Monday, July 5, 2004

   Self-control? What's that?
I had been trying to avoid signing up for new RPGs. Really, I had. I wanted to save my creative energies for the reworking of my book. But, with such good RPGs coming out with such good people behind them, who am I to say "no"?

I loved the first Kill Adam. The Chapter System is definitely something I liked, technically speaking. The story was great, with an incredible amount of work behind it. The whole RPG, as has been said, was revolutionary on Otakuboards.

And I would know. ~_^

*flaunts rarely-noticed Oldie status*

Yep, I was doing RPGs back when they were in the Games and Stories section.

*THWAP*

Right, Kill Adam. Revolutionary stuff. I look forward to signing up for the second one. I just have one issue troubling me. Do I do what is expected, and go with Hattori Hanzo, the male character?

Or....

Do I sign-up as "The Daughter", and enter a world that I know little about? :p

Such is my dilemma.

I also plan on signing up for Shy's hero. I love the idea he has for designating the characters' superpowers. Based on the sign-ups people give, he will assign their powers.

"Their powers will tie directly into their internal and external struggles."

I think that is one of the cooler ideas I've heard of. :D

So, yes, a sign-up for that is forthcoming. I just want to know more about the 1960s before I design a character that lives in that time. >_>;;

Another RPG that caught my eye was Justin's Blood Debt. It doesn't seem terribly complicated, but that's one of the reason's I look forward to it. I've always had a thing for "Greco-Romanness", as Justin puts it. And I like Justin, besides. He's a good guy. ~_^

I had considered signing up for Tony's Torment, but, again, I didn't want to get bogged down. And, horror isn't really my genre. It'd be fun to dabble, but...eh. I need to get moving on W.H.A.T.E.*

I've been waiting for an opportunity to go to the library to take out some books for research. I'd like to know a bit more about medieval tactics and strategy. I know the components; men, horses, castles, weaponry, and such. But, the most experience I've had with them is what other people have written in their own stories.

Once I've studied up on that, I can try to figure out how to mesh it with space-age technology. ^_^;;


I've got to go now. My dad called a little while ago from the golf course (where he works for the moment) and they need some carts put away. Heh, golf carts are fun to drive! :D

After that, my mom is dragging me to the mall for shorts. =/

It's not that I don't need shorts; I just don't really like shopping with my mom and siblings. But then again, who does? :p

See you later, alligator.

*W.H.A.T.E. = When Humans are the Enemy.
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Friday, July 2, 2004

*shakes head* Some people...
jeux sots: Will you tell me what you think of this bio?
legoboy1 Sure.
jeux sots:
Born in the heart of Houston, Hayden Hemmingway was born into a life of privilege. With privilege, however, comes consequences. Hayden’s parents were rich, yes, but they were dirty in how they got their money. Hayden’s father had been running an underground hit man business, specializing in getting rid of spouses. And getting paid over $100,000 to do so. After having a child, Hayden’s mother tried to stay as subtle with the organization as she could. This didn’t keep Hayden from being on the scene.

When he was old enough to walk, Hayden’s dad, always called "King" by his customers and employees, had his son by his side when he had meetings with potential clients. Thus, Hayden learned from an early age how to wheel and deal. At least in the killing business. Hayden never took a potential liking to the business, which he was supposed to inherit when King died, but he never despised it.

On the very day he turned ten, the Hemmingway name was damaged when King was busted. Hayden watched as cops swarmed the place, taking all employees and the customer into custody, including his father. Hayden heard two simple words and followed directions: Run Hayden, run! He never ran that fast in his life.

He ran to his mother, who wept for her husband, but also for her son who had to witness it. King was sentenced to life in prison and was charged with multiple murders. His employees received a minimum of fifty years. The customer had ten years.

Hayden never hated his father, he had a love for him. He respected his business although he would never agree with it. He knew there was no chance of his father getting out of jail, so he sunk into depression. His grades dropped and he began getting into fights. He was unusually strong for his size. He was 5’9" but could take on more than thirty pounds easily. Thus, he never lost a fight.

