Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Germ-Away

I need a hobby. ._."

Anyway~ I'm not totally sure why I'm blogging but I'm bored and eating left over cake. Kind of depressing (Not really).

My friend Sam introduced me to his so-called "Little Sister", Kat, earlier today. What do you say to someone who admits they lick random lamp posts? +______+ All I said was, "..That sounds like unhygienic fun."

I'm in no position to be judging fetishes but lamp posts? *Hugs bottle of hand sanitizer*
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Stalking business
Three posts now and they're all starting with Cota. How weird. But anyway, Andrew swears I'm stalking some girl from deviant art because I keep talking about her. Which isn't true, maybe I do obsess a little (kidding), but it's not my fault she's a good artist and has wicked style. D< And I found it funny because I finally decided to pick up one of her manga's today from Barnes & Nobles and one of the characters in her story (RE: play) is a girl with my name. Charles -- Char for short. So who's stalking who now?

Besides that, it was my mom's birthday on Monday. She's 38 now, which only reminds me I'm getting old too. Har har~

Anyone notice the new icon? According to the bestie, only pedophiles like me go out of their way to spend monies on over-sized lollipops. LURING IN THE CHILDRUNZ FTW?

-----EDIT

My step sibblings are in town for the summer; and if you're wondering, yes, it is pretty awful.

I have to share my room with my step sister Maddison, which isn't too bad I guess seeing as how I'm rarely in there anyway. But she's just realized the poster on my wall with two girls kissing and she's telling everyone about it. Which I guess I couldn't really care much about either, but it's got my step brother Né calling me a "Lez" now. Hah~ I guess I had it coming though. I caught him watching an old Lizzie McGuire movie and kept poking fun at him so the first and only thing he could think of was, "Eff you, lez."

I told him to go ahead and keep calling me that if it made him feel better; it doesn't change the fact that I get more girls than he ever will, though. >:D
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Sunday, June 24, 2007

Blastphome.
I nearly creamed my panties earlier because Cota told me that Dir En Grey would be in town on Friday, but he also said they'd be there with two other bands: Deftones and Fall of Troy. If I go I'll be surrounded by a bunch of emo's and scene kids. -_-" But I really don't think there's a big chance D.E.G is ever going to come through here again. D:
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Keeping Up With The Joneses
Andrew's just informed me that his brother Jesse, who has been seeing two different women for the past month (because he is such a pimp), has gotten his second galpal pregnant. She’s been calling frequently for the past week trying to get a hold of him and he’s not calling her back. Way to take responsibility for your own actions, Mr. I’m-a-26-year-old-parolee. No, it didn’t take me long to come up with that name at all. I would have thrown in “who lives with his mom” but that would have been too much.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Ewe, That’s so sad but who told the girl to let some guy like that in her pants in the first place right? I mean, how do you fail to notice the big “Hi. I’m fresh out of jail and I have no job,” sign hanging over his bald, tattooed head?

Yes, I sound mean and I’m totally bashing Jesse but I don’t like guys who do that. …Which would be most of the male specimen populating this planet, but that’s just really not freaking cool. Yes I said, “freaking.” I’m working on cursing less if you haven’t noticed. And Jesse owes me five dollars! I want that five dollars back.

Andrew: Yeah, Skank has been calling non-stop for Jesse and she told my mom it was urgent. (We don’t know the girls’ real names. :x)
Me: Wait which one is Skank again?
Andrew: The newer one.
Me: The cuter one?
Andrew: …Well she’s cute compared to the other girl.
Me: Oh right.
Andrew: Mhm. She says she’s pregnant and Jesse’s ignoring her calls.
Me: See, Delilah, that’s why I said not to let any boys stick their peepers in your bajingo. They’ll get you pregg0rz and then stop taking your calls.
Andrew: *Girly voice*……But they always promise to pull out!

But seriously, I do feel bad for Skank. She was the nicer of the two. She was actually polite too! The other girl, every time I was over there, would be sprawled out on the couch eating or watching TV like it was her own house.
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Monday, June 4, 2007

Explode or Implode?

So all I did this weekend was hang out with Cota and watch Pokemanz. Oh yeah, big marathon. That girl May is way too hot to be a ten year old.


Haha~
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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Failure to Launch
At any cost, avoid public bathrooms.
They. Are. Scary.
The sink I'm standing next to looks like
it should be a prop used in a horror film.


My parents forced me to leave town with them for a day. They said it was "Bonding". I'm not so sure spending $3.25 on a tall Caramel Frappuccino, twenty dollars on a sweatshirt, and maybe forty on gas is considered bonding. But whatever makes them happy.

I went in for a check up today.

Last night my throat started closing up on me and I thought I was going to die from anaphylaxis-whatever. That was scary. But the doctor said it was probably nothing and just handed me a bunch of pills. He's also stereotyped me as an emo. Says I probably have anxiety and because I'm in independent studies he assumes its because being around people makes me nervous and panicky.

I had mentioned being anti-social and he asked if it was because I feared being around others. I said, "No because people are stupid."

My stepdad was in the room. He got a kick out of the conversation between the doctor and I, and said he was surprised the doctor didn't ask if I was a cutter. o_o;
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

›o‹
I'm so frickin' cranky all of a sudden, and I know it's because my brain's spazzing out over the lack of Nicotine. I'm regretting breaking my last cigarettes in half now. D:<

I need to quit though.

