myOtaku.com: bebopinutrigun188

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-02-18
Gender
• Female
Location
• illinois, usa
Member Since
• 2004-07-01
Real Name
• vanessa

Personal

Achievements
• finding myOtaku
Anime Fan Since
• 4th grade
Favorite Anime
• cowboy bebop, trigun, miyazaki films
Goals
• make you remember me

myOtaku.com: bebopinutrigun188

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

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Thursday, May 5, 2005

Rain On Me
Listening to that Ashanti song. It like reflects how I'm feeling now. I'm just so emotionally, physically, and mentally tired right now. I'm about to go like take a nap. Thats all I really do lately. It's the only thing I can do that I won't have to think about everything thats been bothering me.

I want to vent so bad, but I dont even feel safe telling you guys because I know that there are people from school who might be reading this. Knowing my friends, they'll go and blab in a second.

I felt so hot and tired. My legs ached (I dont even know what I could've done to make them ache) and I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Everyone else seemed hyper today, but I just wanted to curl into a ball. I'm not really sad, but maybe that would help me just feel better. It's worked before.

Well, I'll c ya guys laters!

[ Edit ]
I'm feeling a little better than before. I'm still a little down, but not as badly.
I just noticed something, it's 5-5-05! All 5's! Yays!

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Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Let me explain better
Today was Parris' birthday. I got him a gift card to Sam Goody (a CD/DVD/it has some mangas store). After 2nd period I usually see him so I gave it to him then. When I came up to him after school to say happy birthday he said he liked it and I'm glad ^_^

Like I said in my subject, I've gotta explain better. I dont want any of you guys to think I'm like obsessed with him or something or am mortally depressed. I'm kinda down, but not depressed. I was thinking about the false hope thing and I think I've found a way to explain better.

Parris was my main motivation for getting up every morning and going to school. I mean, yeah friends are great, but he was the main reason. Like after long breaks from school most people dread to go back, but I would actually look forward to it because he'd be there. We went out a little last year and never really broke up over summer so when summer break ended I actually wanted to go back somewhat to see him. I guess that's why I didn't want to give up my false hope of us getting back together. I would still have a big reason to go to school. Now that I know it's over it's not that I'll start skipping school or being sad all the time, I just wont feel as motivated. I'm gonna miss that feeling a lot, but I have to admit, I'm gonna miss hanging with Parris even more.

Today was pretty fun though. In gym we played softball and I batted twice and both times I hit it and made it home! Yays! We lost (actually we won, but we also had 1 more time to bat than the other team so it didn't count), but it wasn't my fault!

We had two substitutes, a test, and watched two movies today. It was ok I guess rather than all the Parris stuff ^^

Thanx for checking out my fanart! I should try drawing more often huh?

Anyway, I'm on my sister's laptop because our downstairs computer is being stupid. I don't want to stay on too long before the internet connection breaks. Laters!

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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Tired!
I didn't get like any sleep for the past two days. On Sunday, I got in bed late because I was distracted writing my fiction and then when I got in bed, my little sisters started like trying to hang out and play around in my room. Then, yesterday, my sister got Confirmed at church (we're Catholic) so we were out until late. After it finished we went to Olive Gardens! Yummy yummy! Then, I had to do my homework (more like scribble down some numbers on the worksheet to make it look like I did it). I got in bed at like 11:30 and fell right asleep unlike usual (most of the time I stay up thinking).

Today was pretty normal. I think I'm starting to get over Parris which in a way, I think is bad. I guess realizing yesterday that we're not getting back together helped me. I guess I just had false hope before. Sucks that I spent a month and a half on only false hope. I can't completely shove him out of my mind though, especially when his lockers somewhat by mine. Everytime he leaves a class, I'm going to it (we have no classes together, but he has first period science and I have it 2nd, so I always see him on my way there. It's like that with like every class!). I don't care that much, but... I dont know!

Well today was pretty fun. Science we hung out, math we hung out in the computer lab, band is always stupid, language arts we just read, health was normal, in history Kurt and I just messed with each other. He knows I hate the sound of really loud knuckle-cracking and he does it anyway. I know he hates it when I use his chair as a footrest, but I do it anyway, so we're even ^^

I submitted a new fanart! I only wanted it to be a doodle so I drew it on notebook paper, but it ended up looking really good!

Well, enough of my blabbing! Laters!

P.S. (To Sw33tz) I'm glad I could help you Dany when things were getting hard for you. I know how it feels to get hurt by a guy so I just wanted to be there for you. I'm glad everythings better *hugs*

[ Edit ]
I decided to try to get on MSN Messenger more often so if any of you guys have a screenname, leave it in your comment!

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Monday, May 2, 2005

Hey
I just don't feel so much in a posting mood. I'm tired and not really in the best mood. Today I started off in an ok mood, but it just progressed worse and worse.