He excelled in art in school, showing talent in painting. His teachers worried about his other classes and struggled to help him, but there was nothing they could do. Hayden would never return to school. At fifteen, he ran away, not wanting to live in Houston anymore. He ran to Dallas, where he served as a bartender at The Alamo, a rundown place where drunks seemed to hover. He didn’t lose fights here, either.

He lived in a small apartment above the bar and continued painting. For four years, he was the best bartender the bar had ever seen. And the most murderous. One day, during his last year staying in Dallas, three men in black ski masks ran into the bar, waving guns in the air. Hayden pulled a knife he kept in his boot out and quickly slashed two of the men’s throats, before stabbing the other one in the abdomen. He left them to bleed to death and was on his way to Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

For the next ten years, he was an hired assassin, trying to follow in his father’s steps. Though he had never taken interest in the business, he felt it was the only way to live his life now that he had become a murderer. Once a murderer, always a murderer.

Since then, he’s returned to Houston, and has stayed anonymous. His mother gave him the money she had been saving for more than ten years, so he doesn’t have to work. He lives in a lavish loft in downtown Houston, and has a different girl every week
legoboy1 "Hayden heard two simple words and followed directions: Run Hayden, run!"
legoboy1 That's three words.
legoboy1 Two different ones, true, but still three words.
jeux sots: Oh yeah, knew that.
legoboy1 Did his father only have one employee?
jeux sots: No.
legoboy1 Oh, my bad. I missed the "s"
legoboy1 :p
jeux sots:
legoboy1 "He was 5’9" but could take on more than thirty pounds easily." This part doesn't seem to sit too well.
legoboy1 Maybe you meant he could take on someone thirty pounds heavier/bigger than him?
jeux sots: Yeah. ^_^;;
legoboy1 I'm just nitpicking here, but it seems a little unlikely that he could pull a knife out of his boot; a knife with a six inch blade, max, and kill three guys. I mean, how likely is it that they'd march right up against the bar to let him do that, anyway?
jeux sots: Who said he didn't get out from behind the bar?
legoboy1 Bartenders are usually behind the bar, aren't they?
jeux sots: Yeah, but he can get out from behind the bar. He's not restricted.
legoboy1 I know that.
legoboy1 You're the one who left it out. :-P
jeux sots: I didn't leave it out; it's basically common sense.
legoboy1 Bartenders usually tend to the bar. Don't they?
jeux sots: Yeah, but when someone's going to fight, they can move, you know.
legoboy1 I know. >_<
legoboy1 What I'm saying is, when I picture a bartender, I see a guy. Behind the bar.
legoboy1 Where you generally see bartenders. >_>;;
jeux sots: Yeah, but when I see three men coming into the bar, I see him jumping over the bar.
legoboy1 Great, write it in.
jeux sots: I'll leave it to common sense of others.
legoboy1 *falls over, anime-style*
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   Update. w00t!
I'm losing the will to post in here, it seems. =\ That stinks. I like to write here, but I won't if I don't feel like it. :p

Yeah, okay. Moving onward.

I went to see Spiderman...that night. Wednesday, maybe? *checks* Wednesday morning, early, early, early. Wow. It has been a while. Spiderman 2 was a good movie. ^_^ There were some sentimental moments I didn't care too much for, but the scenes with Doc Ock more than made up for it. Doc Ock just stole the show for me. Eric and I were both pointing out just how awesome he was throughout the entire movie. Even before he turned into the badguy (when he didn't have the mechanical arms), he was a cool guy.

What I also enjoyed about the movie was how unfortunate Peter Parker's life was. He's late to work and classes; he's having financial troubles; he doesn't have time to do his homework; and he can't ever get the last hors doeuvre. :p

So, all in all, it was a good movie.