Seriously, my lungs are failing on me. It's hard to breathe a lot of the time and sometimes it actually hurts to breathe. I'm not sure what the hell is up with that.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Different Names For The Same Things


Haha.
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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Green House Effect
Its hilarious how I keep getting sass from people for doing nothing. Josh said to me the other day, "I miss my girlfriend." and I said, "Yeah, I miss her too." It was obviously a joke because I haven't even been allowed to meet her. He got all upset with me saying I was making 'fun' of his galpal, which is bullshit. I was just trying to lighten the mood because honestly that’s all I can do when someone’s down. I make people laugh. Besides, I'm not sure what is so offensive about claiming to miss someone I've never met.

Later on that same day I spoke to Josh's younger brother, Jeff, who isn't exactly fond of me. (He's an old friend who stopped coming around because I didn't want to date him. Yeah, nice guy, right?) Well I wasn’t going to talk to him, but he initiated the conversation. I randomly stated, "I hate the sun. Global warming go away plaz." which was directed at no one in particular and he responded with "It aint gonna go away when people like you are smoking. Ok, Charlie." I wanted to laugh because little does that kid know, his big brother falls into that category of "People like me". Josh smokes almost as much as I do. But seriously, that was random sass. I only asked, "Ok..where the hell did that come from?" And he started laughing hysterically because apparently I'm a total clown when I'm not trying to be and then said, "Stop polluting the air!"

This kid is blaming global warming on me?

I went ahead and deadpanned a Ha-ha and said, "I'm probably affecting the ozone layer just as much as you are, sweetheart." Then he started saying, "Uh..No. I don't think so. You're polluting the air with your cigarettes."

It's amazing how dense some people can be. With all the things that are going on in the world, the only thing he can blame global warming on is tobacco smoke? I feel like smacking the kid because I really don't like people trying to tell me off when they obviously have no clue what they are talking about.

And I really don’t like when people are pointing the blame on everyone else but themselves. I let him know that: Every body is contributing to global warming. Because every body produces Methane gas in their intestines; And every body farts. So unless people stop farting all together, global warming is inevitable.

And another thing, Jeff isn’t a save-the-planet freak. He’s not even a health nut. He works at a McDonald’s and I know he litters all the time. The kid spends all his time playing videogames and because he is a part of a band now, has a little freshmen girlfriend, and a car, he thinks he can talk down to me and blame the warming of the Earth on me?

Fuck you, Jeff. :)
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Sterile Sheets
Hospitals are said to be creepy, but I don’t buy into that whole ‘ghost’ crap. Oh no. But there was something else I was terribly afraid of last night, as I sat in that stale air-filled room, with nothing but the sound of my Gameboy to comfort me (and the ever so irritating thing I named ‘the techno beat,’ which I later learned to be the baby’s heartbeat): Germs. Over the past seven or eight years of living under the same roof as my step dad, I’ve been turned into somewhat of a germophobe.

It was awful.

I kept disinfecting my hands with the hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall and I opened the doors with a napkin. My germophobia usually isn’t that bad, but give me a break. It was a hospital –Maternal ward or not. As soon as I got home I threw my clothes into the washer and took a thirty-minute shower.

I was getting Mexican food with a friend when Billy called and said his wife was going into labor. When he said that I figured he meant right then so I immediately rushed over. He says he was glad I was there because his parents went home and I was the only one who stayed over night. I was glad I could be there for them too but I didn’t get one blink of sleep that night. I had to stay up and wake Billy if his wife became dilated.

That kid really makes me laugh though. He’s a dad now at twenty-one, and he acts like a teenager, still. It’s kind of scary. A nurse slapped him because she asked, “What are you going to name the baby?” His response was, “Selphie.” The nurse then smiled and said, “That’s a cute name. Where’s it from?” I believe she slapped him after he said, “A video game.” I found it even more hilarious when he almost fainted after watching the baby come out, though. He says his first reaction was, “Oh my god my baby’s a cone head?!” On the ride home he told me he didn’t know that was normal. I would have gone into a long drawn out explanation on why a baby’s skull was shaped that way at birth, but I figured he wouldn’t have understood it anyway –less remember it two minutes later.

I’m still exhausted. 12 hours, I sat in that room and not to complain –any more than I already am– but hospitals really could use some more comfortable chairs. The only time I left the room was after 4AM when my aunt and uncle came back and there were too many visitors. I offered to step outside because I needed coffee and a cigarette. Inside the cafeteria my uncle made his way over because I guess he didn’t want to be in the room anymore and for an hour and a half I had to sit in there and listen to him rant on about his usual sexist mumble jumble. I guess you’d call him old fashioned, I just call him a douche bag. Apparently in the old days, it was better. Women treated men with full respect and men only paid back that respect (as he put it) 75 percent. I set my Gameboy down and asked, “Shouldn’t it be equal?” He replied with a quick, “Noo-o.” Evidently, women are supposed to be housewives and really nothing more than a sex object and slave while men are supposed to work. I wanted to throw in “If your wife didn’t have her Master’s Degree in Social Work you’d be living in a shack.” Because really, I don’t think anyone can support a family being a pizza deliveryman. He says guys ‘like him’ are intimidated by women with education because they will talk down to their husbands and I guess they feel less like a man when their wives are bringing home the bacon. Shit I wouldn’t mind one bit if my wife were volunteering to support my candied ass.

I should join a feminist group. xD

But ladies, when even the thought of having a child crosses your mind, take into consideration that you will fart, poop, and pee in front of ten strangers staring intently at your vagina. And it will hurt.


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