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Thursday, February 3, 2005


Here how it goes and I know everyone knows. People have ways to deal with life’s bullshit my way is to drown them out. Everyday I seem to drift away from my own life, I feel so dead but she is the only one that keeps me slipping all the way. Like a rip in my soul I lost all control over my ways. Drugs have taken their toll on my life and right now I thinking what do I have to lose. I have only her but she has been taken away because of something I think is really stupid. No one has any fucking right to judge anyone unless they been there and done it. Lived through it. Problems everywhere I go, I can’t take it anymore, I can’t… Every person I meet always gets drawn to me. They think I know the answers to all their problems. Chantel, Sarah, Ien, Johnny, David all call me there friends but I don’t trust them. I miss who I used to be and I miss being able to go to see the only two friends I ever really wanted. Kyle is leaving in about two or three days from what I hear, I am glad for him. I really am maybe he make it out of this fucked up town. Jannelle, well I still have feelings for her no matter what kind of shit I hear about her. With her there is something that draws me toward her not matter what direction I want to go I cannot seem to find a way past her and I think that is a sign that maybe we were meant to be. She is always in my mind no matter where I am, I stay at some of the lowest places in this town, but what keeps me strong, what helps me hold my head up high is the thought that I will see her soon. God has turned his back but I will not be broken from this world of hate. –12515-
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