Wednesday was rather uneventful, most likely. My days have been one big messed up sleep cycle lately. I'm either asleep, or waiting to go to sleep, it seems. I'd really like to change that and actually have something to write about in here.

I went to play laser tag yesterday with Eric, Majewski, Stevo, and their friend Jeff (a.k.a. Albino Rhino).

My sister invited her friend Tori to come along, too. I was stuck with those two for the first game, and our team got annihilated. I came in fifth out of the eight people playing. Majewski and I didn't stand a chance with Jess and Tori on our team.

We played a second game with a bunch of people from Massachusetts. They split up, as did we. Eric, Steve, Jess, and Tori went on one team, and me, Majewski, and Jeff went on the other. It was so much easier with the Massachusetts people there. Not only did they absorb much of the accuracy that Steve and Eric possessed, there were a bunch of clueless girls on the opposing team that made easy pickings for me and Majewski.

Majewski took first place, and I took second. Of the fifteen people who were playing. ^_^

I headed over to Steve's GLP (Groton Long Point) house to watch some TV and eat some pizza. It's just his family's summer home, but it's huge. It is bigger than my house, and that doesn't include the second building that's supposed to come with the property. ;p

My sister picked Eric and I up from there. She dropped Eric at home, and then we dropped Tori off. We got home 11:30-ish.

I, naturally, stayed up until the wee hours of the morning. >=\

Last night was one of those nights that I didn't particularly mind doing so, however. I was in a fun OB chat that kept me entertained throughout the night. Rather than, say, lying awake at night worrying about not sleeping. >_>;;

It's almost ten now. Time to try some Ambien. My mom prescribed some for me on the spot last night. She grabbed my dad's prescription bottle and handed me one of the tiny pills. It worked much, much better than the "sleeping aid" I had tried before. This one actually made me feel tired, you see. :p

I'd like to get up for the Toys R Us Yu-Gi-Oh tournament tomorrow, so the earlier I head off the better.

Au revoir, mes amis. :)
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

   Just some stuff.
"Funny, I don't remember having an amnesia problem." - Me. :p

"So, Doreen, how are things in the world of mammograms?" -somebody at a party.

"Oh, I'm sure she's keeping abreast of things." - My dad's witty interjection. :)

Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.


Random quiz I took.

"We're going to see the midnight showing of Spiderman 2." - My friend Eric.

"So, will that be the nightly price, or matinee?" - my response. ;p


I may be going to see Spiderman 2 tonight. It seems pretty hypocritical of me to say how awful it is to be up all night, and then go to see a midnight showing of a movie. ;p

Who knows, though? It might just help me get to sleep. *shrug*
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   Why?
Why can't I just sleep?

It's 2:50 AM. I've stayed up later than this in the past week or so, but in the past few days I'd done better.

I'd lain (laid?) in bed for the past two or three hours. Sleep did not come for me. I don't know what it is. I just don't get it. WHY CAN'T I JUST GO TO SLEEP?!

I feel like I could cry. But I don't; I won't. I don't even know if I can, at this present time. I'd like to, if only for some sort of release.

I feel tired, but at the same time, I feel like I could not be tired.. It's an odd feeling. I am physically tired, but I feel as if I could stay up until the sun rises. And I could do so, if only to do that one thing; to watch the sun rise.

Oh, everything just seems so awful now. Alone, in the dark. My thoughts are odd. Sometimes they are linear, going from thought to thought, and other times there's nothing. I'm just empty of ideas for a moment. Shouldn't sleep take me then?

I wish I could understand this, and make it right.
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Saturday, June 26, 2004

d00t

The Oracle Advises...

being with SHS friends

Ask the Oracle a Question

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (52%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (62%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

See that? I have 114% of a brain. ~_^

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I took the second-to-most accurate version of the test. I would have taken the 45 question one, but I simply don't have time to. I'm late for bed as it is.
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Friday, June 25, 2004

Meh

:: how jedi are you? ::
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Anxious.


