Saturday, July 23, 2005

   what cd shall i d/l and burn next??
so yesterday we never went to the club. that was kinda disappointing. oh well.

i figured since i have no money, and i want cd's why not just download all the music and burn the cd's myself. so i did that today. i made 4 cd's. they were Hawthorne Heights, Social Code, Senses Fail, and Straylight Run. im so smart^^ ok not really.

i was talkin to my friend last night and he totally gave me a reality check. im sooo sorry i hurt you..i never meant to cause you so much pain. i love you!

anywho, my computer is still messing up, but i did take a few quizzes. i'll leave you with one.

hope you all have a good weekend^^

Part Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

>^.~< *innocently smiles*

*~Badkitty~*
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Friday, July 22, 2005

   stupid internet = short post


my internet keeps messing up so i wasn't able to post yesterday. its still messing up. i finally got it working long enough for this post. i don't know if i'll be able to get to any sites or not, depends on how my computer works.

ummmm well nothing to really post about. so far i dont really have any plans for this weekend. i was suposed to go to a club tonight but my friend beth never called me with the details, so i dunno.

well i guess thats all...



*~Badkitty~*
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

what the hell did i do to make you so mad>?
don't you hate it when your stuck somewhere and want to leave but have no way home. like when you stay at a friends house and things aren't going so well and all you wanna do is leave, but can't.

well monday my mom took manda home, and i decided to go too. i planned on staying for a few days. hey, we usualy find something to do, and it sure beats sitting at home...alone...with nothing to do.

things were good at first. we went to the store and boutght paint to paint her room. she was cleaning her room so we could paint the next morning. i was trying to help, but i could tell she was getting annoyed with me by the tone of her voice. i mean if i was in the way just say so and i'd leave. so i went into the living room to watch tv until she was done.

the next morning (yesterday) we painted her room. its red. it looks really neat. while we were painting, she got annoyed with me again, so i let her finish the bits and peices that needed to be done. then i asked if we were gonna go swimming and she didn't answer so i asked again. she was like...you keep asking me when i dont want to go. well how and the hell do i know you dont wanna go if you dont fucking answer me??

we finally went swimming. there were bugs in the pool, so i asked where the net was. i was kinda complaining about the bugs, but i was already in a depressed mood cuz she was being so bitchie to me earlier so i said i dont feel like swimming now. she was like fine get out then its only bugs, youve swam in the pool when it was green. i was standing in the pool, on the side trying to be by myself, and her mom comes out and is like whats wrong with her? mandas like shes being grumpy. makin fun of me. i just stood there listning, wondering why the hell i put up with letting ppl talk about me. im already feeling depressed and you dont even care to ask whats wrong, but assume im mad, so u decided its fun to joke about me. usually i would laugh and play along, but i cant just cant take it anymore.

im sitting here typing this post still feeling like shit. the only good thing about me being stuck here is i cant cut. if i was home i know i would already have a few new scars to add to the collection. i look down at my wrist and see the most recent mark starting to heal over..and it makes me want to cry. not because i did this to myself, but why.

GOD i just cant take this anymore. i wish i could just disappear. not that it would make any difference. no one would notice im gone. theres nothing for me here. my life is completely shit right now. i hate it. i need to just get away....far away. away from my so called friends and this sad pathetic excuese for a family. i just need to get away and start over. i dont need to depend on anyone. im pratically on my own now. mom sleeps all day, its like she doesnt exist. when she is awake, all we do is fight and bitch at eachother...

i would love to say im gonna go sit in my room in the dark listing to my fav slipknot cd (slipknot is perfect for this kind of mood by the way) and watch the hours slowly pass by all the while adding a few new scars to the collection. sadly i cant..im not home. damn do i wish i was....

*~Badkitty~*
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Monday, July 18, 2005

   Calling ~ Taproot
Calling

Your face is burned inside my brain
I lost my way
Your taste of stale flows through my veins
The cost of hate
'Cause you'll never understand me
You want me to stay

You're c-c-c-calling but I can't hear you
I'm not listening anymore
You're subject to falling but I can't save you
I don't see you anymore

The race of slowing down the pain, I found a way
The pace of speaking so mundane, the sound of gain
But you'll never make me happy
So I've extinguished the flame

You're c-c-c-calling, but I cant hear you
I'm not listening anymore
You're subject to falling, but I can't save you
I don't see you anymore

And what you want me to say I'll never say
You're playing the game that I'll never play
So what do you want from me?
Now I've extinguished the flame

Your c-c-c-calling but I can't hear you
I'm not listening anymore
You're subject to falling but I can't save you
I don't see you anymore
You're c-c-c-calling but I can't hear you, I'm not listening anymore
You're f-f-f-falling, but I can't save you
I don't see you anymore

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

So Saturday I went to my friend Ashley’s birthday. It was fun. They rented a moonwalk. So it was fun to actually get to jump in it instead of running it (I’ve worked at a moonwalk place b4). Then when i got home, I noticed a package had come in the mail for me. I was excited cuz it was my books. I ordered Good Faries/Bad Faries by Brian Froud (I have the first book too). I also got my Wiccian book, so I was happy.

My cat was spazzin out on cat nip…it was pretty funny. Other than that, there’s not really anything to post about.



*~Badkitty~*
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Saturday, July 16, 2005

   Swing Life Away ~ Rise Against
Swing Life Away Lyrics

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away [x4]

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

That’s a really good song. I just downloaded it last night actually.

So yesterday I went to see my uncle Jim in the hospital. He had surgery to remove a tumor on his bladder. Good news is it wasn’t cancerious and he should be able to go home some time next week.

Then me and mom went to the store and I bought a CD (The Killers), then we went and rented 2 movies. She got Million Dollar Baby, and I got Hide & Seek. I haven’t watched it yet, but I’ll prolly do that after I post.

