Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Decembers ~ Hawthorne Heights
Hawthorne Heights Lyrics

Decembers Lyrics

Lets to try to remember these days back in December
Our lives were very different
I was lonely when we first met
A small upstairs apartment
Driving through the darkness before they even knew you were gone

You don't even have to speak because I can hear your heartbeat
Fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink
You don't have to cover up how you feel when your in love
I'll always know im not enough to even make you think

Please slow down girl
We're moving way to fast for their world
We gotta make this last

I miss you so much, a self inflicted coma
The days drag on I never thought of running with their feet
And when i feel the stress, I'm lonely and depressed
I picture you in the dress you wore four weeks ago

You don't even have to speak because I can hear your heartbeat
Fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink
You don't have to cover up how you feel when your in love
I'll always know im not enough to even make you think

Please slow down girl
We're moving way to fast for their world
We gotta make this last
I know it hurts to feel so alone
I'm by myself, more then you can know

If only they were all alone...
They were all alone...

Please slow down girl
We're moving way to fast for their world
We gotta make this last
Slow down girl
We're moving way to fast for their world
We gotta make this last

I know it hurts to feel so alone
I'm by myself, more then you can know

If only they were all alone...
They were all alone...
They were all alone...
They were all alone...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



i think that's my favorite song off the new Hawthorne Heights CD. it's a slow song and i really like it. It's #12 (Decembers). i also like #7 (I Am On Your Side) and #10 (Cross Me Off Your List).

Wow i haven't updated in a really long time. lets see..what's been happening since my last update. i moved. we got a new apt which is really nice. our balcony overlooks the lake. the lake is icky and you can't swim in it (too many drop offs..a lot of people have drowned in it..ewww. i wouldn't want to be swimming and get stuck on a dead bosy...*shudders* ) but it still looks pretty.

my brother and his g/f are having a baby. it's a boy. i'm really excited. this will be my 4th nephew, but the first one from my brother (my sister has 3 boys). i've been going to their house alot lately. the last 2 weekends i have spent with them. mainly so i could babysit for them. his g/f mary has 2 daughters from her previous marriage. after i babysat, the girls went to their grandmas house and we hung out. the first weekend, my brother, his friend brian and i all drank (mary didn't because of the baby). that was fun :P then last weekend, we went to the movies. we seen 'The Hills Have Eyes'. it was a pretty good movie. it was different than i had expected, but it was still good. it was worth the money at the theater.

hmmmm what else....not a whole lot has been going on. i registered online for college, i just have to call and set up an appointment for orientation, and select my classes. i will be taking english classes. i haven't decided if i want to do writing (which is my passion) or take literature classes. i will probally take a couple of each and see what i like.

i need a job..... it's kind of hard for me to find one though. i think they look at my appearance and act nice when i give them my application, but don't take me seriously, due to the way i look. my hair is purple and red (which is faded now) and i have a lip ring..and eyebrow ring. i'm willing to work with them and change my appearance. i can dye my hair back to a normal color, and the jewelry can be taken out while i work (or i can just buy clear spacers to put in while i work so the holes don't close up). maybe i'm just thinking things that way..maybe there is someone else who is more experienced than me, and they passed me up, not due to my looks. but i'll never know, since no one ever calls me back -.-;

anywho........

geeze..i can't believe it has really been almost a year. i know evertime i post i say this, but now it's become so much more real. thursday will be one year since faith was hit. and next tuesday will be one year since she actually died (she was hit march 30th, and died in the hospital april 4th).

just when things started to get better...just when my wounds were finally beginning to heal, they get ripped open again. i was doing better with my depression, and wasn't having suicidal thoughts anymore..not right up until the weeks before i moved. i guess i was sad to leave all the memories i had made there. there were so many great memories there...and im afraid i'll lose them. and then the stores began setting out easter stuff...and just looking at it ripped me up inside. the last day i spent with faith while she was alive was easter. seeing the easter dresses is also sad, because she was buried in her easter dress. i seen her mom while she was working the other day, and she told me her cat died. his name was tommy, and he was faith's baby. she carried him all over, and when she was killed he knew it. he sat around and cried, because he knew something was wrong. then just a week before a year of her death, he got sick again and died. :'(

then on top of that..my mom is making me get rid of my cat. The new apartment allows pets, but you have to give them a $200 non~refundable security deposit, and pay an extra $20 rent each month, and we dont have the $200 dollars. we told them we didn't have pets, but my mom thinks they will find out, then we will get kicked out. i really dont want to give him away..espically right now, when im depressed. i dont want to go through reliving faiths accident, and giving up my cat on top of that. i already have to give up my bunnie. but my sister took her for me, so at least i know she is safe and when i go back and visit up north i can see her.

wow i actually made quite a long post. i'll do my best to visit sites, but i don't know how well that will go over. and now that my comp is in my room, i may update more. i'll at least try to update once a week...but i don't know how long that will last. TheO just isn't the same as it used to be. i miss the old days...and the way things were last year. oh well...i can't change things...

oooh yeah...i have a new s/n for AIM. not that anyone cares i'm sure. the s/n is NinJaKittyXXX
IM me sometime! or on Yahoo..or MSN. or Gaiaonline, or Myspace....haha

well i guess that's about it for tonite. ttyl....

oh and thx to the people who actually still come and comment my site. it's nice to see you guys. i missed my friends from theO!

*~Badkitty~*
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