Something is making me uneasy, and I don't quite know what it is. This is rather bothersome. =\

I think I've gotten into a bad mindset as far as sleep is concerned. It seems like I've gotten the idea into my head that 3:00 or so isn't a bad bedtime to have, and that getting up at 1:00 each afternoon is good.

Which it's not.

I want to get to bed at a reasonable hour so that I can get up at a reasonable hour. I'm tired of spending half of my waking hours when nobody else here is awake. v_v When I get up at 8 or 9, the day seems to be so much longer, and it's great.

As soon as I'm done with this post, I'm off to bed. It's 12:53 now. Time me. :p

Hey, hey! I'm going to recount my day! :p

(My mom just walked in and said: "It's late, go to bed." :p)

My dad woke me up around 1:00 this afternoon. He was dropping my brother off at my grandparents' house, then visiting my mom, and then going to an appointment. He informed me that my younger sister was napping in her room.

I went downstairs into his room, which is air-conditioned, and popped in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It was an interesting movie, and I hadn't seen it in a while.

After that was over, I put in The Scorpion King which had been in the disk tray when I was putting in LXG. I had only intended on watching the better parts, but I wound up watching the whole movie. :p

My dad walked in just as it ended, and I scooted upstairs. My internet connection had been acting up recently, and I had hoped that it would be good today. Sadly, it was not to be. The darn thing kept randomly dying on me. =|

So, I decided to go for a walk. Walks generally let me get thinking done, and with the anxiety I was feeling, I thought some thinking was needed. Walks had also been good for stress relief for me.

It was warm out, and I was wearing pants, so I was sweating by the time I had gotten a third of the way on my walk. When I sweat, it's generally a good deal of moisture that collects around my nose and eyes. I kept blowing drops from my nose, and gingerly wiping the salty drops from my eyebrows. I've often considered taking a towel or a facecloth along with me on walks. >_>

I saw a few people I knew, as I often did when I went walking. They were all in cars speeding by, though, so conversation was a bit difficult.

When I got home, I shook my dad and informed him that I was home. He grunted, and so I headed upstairs to my room. I played my Yu-Gi-Oh PC game for a little while, and chatted with a few people on AIM.

Then my connection died and I decided to go downstairs for a little while. Nobody was there. o_o;;

I figured that they had gone down to my grandparents' house to pick up my littler brother, and that they would be back soon. So, I went to my parents room to play Max Payne 2.

I was about 3/4 of the way through the game by the time I started playing today, and with the time I had alone this evening, I beat the game. :D It only took me two tries to defeat the final boss; one to get a better idea of what I was supposed to do, and one to do it.

After that, I called up my dad to tell him the news and ask him where everybody was. I was instantly forwarded to his voicemail box. (As it turned out, his phone isn't working and he's getting it replaced tomorrow.)

So, since I couldn't get ahold of him, I went back to his room and started watching Kill Bill. ^___^

Before I could get too far, though, my family returned and I was ousted from the computer. I spent the next couple of hours on the computer in my room, talking on AIM and wandering aimlessly about the Internet.


Expect an update later today about other things I've done recently. But for now, I must get to bed. :p

1:09 AM. End.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The subject is just a little something I was told yesterday (Monday) evening after a meeting. The meeting was...

I'm still not quite sure what the meeting was supposed to be all about. I thought that it was a question and answer session that would explain to youth group members and parents why the youth group was disbanded. The adults that were there, however, wanted to have nothing to do with that. They had already gotten over the fact that the group is gone, and they wanted to start planning for the next group. Their idea of the meeting was to get ideas for the new group.

That didn't go over too well with my aunt and sister. Nor with the other two youths present.

I just sort of sat back and let things unfold. Things like crying, accusations, interruptions, talking over people, lies, misconceptions.

And basically, disrespect.

One of the major reasons that were provided for the youth group being disbanded was a lack of respect. For elderly, for property, and for ourselves.

