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AIM
• Badkitty172002
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• babydoll_angel87

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Birthday
• 1987-08-10
Gender
• Female
Location
• Ypsilanti, Michigan
Member Since
• 2004-04-28
Occupation
• Nanny/College
Real Name
• Crystal

Personal

Achievements
• Graduated from High School^^
Anime Fan Since
• it started in like 4th grade with sailormoon.....
Favorite Anime
• inuyasha, trigun, fruits basket, cowboy bebop, chobits, love hina, ceres:celestial legend, flcl, lupin the 3rd, wolf's rain, case closed, athf..yah just to name a few
Goals
• get out of my mothers house >.<
Hobbies
• tattoos/piercings, reading, writing, poetry, music, anime..the usual
Talents
• I don't think i have any talents...i'm not a talented person *tear*




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myOtaku.com: Badkitty172002


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

what the hell did i do to make you so mad>?
don't you hate it when your stuck somewhere and want to leave but have no way home. like when you stay at a friends house and things aren't going so well and all you wanna do is leave, but can't.

well monday my mom took manda home, and i decided to go too. i planned on staying for a few days. hey, we usualy find something to do, and it sure beats sitting at home...alone...with nothing to do.

things were good at first. we went to the store and boutght paint to paint her room. she was cleaning her room so we could paint the next morning. i was trying to help, but i could tell she was getting annoyed with me by the tone of her voice. i mean if i was in the way just say so and i'd leave. so i went into the living room to watch tv until she was done.

the next morning (yesterday) we painted her room. its red. it looks really neat. while we were painting, she got annoyed with me again, so i let her finish the bits and peices that needed to be done. then i asked if we were gonna go swimming and she didn't answer so i asked again. she was like...you keep asking me when i dont want to go. well how and the hell do i know you dont wanna go if you dont fucking answer me??

we finally went swimming. there were bugs in the pool, so i asked where the net was. i was kinda complaining about the bugs, but i was already in a depressed mood cuz she was being so bitchie to me earlier so i said i dont feel like swimming now. she was like fine get out then its only bugs, youve swam in the pool when it was green. i was standing in the pool, on the side trying to be by myself, and her mom comes out and is like whats wrong with her? mandas like shes being grumpy. makin fun of me. i just stood there listning, wondering why the hell i put up with letting ppl talk about me. im already feeling depressed and you dont even care to ask whats wrong, but assume im mad, so u decided its fun to joke about me. usually i would laugh and play along, but i cant just cant take it anymore.

im sitting here typing this post still feeling like shit. the only good thing about me being stuck here is i cant cut. if i was home i know i would already have a few new scars to add to the collection. i look down at my wrist and see the most recent mark starting to heal over..and it makes me want to cry. not because i did this to myself, but why.

GOD i just cant take this anymore. i wish i could just disappear. not that it would make any difference. no one would notice im gone. theres nothing for me here. my life is completely shit right now. i hate it. i need to just get away....far away. away from my so called friends and this sad pathetic excuese for a family. i just need to get away and start over. i dont need to depend on anyone. im pratically on my own now. mom sleeps all day, its like she doesnt exist. when she is awake, all we do is fight and bitch at eachother...

i would love to say im gonna go sit in my room in the dark listing to my fav slipknot cd (slipknot is perfect for this kind of mood by the way) and watch the hours slowly pass by all the while adding a few new scars to the collection. sadly i cant..im not home. damn do i wish i was....

*~Badkitty~*
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