In gym, we picked teams for softball and I'm just on a team full of 6th graders who started arguing like in 2 minutes. I was like, "No matter what, we're going to have to be on the same team so we might as well try to get along." Then one started saying how he was al smart because he's in gifted track. I'm in gifted track and I can get along with people too, so ha! ^^

After that, today was just pretty boring/stupid and seeing Parris like everytime I turned a corner didn't really help.

I just feel really emotionally and physically drained right now. It's just hit me like a ton of bricks that not only are Parris and I broken up, but he probably couldn't care less about me. His birthdays coming up too. It's on Wednesday!! Let's see what happens!

I also submitted some fan art. It's not up yet, but it will soon!

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Sunday, May 1, 2005

Hello
Haruko Fan Club welcomes BlackChinaDoll!

I didn't post or visit today I know. I didn't post because I usually post at night on weekends so people have more time to read them. Here, at 11 pm it's tomorrow, but I was so tired I didn't even stay up that late. I didn't comment because my sisters were either on the computer or it wouldn't turn on. I finally got it to work though.

I told you guys I was gonna go to the talent show Friday night. It was really fun! Some people weren't really that talented, but some were. My friends were in it so I had to give them support! They all did pretty well. One weird thing happened though. I have this good friend Molly. She's pretty shy when it comes to the guys. Not really much of a boyfriend person. Then I come to the talent show to hear she's going out with Andrew B. He's like one of those class clown people. He's not mean or a jerk or anything, but he is not the person I'd think Molly'd be with. I mean, he lives like a block from me and is always messing around on the bus. He can be funny, but no one's gonna let Molly live this down. He's not the boyfriend type I guess. I dont know. It's just really weird 0.o

After the talent show while waiting for my ride, I saw Parris. He was standing alone and this was probably the first time I've seen him alone since we broke up. I should've gone and talked to him while I could. When I finally gained the courage, our ride came. Now, I'm gonna regret it. While I was driving away, he smiled at me. It's hard to explain the look he gave me. Now, I don't know if he misses me or not. Before I didn't think so at all, but by how he looked at me... I dont know!! This is just really weird too 0.o

Well, Ghost in the Shell and FullMetal Alchemist were so sad!! I cried during both. In FMA (spoilers ahead so skip the rest of this paragraph if you don't want GITS and FMA ruined for ya!) Maes Hughes! I've always loved him. I always thought it was sweet how Al and Ed were there when his daughter was born and how they showed her growing up by how much he talked about her, but now he's gone!! So sad! I cried and then I cried again when the Tachikomas sacrificed for Batou!! So sad!! Then, Kusanagi! More sadness!!

Well, I'm gonna visit everyone whos posted so far and visit as much as I can in the morning! Laters everyone!

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Friday, April 29, 2005

He's a Walkie Talkie Man!
Sorry, I was just listening to that song! Luvin it!

Todays been the awesomeness! Most of the class was gone either for choir or jazz band stuff so we didn't do anything all day. In math we just played group trivia which we won! In science we watched Flubber which we somehow tied into our curriculum because the guy is a scientist! In gym, we just got to go outside and socialize since they were using the actual gym to set up for the talent show tonight. It was freezing cold, but I had fun. In language arts, we got to play cards and in health, Mr. Urbas was the only teacher who gave us work. We had a test -__- We got to skip all of history to go see the talent show preview. It was funny and really good.

Yeah, today I didn't get my usual joking around with Kurt and since Liz is in jazz band I couldn't hang out with her, but Parris is also in jazz band. They went on this tour thing and were gone all day. Without him around, I never even thought about him once. Yays!

Well, all I'm gonna say is that my days been really good and I'm going to the talent show tonight which is gonna be awesome too! After hanging out all day I'm gonna go to the talent show and hang out some more! Yays! I hope you guys had a pretty good day too! Laters!

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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Can't think of a subject!
Today was pretty good. We got 3 test scores back and I got A's in both! In one, I got a perfect and the other I missed two! I feel so smart. Too bad the topic we're going over now in math has got me completely duped! (Who says duped in normal conversation rather than me??)

Lets see... what happened today? Well, in health I just sat and moped about, taking the one class I don't really have to do anything to sort out everything that's been troubling me lately. After doing that, I was perky and peppy as ever for 6th period which was pretty fun. Mr. Pool was trying to grade our tests so after doing a little worksheet we got the rest of the class to socialize. I helped Kurt and Liz do theirs and they helped me, so we finished pretty quick. Then, we all just kidded around. Kurt kept on messing with his pen making all these annoying sounds. After finishing that, he started cracking his knuckles and popping them and stuff which made all these weird noises and grossed me out. When he figured out it was bothering me, he kept at it anyway. He's such a loser, but I have to admit, he's pretty fun.

