Monday, July 17, 2006

Taken from the "A Course in Bad Fanfiction" humor article I'm currently writing:

Let's use another Naruto example to demonstrate what happens when the dominant and submissive halves of the relationship aren't clearly defined:

"Are you an idiot?" Sasuke yelled, grabbing Naruto by the shoulders. Naruto winced at the tightness of his grip. "Don't run into a horde of enemies if all you can do is swing your fists around like a moron! Just watch from the sidelines if you're that much of a bother!"

Naruto glared at the other boy, and smacked his hands off his shoulders, "Hey, asshole, you aren't my sensei, so don't boss me around!"

"I'm just saying you should think a little sometimes," Sasuke's voice grew louder with each word, "So I won't have to rescue you during each and every damn mission!"

"I never asked you to help me! And I don't need it either! Don't be so full yourself, jerk!"

As you can see, there is ZERO potential for cute love scenes between the two as things stand, and what's the point if it's not cute? So, we'll tweak things around a bit:

"Are you an idiot?" Sasuke yelled, grabbing Naruto by the shoulders. Naruto winced at the tightness of his grip. "Don't run into a horde of enemies if all you can do is swing your fists around like a moron! Just watch from the sidelines if you're that much of a bother!"

Naruto stared at Sasuke with wide eyes, before apologetically averting his gaze to the ground. "You're right. I'm completely useless, aren't I? I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He bit his bottom lip, fighting back the tears welling up in his eyes.

Sasuke eyes softened at the sight. He pulled the blond-haired boy into a tight embrace, and a blush immediately rose to Naruto's cheeks.

"No, I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke said softly, lovingly, "I should have never said something that horrible to you."

Naruto buried his face into the other boy's shoulder, "I try so hard to be useful to you, but I can't do anything. I'm sorry."

"Shh. It's okay, Naruto. It's okay."

See? Naruto is changed to become a more submissive character, while Sasuke is written as a gentle dominant half. These changes are perfectly acceptable, necessary even, as there is now the possibility of many cute situations between the two, and cuteness is everything in romantic fanfiction!

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*cackling*

My bad slash fanfiction is the best thing EVER.
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