Monday, June 6, 2005

   Another Day
Hm...Got a cool background to my site now, so I'm happy about that...Graduation is coming closer and I don't feel the sadness as much anymore...

Ganymede explained to me her award. I cried so hard when I thought she was going to the marines. *Blush* Geez, I feel SSOOOO STUPID!!!

lol...*smirk*...I totally lost my head then and assumed the worst...

*sigh* Let's see...met my old best friend she was getting cleared. She smelled a bit like pot though, guess she got back into drugs...*sigh* wish I was there for her from the start. She's doing all right though...despite it all...

"Wow, someone must have loved ya lots. Who is she? " She awed at the one-page dedication to me by Ganymede in my year book. *blush*

Ganymede's freshman is not the brightest bulb, but he's someone I don't want hurt and lost. My freshman loves phantom of the opera and can't wait until next year...

Gonna go to school on Tuesday, and going to the beach right after graduation...that's basically it for today...


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Saturday, June 4, 2005

   Good Times, Good Times
A few days ago my friends and I went to the MS3 party and got soaking wet. It was so fun and I had a fun time, especially getting my friends right in the face! ^_^

Afterwards we went down to Ganymede's house to continue our water fun. I laughed so much that I almost drowned! I had to sit on the steps to laugh my guts out. Faye and Koneko were just so hilarious together!!

Ganymede torctured Honey, (Her Ugly Pug. ^_^ ) Honey tried to hide with me several times and I was like, "Ah! You're so stinky! I can't protect you!" lol I love that stupid dog despite all the times she sneezed, flicked boogers at me, or just plain crept me out with her strange snorting sounds.

*Sigh* it was so nice and oddly peaceful...Another memory in the old scrapbook of my mind...
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Monday, May 30, 2005

   Band Performance and Memorial Day
YEah, thought I should post something about band seeing Ganymede had. *Light Chuckle* Yeah, gonna miss it a lot, but I'll be back once in awhile seeing how I'll still be in town.

Our last band practice was a good one. And Ms.J had introduced the seniors giving a little history on them. I was the first one, I stood up and it felt like I was gonna cry when she looked at me and said she was going to miss me. I didn't look at Ganymede even though I could tell she was watching me. If I did I don't know what I would have done, cry a little probably. The last piece we played was a symphonic version of "Pirates of the Caribeans." compared to our marching show of it. It was like all the seniors were on the boat's mast slowly sinking with the ship like Johnny Deep had when the movie started. I choked a bit, but got over it eventually.

It was a wonderful night to remember...

Memorial Day was really relaxing, I had rearranged my room from the night before and it really does look spacious and more light comes in. I woke up in a pleasant mode and started on my Calculus project, half way done. My brother and I cleaned up the house. It was like my typical Saturday routine. My mother had decorated a bit and my dad was working outside.

Things were fine until my mom, or rather my older sisters, decided to throw a party down her house within a few minutes. Despite the undue stress it was a good party. Afterwards the genius, (my little sister) and I played with her new DDR's and dance pad she had received for her birthday a couple days ago.

We laughed so hard acting goofy and laughter really is the music of the soul. ^_^ I love her so much and love laughing with her.

Hm, nothing much except there's been all this talk of Weddings seeing how the friend of my oldest sister is getting married. I'm glad she is. Personally I believe when two people get married, it's like both sides of the family become one big family. I know it's the kinda of belief you'd expect from an idealist, but I still would like to believe so. I'm in no rush in life, I'll find the one for me, (more of the one for Chi! ^_-) when the time is right. Until then, *Italian Accent* Forget about it...
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Monday, May 23, 2005

   Broke My Own Promise
heh...yeah I called Contraband during my sad and lonely lunch period. I was feeling sick and missed the sound of his voice. I promised myself I wou;dn't call him, but I broke it. heh, I usually hate ppl who do that so I guess I'm kicking myself at the moment.

At first I accidentally started talking to Aaron, his older brother who I knew from band. "I really miss you..." lol it was then he told me he was Aaron. *BLUSH!!* Opps...he chuckled a bit and got me Contraband.