Yesterday I had this religion class thing. Afterwards, we all just went on the jungle gym and played tag and stuff which was awesome! I felt like a little kid again. Then on the way home, we stopped at Best Buy so I could finally get Final Fantasy 7, but they didn't have it. Instead, my mom got me an iPod! Yays! It's blue! ^^

Well, I'm gonna leave before this post gets too long. I'm trying to listen to all your nice comments. I know you're right, but it's harder than you think. Parris is probably one of the nicest guys ever. Everyone luvs him! It's just that he's too much of a flirt, when we were dating, and now. He doesn't really completely ignore me, I'm just kinda bummed we're not friends anymore. I'm gonna try to cheer up like you guys said! Laters!

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

*Sigh*
I'm just really down today. I'm glad I changed my theme. The Springy stuff wasn't good for the mood I've been in lately.

Let me tell you guys some reasons why I'm a little on the blue side.

Well, my ex-bf (Parris is his name) is totally over me. I see him flirting with girls all the time, including the girl I told you guys about before. That really slutty girl, Gabby. Like every guy likes her. She's not even that pretty. It's just that since she's always flirting with every guy and acting like a slut, so they like her. Not only was it a little because of her that we broke up, but he's still flirting with her afterwards. Not only that, but there's only a few other guys in my class that I can really consider friends. I have to admit, even though Kurt's an idiot, he's pretty cool. I know he would actually care if I was really down. Well, yesterday he and some other guys were talking and they started teasing him because he said he likes this one girl, Kaitlyn, the best friend/lackey of Gabby's. They're both pretty much sluts, but Kaitlyn might actually be worse. I mean, the only thing that's worse than being Gabby is wanting to be Gabby and that's what Kaitlyn is, a Gabby-wannabe! It just makes me so mad that while I'm still not completely over Parris, he likes and flirts with the school slut and my other guy friends like her and her posse too!!

The other reason I'm mad is because even after I wrote that note to Parris saying about how we should still be friends, he acts like I dont exist. It really makes me mad that after knowing each other for almost two years and going out for a lot of that time, he doesn't think of me even as a real friend. I thought we were close, but I guess he only saw me as a pretty face. Oh well.

Today was pretty fun though. In science, we got to play with matches and shoot bottles into the air. We like pumped up these bottles so that the pressure inside them was so high that if you unscrewed the top off a little, it would shoot up into the air. Once, these two guys shot out the bottle while it had water in it and everyone around got soaked. Then, this one boy shot of his by mistake and hit this one loser in my class right in the head. I felt bad for him, but I couldnt help but laugh ^^ I'm so evil! ^_^

In band we had a test which I got a perfect! I also got a perfect on my math test that we got back! We had a history test which I think I did pretty well on too! Yays!

Well, I'll c ya guys laters! Dont wanna drag on this post! Byes! *hugs* Thanx for leaving all the nice comments yesterday too!

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

New theme
I'm changing my theme. As of now, it's the same old one, but I'll be changing it. If you come right after I post, you'll be seeing the happy Spring one and if you come more on the later side, you'll be seeing my less happy theme. Yesterday I was in a bad mood. Nothing went right that day. Maybe I dont feel perfect again, but I'm not as angry. I'm still gonna go for a less bright and happy theme though, not black death or something, but less bright and happy. I just dont feel perky enough for such a perky theme. I got a lot of comments about how much you guys like the music. Dont worry, I'm not changing that. Maybe after a while (to another song, but still by Vanessa Carlton, my new fav singer. Why wouldn't I luv her? All Vanessa's rock!!), but not now.

My day... was pretty good I guess. Nothing big. I'm still somewhat mad at some of the stupid guys in my class, but overall, I'm pretty good. It's been rainy lately. Maybe my bad attitude is affecting the weather. ^^ Today my goal is to finish outlining and shading this picture I drew a while ago so I can submit it for you guys! Hope I can get that done.

Better get started on my theme! Laters!

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Monday, April 25, 2005

Horrible day...
Fruits Fans new affiliates: THAT and Hyuuga Clan!

Todays been pretty bad. Usually, school in general has been pretty bad. I used to have at least something to look forward to when getting on the bus every morning, but now, it's just negative stuff. Even my friends aren't that much of a help lately. It didn't make me feel any better that today I realized that that loser Josh kid from band is gonna stay at first chair. Now, I'm stuck with music I should be playing back in the beginning of last year. I hate band even more now. The one thing I'm good at is the clarinet, but I cant even do that now.

So many bad stuff happened today, I'm not even gonna get into it. All I've gotta say is that every guy I know is a loser and so is every guy at my school. Thats my closing statement! Laters!

P.S. I'm gonna change my theme. Something darker (I'm not going goth or anything). This Springish stuff doesn't show my personality at all.

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