The adults at that meeting showed the same lack of respect for us that they claimed to have seen from all of us.

Okay. I think that's about as far as I can go on that subject. Let me just say that the meeting was not at all productive. Nothing got accomplished except for each side getting a better idea of how the other feels.

Adults versus Youths in the matter of the Youth Ministry: Round One Complete

I just can't continue on that subject; sorry.

*sigh* But what else is there for me to talk about? All this summer has revolved around those events, particularly since they directly affect my family.

My letter/essay/comparison thing has got no further work done on it. I need to talk to my mom still about her various roles in the Church and school community. After that things should be easier. I'd like to have it done by tomorrow night; for our last Youth Group Drop-In night. Perhaps I could leave it on the D.R.E.'s desk. :D

(D.R.E. = Director of Religious Education)

I don't want to say that that goal is unrealistic, but it could be. In terms of speed and content, I could easily get it done by then. In terms of actual drive to get it done, that's a little shaky. I'll just have to see what I'm feeling tomorrow.

Having gotten way away from the quote in the subject, let me just drag this back to that. After the meeting, I had been talking with a few of the less rigid adults that were there. I was commenting on how the youths needed people like my sister; people who would speak up and say their minds; people who would talk over adults in order to grind their point in, whether it be a good one or not.

I had said that I regretted not having said more at the meeting; for not having represented the youth as much as I could have.

One of the women there pointed out to me that people tended to zone my sister out when she overrode what they were saying, and that whenever I came out of my silent reverie to say something, people listened. They knew that I must have had a point, she said, while Jess just wouldn't shut up.

"They know that you're holding aces, Ben. And when you speak up, they know what you say will matter."

That made me feel a bit better.

I still feel like walking, or hitting something. I need something to let out all this pent-up stress. >.>

I wish there was something more cheerful for me to discuss. :( Suggestions welcome; maybe something I've talked happily about in the past.
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Monday, June 21, 2004

Fuel for the fire.
In today's church bulletin, there was a small article about the Kreislers, a Navy family that moved here to CT about 8 years ago. The article reflected on everything that the Kreislers have done for the church and school community over the past eight years, and wished them "A Fond, but Sad Farewell."

My family has been at that church for years ranging between five and thirty-nine. My younger brother Michael started going to Church regularly about five years ago, when he was six. My mom has been going to Sacred Heart for thirty-nine years. Myself, I've been going for 15 years; my entire life.

Nowhere did it mention that my father isn't getting his job back. Nowhere did it mention that my mom was being asked not to be a part of the youth group anymore; that we were being disbanded. There was an article in the bulletin stating that the youth group was not meeting in the summer, and that they would resume in the fall. It did not mention that we were being forced to disband. The way they wrote it made it appear as if we were taking the summer off.

WE'RE NOT! WE'RE BEING SHUT DOWN! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

*ahem*

That article about the Kreislers was what finally got me taking steps about the situation. In a sort of mock copy of the article (entitled "Oh, the Irony.") I'm outlining everything that my family has done for the Church ever since we came to be a family.

I'm also emphasizing how my parents were not bidden a "Fond, but Sad Farewell," rather they were pretty much asked to leave the community the hell alone. >:I

Just about everything they wrote about the Kreislers, I'm going to outdo. Then I'm going to bring in the negative stuff and turn it right back at them. The Kreislers were thanked for their eight years of Mass attendance and community service. What about my mom's thirty-nine? Or my brother's twenty? Things like that will be brought up.

I don't know yet who I will present this to, or even whether I'm going to distribute it to the parishioners, or to Father Greg. Maybe just to close friends and family. We'll just have to see.

Ergh...I don't like what's happened and what is still happening.

I'm getting back to work.

NOTE: I have nothing against the Kreislers; they're great people. I just don't like that fact that they got recognition and thanks for service, while my family got nothing but a kick in the ass.
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