I asked for him to just talk to me and he gladly did. I almost started crying on the other end. I miss him so much. He managed to get me to laugh some. And he asked me if I wanted anything that wasn't too expensive.

I choked, my mind shouted, "I want you to be here!" But I told him nothing really...

He promised me he would be here tomorrow and I laughed at him. It wouldn't be the first time he broke his promise to me. He assured me he would even if he broke his two arms. "Well, I don't think I will, but I will be there."

*Sigh* I hope he keeps his promise. I couldn't take it if he broke another promise to me even if it's unintentional.
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Saturday, May 21, 2005

   May 19, 2005
It happened again today, Mrs.Hobbes asked me about my "friend" again. I could feel my face start to grow hot and a stupid smile found its way on my face again.

Man,I always feel like an idiot when I smile that smile he makes me smile. lol a tongue twister, ne? It's one I get with just the mentioning of his name. I almost drop my gaze and I don't know why I get so embarrassed, darn it! Yes, he's important to me and yes, I love him. But things wouldn't work with family unless he became more open with me and my family with him.

He makes me angry sometimes when he isn't here and has no substancual reason to be other than the typical response, "I was sick." Part of me wants to shake him and yell, "WELL SUCK IT UP!!!" I swear sometimes he's such a wuss, but white ppl can't help but be sick for long periods of time. I think of however Joe, Lisa and Ben are when THEY'RE sick and I forgive him...a little...

The other part tries to give him room and understand him, but part is the one who still has hope for him and is constantly waiting outside his door like some kind of lovesick puppy dog waiting for the owner to come through that door at any given moment.

No I haven't called him because I don't want to. That's an obvious lie. lol, I am always want to be with him even when I think I don't want to, but I don't want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with me. Heh strange thoughts and theories of love, ne?

I wonder if he's gonna be able to graduate across stage like Mrs.Hobbes asked me. I wonder if I can invite him to family
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Monday, May 16, 2005

   So far...
I found Alison and had Mrs. Mansfield give her my card, her mom died from Cancer and her dad not so long after from a heart attack. She's attending Garces and is one of the star players in her softball team. I'm glad to read she's pulling through it all.

So! On with life eh? I think today's weather was positively beautiful!! I love it!!

Except the rain made my hair curly, then it puffed up and dried then the wind made it stick up funny. My brother and sister said I looked like that wolf girl from Wolf Rain. (Black hair blue eyed girl, think her name was Blue.) I laughed.

I stayed after school to record my senior thank you. I was the first one to do it and I was so nervous @_@ I did it several times and I laughed a bit with the computer guy. He always seems so miserable...Oh, well, it's good to make ppl laugh. I got it right finally and headed home. Not much has happened today.

OH!! TALKED TO JEZZ ONLINE!! I WAS SO GLAD TO TALK WITH JEZZ!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE THE LAST TIME WE MET!!

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Friday, May 13, 2005

   ON THE SEARCH!!!
Hey! To all of you who might possibly read my site out there. Please tell me if you heard or are Alison Gibbons. Please get to me as soon as possible this is urgent!!

Alison Gibbons was a dear friend of mine in elementary school, I had lost contact with her a long time ago though. *Sadness*

My little sister's teacher asked my big sister if I recognized the name Alison Gibbons. Immediately I saw her face from long ago and I told her yes. Her parents died and she was now an orphan, my second grade teacher is sending her a card and wanted to know if I wanted to send her anything.

I NEED to know what happened. Please if anyone has any information please e-mail me or chat with me at Yahoo! messenger under the name benakittie.

Thank You, this means a lot to me.
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Saturday, May 7, 2005

   Should Start Putting a Subject Instead of Date
Hey! I just finished the EPT/ELM testing at Cal State Bakersfield. @_@ I think I did all right on the essay but better on the multiple choice. The Math was the last part and when I finished I looked up and I was practically the only one left!! (We could leave if we finished early.) I was the last girl, ROCK ON!! Two guys were scatter across the room, but I think the one of the guys finished the same time I did

N-E-Wayz, it was WAY EASIER than the Ap testing I had to take. And I still have one more to go!! AIYA!!!!! @_@

Not to mention a regular Spanish Test then finals. AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Wish me luck!!
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