Friday, April 21, 2006

   When Things Get Too Real
Hey everybody. How's it going?

Well, my parents recently celebrated their 20th Anniversary (Woo-hoo! ^.^ ), and they chose this weekend to celebrate. They'll be in Charleston 'till Sunday evening.
Since my parents couldn't leave me with the hoodlums all day long (not due to my inabilities, mind you, but because my brother and sister are absolute terrors), we have a young woman named Alyssa coming to baby-sit my brother & sister 'till Sunday (*phew*).
Alyssa is the daughter of one of my mom's good friends from her office.
Well, here's to hoping that Alyssa isn't as easily manipulated by my brother as my mom is. *makes a toast*

As far as things are going for me here on The Otaku, I'm not feeling too well at the moment, due to a recent incident involving art, ideals, retaliation and the whole 9-yards.
However, I doubt it's a good idea to go into details on this situation, mainly because of 2 things:
1. I think it's realistic to assume you all are tired of listening to me bitch & moan about my problems,
and 2. Honestly, I doubt anyone here would support me on this.
When I first met a lot of people here, I thought they were mature and respectable enough to know a basic difference between what's acceptable and what's not. But as time went on, I learned more and more about the people on here, much of which really made me sad. At the end of it all I've come to the conclusion that nobody here would be on my side on this issue, and that's a pretty crippling realization to come to.
A lot of the ways I thought about people here were false, and they've proven themselves to not be the pure-hearted individuals I had made friends with. Honestly, they're people I shouldn't be friends with, but didn't know it at the time.
Such a situation makes it hard to know who to go to for help here. My friends on The Otaku have always been there to offer advice and support, but I somehow doubt they will this time. It's bad enough feeling out-numbered, but it's even worse when many of the few people you thought would stand by you prove they're not in full support.

I used to come to The Otaku to relax and unwind, but now it's become almost as stressful as school or my family. The atmosphere here makes me just so darn confused on what should be done about it.
Honestly, some of the things going down here are driving me down-right insane. I just can't be dealing with them on a daily-basis anymore. They may be problems that have been here on The Otaku ever since I joined, but way back then it was not as common-place as it is today, thus leading me to the conclusion that The Otaku is slowly degenerating and decaying as a whole, and has been for a while.
The Otaku should be a place for intelligent anime-artists to come together and share ideas, not a place ignorant perverts to delight in corruption and their own twisted-ness.

And before you say anything, I'm fully aware that I'm far from being the worst-off based on most peoples' situations.
For example, I'd say Lindsey-chan deserves a bit more sympathy than I do. As you all know, Lindsey's been dealing with the loss of her cat, Furball, after 18 years of being with him. Needless to say, that can take a bit of a toll on a person.
And though she played it down on her site, Lindsey recently was informed of what I consider to be close to the most horrific & disheartening news an artist can receive. Upon examination of her wrist (her dominant one, by the way), it was concluded that there was nothing a doctor or surgeon could do to stop the pain, meaning Lindsey, an artist, is going to have severe pain in her wrist for the rest of her life.
Of course, there will always be things like pain-killers and possibly even something like massage-therapy to give temporary relief, but Lindsey's been dealt a permanent problem she'll be dealing with for the rest of her life.
Ever since Lindsey had to go into surgery about a year ago and was threatened with permanent damage to her dominant hand, I've come face-to-face with one of my biggest and most realistic fears: lasting medical damage to or possibly even permanent loss of my hands.
Art is honestly one of the things that make life worth living for me. For me, constant physical pain in my dominant arm and hand, so much as to prevent me from doing what I love, would be a punishment as bad as death. That kind of possibility keeps me awake at night with how real it is.

Needless to say, please pray for Lindsey-chan's physical & emotional healing especially hard. If I were going through the same things she was, I'd absolutely break under the stress.
Please also remember everyone else on the Prayer List, and I'll see you guys later.

I'll try & liven-up this post with some artwork.
"Happiness..." by nebriniel:


Roy is damn-lucky to have a woman who's so passionate about her firearms.
Notice her "fmaPod". ^_^
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