ass posts, aren’t you?
I'll see you all tomorrow!
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Monday, March 27, 2006

   Long post, but it's about something interesting....
Hey everybody. How's it going?

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.
It's just that there was like NO ONE here all weekend, and I didn't want stuff I post to just go into dead air. ^_^

So, anyway, I went on a solo manga-run on Saturday.
I tried to get in touch with Josh, but he was busy as far as I can tell. -_-'
It sucks, because my Spring Break and his Spring Break aren't in the same week. If they were, we'd have all week to go and manga-late. -_-' Meh, sucks, neh? It would have been nice to see him, since we haven't been on a manga-run together in so long.

On a quick side-note, I was doing a good amount of artistic work last night. ^_^
It makes me happy, because I've been in a bit of an artistic dry-spell since Friday. But now I've got my creative juices flowing for the rest of Spring Break. ^o^

In case you're wondering what exactly I was drawing last night, I was actually coloring those 2 zombie pics I drew on the 19th of February (I've been meaning to color them for a while).
One of them came out a lot worse when I colored it then it was in it's line-art version. But, luckily, I had scanned it before-hand, so it's all good. >=)
I'll have those pics up in the near future.

OK, now that the art-update's over, time to get back to the manga!
You remember that manga-run I mentioned going on on Saturday? Well, I have a new manga to plug!:

I went to B&N's rather then Boarders this weekend, and as you know (from my constant complaints) that they've done a sucky job of updating their manga. So, I was pretty desperate for something to read.
After mulling over the manga section about 15 times making sure I hadn't overlooked a manga I was looking for, I decided to try out a manga I heard about on the web....
Has anyone here ever read "Alice 19th"?
I was really, REALLY skeptical on weather I'd actually enjoy that manga or not since it's pretty far from my preferred style.
But, I tried it, and after about 20 pages I was enthralled.
I will be honest: It's a damn good manga.

I was doubting that I'd actually like the series or not because it seemed like one of those fantasy-fangirl oriented things by CLAMP or something.
No offense to CLAMP, but I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan of theirs. Their art-style and story-telling creeps me out beyond belief. I swear, those women think up stuff far scarier then any of my ghost-stories. O_o"
My buddy Josh really liked Chobits, but I think it traumatized me.

But, Alice 19th really surprised me.
Yuu Watase, the woman who draws Alice 19th, didn't have the CLAMP-esque ultra thin & wispy lining. Her art isn't my preferred style, but I still really enjoy it!
Yuu Watase isn't an Akamatsu, Watsuki, Moriyama or an Ozaki in my opinion (hugs and cookies if you can match all 3 of those authors with their mangas! ^o^ ), but she's got talent to spare in the art department.

I was even more surprised with the story.
What I heard on the Net that got me interested in Alice 19th was that it was a deep psychological story that played off of the themes in "Alice In Wonderland".
"The Matrix" and the "Resident Evil" movies do the same (though in a slightly different way), so needless to say that quality of the story kept me interested.
Though a lot of the original "Alice in Wonderland" story was fueled by Lewis Carroll’s Opium and mushroom habits (which I'll elaborate on some other time), it had some genuine themes of logic, Freudian psychology, mathematics and philosophy. But along with Mr. Carroll’s "inspiration", I'll explain that another time.

Anywho, the characters in Alice 19th are spectacular.
I was impressed by how deep each of the characters were, especially the leading male role. Usually that part is played by an overly stoic, unresponsive pretty-boy that the lead girl absolutely dotes on, going into cardiac-arrest every time he comes within a 3 foot radius of her. They're usually just iconic, flat characters that somehow eventually fall in love with the main girl (as opposed to one of the many other girls identical to the main one that are competing for his love). Bleh, those characters are boring. >_<

But not this guy. No, he's on the level.
His name is Kyo(u), by the way, and he's an actual character.
He has flaws, dilemmas, strengths and characteristics, as do all the other characters.
All the characters are complex, feeling, reactive (though sometimes a little too reactive, a la Fullmetal Panic) and generally true to life.
They're caught in dangerous emotional dilemmas, each of which is something that happens in real life (or maybe even something you yourself has already experienced) and needs to be solved.
Love-triangles, hatred, self-hatred, painful memories, disownment, disillusionment, all of which are things the characters are experiencing and trying to overcome.

