Thursday, April 6, 2006

Dear sweet Lord….
I don’t know what I said the wrong way in my previous post, but it looks like everybody misinterpreted what I said; or at least what I meant.
Everybody (with the exception of thelostsindar) seemed to take what I said the wrong way, and thus got more then a little miffed at me.
I was honestly hoping for some support and/or advice, but I guess angry criticism is OK too. This is of course not to say you didn’t have the right to do so, because you absolutely have every right to, especially if you thought I had said something wrong. It’s just that I didn’t need a kick in the ribs at that point in time.

First off, Josh (DrunkenMaster) has been absent from The Otaku for nearly six months, and the first time he’s on since then is the one day I post something he doesn’t need to read.
*sigh*, I didn’t mean what it sounded like, OK? I just mean we both have some issues to think about before we can become stronger as both friends and as individuals.

Please keep in mind that that whole situation happened right after I had to sit here and watch an artist I respected and admired completely abase herself. I was recovering from having to sit through her doing that (I might still be recovering), so I wasn’t exactly in high spirits when I thought something similar might happen with someone even closer to me.
It was absolutely nauseating just sitting there as she blew everything I respected about her to pieces. I almost needed to cry after reading her do that. She was someone I idolized, and then she ripped-off her vale and revealed she was in full-league with the people I utterly loathe. (And before you start demanding to know who it is, I can tell you right now that’s not gonna’ happen for obvious reasons. And good luck guessing who she is, in case that was your plan. You don’t know if she’s here or on any of the many other art-sites out there. Hell, she could actually be a “he” for all you know, so don’t bother trying.)

As for the other comments yesterday, it seems you all assigned a lot of accusations to what I typed.
First off, I’m not even going to try defending myself from those of you who thought I was making religious accusations. I’m not going through the awkward and embarrassing explanations of why what I said wasn’t meant to put you guys down for whatever you choose to believe in, because it was the most arbitrary and nonsensical accusation of them all.
You took 2 or more completely separate parts of that post and combined them to make some kind of religious put-down that was apparently aimed at you, so that point isn’t even worth arguing.
Do you people just skim my posts and assemble what you didn’t read in yourself?

Secondly, many of you assumed that I was saying “there aren’t any good people in the world”. I didn’t say or mean anything of the sort.
Yes, I’m fully aware there are plenty of good people in the world. However, that’s not preventing the world from going to Hell in a hand-basket, now is it? Nope, the good-guys are far, FAR outnumbered, and what they do does little to slow our planet’s downward spiral.

Thirdly, those of you who did try to give “advice” just ended up proving how little you know about my situation.
I’m not going to insult you by giving specifics, but since I don’t have time to explain why your ideas don’t work in this post, I’ll save it for another time just in case you’re curious (I know you don’t have that much interest in my various personal matters, and I don’t blame you, but humor me a little).

Fourthly, it was concluded I was wrong in believing it’s unfair that I get shafted in my own family for doing what I’m told. I’d really like to have this point of you explained to me.
Am I wrong in being angry when parents tell me to do what’s right, and when I do so it gets me in an even worse position due to their own short-sightedness?
Is it not right for me to be angry that my parents’ stances are founded on total hypocrisy and apathy of their own son’s feelings?
What can I do to get it through to you: My parents are hypocritical cauldrons of stress that treat me like a 7-year-old and can’t be reasoned with.
Am I so bad in wanting to change that?
I want my parents to give me the respect and trust I’ve earned and know that I deserve. Does wanting that mean that “I want the world to change to make it easier for me”?
I’m tired of working my ass off and nobody caring. Is that so unacceptable?

*sigh*, I know I’m getting on a lot of your nerves, and rightfully so. But I’m dealing with about 12 different layers of shitty problems right now; most of which you don’t even know are present; and they’re all eating away at my insides.
I don’t know who (if anybody) I can trust with my problems. They’re too entangled in the community for most people on The Otaku, Josh might not be comfortable talking about them, and my parents are obviously out of the question.

My sincerest gratitude goes to you if you read through all that (without fucking skimming). I’ll see you all again as soon as I can get a grip on what I’m dealing with.
‘Till then, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

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