myOtaku.com: Ben

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1988-09-25
Gender
• Male
Location
• Groton, CT
Member Since
• 2003-07-31
Occupation
• Student, Lackey of Doom
Real Name
• Ben

Personal

Achievements
• Wrote a 157 page book and am working on a sequel that is 50+ pages long at the moment.
Anime Fan Since
• Eh...fifth grade, I think.
Favorite Anime
• Digimon Forever! Followed further back by Yu-Gi-Oh.
Goals
• Get my darn book ~~published...~~ REWRITTEN
Hobbies
• Writing, reading, IM'ing
Talents
• Writing and I have a knack for gaming.

myOtaku.com: Ben

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Ben's theory of underlying ego...

If the following sounds depressed or like I'm putting myself down, ignore it. I'm putting things down as I see them, and am in no way emotionally involved. =p

Anyways. It is 10:19 at the moment. I have a 2-3 page paper to write for history, and a thesis statement to develop for English. Both are due tomorrow.

I just got a 2 out of 10 on an online Physics test. My mom returned home from Back to School night not too long ago, and my Physics teacher assured her that he thought that I was in the right class. He believed I could handle Honors Physics. "There was nothing yet" that showed any signs of me not being able to handle the course.

There were a few issues with the quiz that should probably be expounded upon, but I simply do not have the time. Let me see if I can manage to get across my "Theory of Underlying Ego" as it applies to me.

Me. I, myself. I would describe myself as apathetic when it comes to grades. If I get a low grade, I just sort of shrug and hope for better next time. If I get a high grade, then, cool; it balances out the low grade. In the past two years at St. Bernard's, I've gotten Second Honors, I think, every quarter. One quarter I got First Honors, but I think it was a fluke. My average was a couple decimal points off, or something.

Regardless. I've already told you all before; I don't study. Or, at least, I didn't. I was too lazy (or "busy") to go over material that I had already gone over once in class. It hadn't, or hasn't, sunk in that studying will improve my memory of the material. I'm sure it would, but I'm not yet convinced enough to put that surety into actions.

This year, my schedule is as follows:

Honors French IV
Honors Pre-Calculus
Honors English III
Theology III
Psychology
AP U.S. History
Off
Honors Physics

Everything on that schedule, other than Honors Physics, was there by my choice. And even now, I don't believe that I would switch out of that class. Why?

Pride.

I may not being doing quite as well as I could. Conversely, maybe I am.

If I'm not working to my full potential, which is the norm, I can manage a passing grade. Generally higher than that, due to some bizarre natural gift of mine. My grades are nothing to show off, and yet, I won't leave to an easier class to get a better grade; one that I can be proud of.

Why?

Pride. Not pride in the grades, but the pride in the fact that I'm surviving (or have survived) the class. I made it through the challenge. It was a very rough trip, and it shows in some places, but I made it. I passed. I absorbed the knowledge necessary, at least temporarily.

I don't show off my grades, generally. I do, however, point out the number of difficult courses I'm in.

"But Ben, you're not doing too well in them."

Well, that's because they're difficult. I made it in, you didn't. Nyeh to you.

I'm fairly certain that Freshman and Sophomore years, I did not change my schedule at all. I remained in the Honors Courses I was in, I stayed in the CP courses I was in. I went through the harder courses I was qualified for, and coasted through the CP courses I was stuck in.

Though I may fail every class, I do not think that I would switch out. I'd ride the storm to the end.

So....yeah. I ought to work on my homework now.
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