myOtaku.com: bebopinutrigun188

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-02-18
Gender
• Female
Location
• illinois, usa
Member Since
• 2004-07-01
Real Name
• vanessa

Personal

Achievements
• finding myOtaku
Anime Fan Since
• 4th grade
Favorite Anime
• cowboy bebop, trigun, miyazaki films
Goals
• make you remember me

myOtaku.com: bebopinutrigun188

Saturday, January 7, 2006

This has probably been one of the worst weeks of my life. At least since school's started back up. First off, like I said, school started. Wednesday wasn't too bad. It was actually good. I had jazz band practice and I got to hang out with Parris which was really fun as always and then I had religion class that evening which because of my luck, happened to start right in the middle of one of our MSN conversations.

Thursday was where I started feeling down. We had high school talks and even though I'll probably be going to boarding school, I went and for the rest of the day everyone was talking about high school and what they're going to be doing while I'm far away in a different part of the country. It was kinda depressing.

Oh yeah, after school I was talking on AIM with Parris and he pretty much confessed all these feelings for me and how he was depressed that we broke up. It kinda depressed me too just because it was all because of just me.

Friday was the worst day of them all though. Well, Parris avoided me because of his little outburst Thursday night. I got on AIM and I was complaining to Zack (both my friend and Parris' friend) about how Parris annoys me more than anyone else because he lies to me so much. Then Zack asked if he could tell Parris and I said yes, just because I was pissed. Then Parris started confronting me about all this stuff, even though I didn't even get to finish my statement. I really meant to say is that Parris annoys me so much because he lies to me so much, but at the same time I still care about him and what he thinks about me more than pretty much anyone in the world. It's not that I'm madly in love with him or anything, I just... it's hard to explain.

Anyway, I realized that Parris was right. He called me a horrible girlfriend and that I should've tried harder instead of just breaking up with him. Also, I supposedly only remember things convenient for me and that it was pretty much my fault we broke up. It's because of the way I never really tell people how I feel. I was talking about it in the last post. I always just get angry all of a sudden because it's too much for me to handle while trying to bottle it all up. I understand now why he hates me as of today. Even though Parris hates me, I can't bring myself to hate him back. It just makes me sad that someone I was really close to even with everything we've gone through for the past 3 years, completely hates me now just because of one stupid comment. We ended up arguing for a long time and now we're no longer friends. If only this were t.v., then we'd be made up by tomorrow. I doubt it'll work that way this time.

Anyway, I've cried my tears and I'm getting over it. I can only stay sad or angry for a little while. Sorry for the long post and not visiting. If you couldn't tell, this has been a hectic week. Laters

P.S. I think I might change the theme not only because I'm obviously not in the mood for a happy jolly theme and just because I'm in the mood to.

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