Sunday, December 16, 2007

1) I'm in the process of writing a DBSK fic. DamnitdamnitDAMNIT. I knew this was inevitable at my current point-of-no-return, but I wasn't planning to even start brainstorming fic plots until winter break. And then a plot bunny broke into my head, and is apparently residing there until I finish writing this damn thing.

Two firsts with this one: 1) It's RPS. *headdesking*

2) It's written in second-person, which I once thought was an awkward and ugly way to write any story, but it's somehow grown on me recently.

And it was inspired partly by freaking Great Expectations of all things, specifically something my freshman Lit teacher once said to the class in relation to the book, "People get their hearts broken, and ten years down the road, they greet their ex with a shrug and a ‘hey.’ It’s unremarkable, but it’s life."

You are surprised at how easily the two of you fall back into old rhythms and patterns, despite the miles and years of separation. You say things just to make the other laugh and Yunho laughs often; he lets you talk over him when you get wrapped up in a particular topic; he becomes irrationally upset when you sneak snapshots of him mid-sneeze, but always has fun wrestling you for the camera. You talk and sing and reminisce and laugh and simply enjoy the other’s presence, until the sidewalks are empty and the absence of sunlight makes you shiver. When the sun gives out and dips past the horizon, Yunho doesn’t know how to say goodbye, opts to worriedly glance at his wristwatch instead, and you can sense his concern for his wife in each of his increasingly strained responses.

In the pauses between the short, desperate breaths of dying conversation, you sum up the total of the day’s events in your head and admit what you already knew all too well: that the man beside you, for all his unchanged habits and idealism and tenderness, is not quite the bandmate and best friend you once loved; that you yourself are not the eager, determined young celebrity who wished merely to sing and perform, and nestled closely to your leader for warmth on the nights when you felt very, very cold. Not the same, not entirely, not anymore.

I'm sort of wangsting over my writing, the intensity of it depending on which part of the fic I'm editing. There are sections where it's clear that I've improved a lot since I last wrote fic, and other sections where I just keep thinking my writing is boring and needlessly abstract. Blah. I should really stop doing this to myself. It's so difficult for me to write one-shots that are even only two pages long, since I agonize over every little word. I mean, really, it's just fanfiction. :/

EDIT: I just realized that I officially ship YunJae. DAMNIT.

EDIT 2: APPARENTLY, I AM FOND OF RUN-ON SENTENCES.

EDIT 3: HOW IS UNTARNISHABLE NOT A WORD? WTF.

2) I find it funny that Jaejoong is so aware of his own fandom that he recognizes the title of, and has possibly even read a well-known hardcore BL fic involving him and Yunho. Jae, you are a weirdo. <3

3) HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNSU. Enjoy the Gucci products your fanclub gave you as a b-day gift, you lucky bastard.
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