On top of that, there's a psychologically influenced "world-jumping" element to the story.
But, you'll have to read it to find out what I mean. ;)

The next time you're at your local book-store, I highly suggest picking up the first volume of Alice 19th and exploring the rabbit-hole for yourself (I'm just so clever with these puns).

On a smaller manga-related note, I finished reading the 3rd volume of Chrono Crusade the other week.
I'll save the majority of what I have to say for next time, but damn does that volume ever have a climactic battle!!! It's just so darn cool and well-choreographed!

Chrono Crusade has some of my all-time favorite artwork, which is REALLY helping me out to have a reference (the facial-expressions and firearms are incredible).
Even better, one of the characters introduced in the second volume wears the exact same kind of clothes that one of my original characters wears, meaning he's a perfect reference on how to draw them! ^o^
Dont'cha just love when the manga-ka has exactly what you need help drawing in their manga? ^_^

Whew! Long post!
I'll stop in tomorrow with a bit less to read, OK?

I'll see you all tomorrow!
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Thursday, March 23, 2006

   $K00LZ 0UT!!!!!!!!
Guess what today is.
........
If you said today was the last day of school before Spring Break (basically meaning that it's Spring Break now), then you're right!
IT'S SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!
*THROWS HIS JACKET*

Woo-hoo! I'm now gonna' have time to draw and spend time on The Otaku! ^.^
This is gonna' be great!
Oh, and guess what....
I have no homework over the break!!!
*tear* It's like a dream come true!!! ^_^

Needless to say, I'm a fairly happy boy today.
I was feeling pretty crappy (emotionally) at school today, mostly due to not being able to stop mulling over the issue I'm trying to repress, but I feel better now. ^_^

Now that I'll have time, I'll be sure to scan and post a bunch of the doodles I've done in class recently (and not so recently).
I've been meaning to do it for a while now, but school-work (and laziness) has taken priority.

So, anyway, on to something fun.

You're all familiar with the first episode of Fullmetal Alchemist, correct? (Those of you who aren't may want to skip this section.)
Well, something I thought would be fun, as well as a bit nostalgic, would be to let you relive the first episode of FMA via screen-caps I've taken in Window's Movie Maker.
Of course, they won't be without commentary from yours truly. ~_^
There are a bunch of screen-caps, so I'll only do a few of them a day.

We'll see how this works out, and if the results are successful I'll doing it for the next few days.
So, here we go! ^o^ :



Ouch. Poor Edo. Errr....I mean, sucks for Ed!
I like my leg and especially my arm, so it'd suck to have them taken away by those creepy gate-babies. O_o" *shudder*



A creepy leather-ey texture from the thing Al & Ed created.
Icky.



Another icky texture from the failed trans-mutation.
Big, throbbing, postulating muscular-sack membranes. Ain't they pretty?



Be prepared to see a lot of close-up's on this kind of facial-expression when "Ghost Hunter" finally hits the shelves (it's such a cool expression....).
Ed looks genuinely petrified.



Spooky!!! >.<
The way it was all wheezing and breathing heavily didn't help much either.
I could learn a lot from the woman who designed this thing.



I remember a lot of you saying (back in November of 2004) that you really enjoyed the relief the comedy brought to the mood of the episode.
Al keeps filling up with sand, Ed gets frustrated, and then buried. XD



More of Ed getting buried alive. XD



Sooooooo pretty! ^o^
I love when this kind of detail goes into backgrounds!



The question...



...and the reaction. XD
I love the splash effects used here (that's a hard particle effect to do).
Feel free to save it to your computer for future reference for how to draw splash-physics.



X) Ed doesn't like be compared to a street-performer.
I love Ed's expression in this one.



And Lust makes her first appearance in the series, as an unsuspecting traveler.



Hot damn Lust is sexy....I mean creepy! Creepy! That's what I said! Creepy!!!


*ahem*, anyway, I'll continue this in my next post (tomorrow).
Feel free to share your thoughts on today’s caps, as well as anything else, for that matter. ^_^

I'll see you guys tomorrow!
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