I got to a few sites today, but not many. I don’t know If I’ll get to any today, because I’m going to a birthday party. My friend Ashley turned 18 on Wednesday, and today is her party. Happy Birthday Ashley^^

I might go up north to my sisters house for a while. If I do, I don’t know how often I’ll be able to update. Me and my mom are fighting again, and it would be easier for both of us if I was out of the picture. *sigh*

I really hate it when people tell me what I should do with my life. It’s like fuck off, its my life, not yours. Leave me the fuck alone!! >.< today when we went to see my uncle Jim, my aunt Linda was so annoying. I swear I really hate her!

Aunt Linda: so do you have a car?
Me: no n_n
A few minutes later…
Aunt Linda: so where do you work?
Me: no where..
Aunt Linda: just relaxing then?
Me: yah I guess
……..
Aunt Linda: so what are you gonna do this fall?
Me: I dunno..
Me: I’ll decide when it gets here
Aunt Linda: you’re not going to school
Me: no
Aunt Linda: you should go to eastern (Eastern Michigan University).
(I can get a discount cuz my mom works there)
Me: >o.O< *thinks to self, hello..I said im not going to college*

Then was saying all this stuff about going to school, and where I should get a job. I’m thinking blah blah blah I don’t care…why won’t you shut up? die woman *sets her on fire in my mind then laughs as she slowly and painfully burns to death*

ANYWHO…………that’s all for now..


I was gonna post that picture for 4th of July, but I wasn’t home.

*~Badkitty~*
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Friday, July 15, 2005

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life 'twas on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleepovers, and parties; she was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be. On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!" To be known in this school you had to have clout, And dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?" Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right." Excited, she got ready for the big event But as she rushed around like she had no sense, She began to feel guilty about all the lies, But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, But the moonlight ride would have to wait. For Dan was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Dan was ready to ride to the point But only after he'd smoked another joint. They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, And Dan started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.) "Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb." With all of her might, she pushed Dan away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay." Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town. "Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride." Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, And heard, "call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble! Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right, And if the people in the other car were alive. She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head, As they gently told her that Dan was dead. They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died." Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done. only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, And wish I could return their families to them." "Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?" The nurse just stood there-she never agreed. But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best to bid that girl her one last request?" She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad." This story is sad and unpleasant but true, So young people take heed, it could have been you.

*~Badkitty~*
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Thursday, July 14, 2005

...
srry for the late post...

nothing much to say. picked up some mangas from the library yesterday. i got paradise kiss 3 (loved it^^), model 1, demon diary 2,3 (just waiting for 1..lol).

manda came over the other day. we went swimming..that was fun. i guess. we played monopoly for about 5 1/2 hours..i won..like always. my grand total with money and properties was $15,118. so yah..i won :P

nothing else to talk about i guess...see yah

oh yah i almost forgot. today is my nephew's birthday. he is 8 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAD^^

*~Badkitty~*


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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

no title for you!!
hi everyone^^

its been a couple days i know. like i said, i had a graduation party to go to on sunday. twas really fun^^ we got to go swimming in the lake (even if belleville lake is scary and 2 ppl drowned in it a few days b4...but thats not the point). so i got to see some friends, and even got invited to a bday party for this weekend. things really have been going good lately. party (or somekind) every weekend.

sorry to the ppl who have recently signed my gb. i haven't been able to sign yours back yet. i'm going home later today (im at mandas house) so i can do that when i get home.

oh yah..manda's cat had a kitten the other day and i have first dibs on it. shes sooo cute. right now we're calling her squishy, but im thinking of a cool Japanese name for her. she has stripes and it reminds me of a tiger, so i was thinking of calling her Kisa, but i dunno yet.

i'll post a couple pics of her and you guys can give me some ideas for a name. it doesn't have to be Japanese, but it would be kool if it was.

the one called squishy:


im not choking her, i swear:


why yes, that is a kitten on my boob:


ok well i look forward to hearing the suggestions for names...

*~Badkitty~*
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Saturday, July 9, 2005

   old posts...old memories...
>.< damnit! i had my post all typed up ready to submit and internet explorer closed on me. i've been having problems with it lately. prolly apyware...

anywho, i was going throught my old posts. i came across the ones from when faith was in the hospital and died. i read them all over again. it was sad, but some of the parts were comforting. like the parts when i got to actually see her. those were sad memories, but cting all the same. i still cant believe its been 3 months. i think i will go ot the cemetery today. i haven't been there in a while. i also still want to plant flowers or a small tree of some kind out at the site where she was hit.

*sigh* anywho, i watched castle in the sky yesterday. twas good. if you liked spirited away, or kiki's delivery service, or any of the other movies by him, you'll like this one.

tomorrow is my friend Bethany's graduation party, so i might not update tomorrow.

yay my birthday is comming up soon. i can't wait^^



well, see you soon...

*~Badkitty~*
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Friday, July 8, 2005

   title of post
sorry i haven't updated in a few days. on sunday i went to my friends house (she lives on a lake). i stayed for 2 days. it was really fun. we swam alot and got to see people set off fireworks over the lake at night while we were swimming. we played cards and her brothers friend hung out with us. her brother went next door and his friend didn't want to go, so he stayed with us. it was funny, we were playing the card game spoons and we used plastic forks instead and we were throwing them at eachother and "forking" him. it was funny^^

hmmm nothing else really to talk about. i bought another anime dvd. i haven't watched it yet so i dont know if its any good. it's called Blood: the last vampire. its made by the same people who made Ghost in the Shell, so i hope its good.

also yesterday i watched the 2nd Inuyasha movie. it was really good. it made me cry lol.



*~Badkitty~*
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