Wednesday, August 9, 2006

   WHAT THE F$%*
just so you know...........ive just learned a terrible fact and i dont fucking feel like talking to anyone..........im probly just over reacting...i read a couple of conversations between lexi and some a guy named jim from austraila.....i didnt mean to...i was doing something special for her and logged on to her gaia to make shure she got my gift and i saw the words flamingjim and.........i knew i shouldn't but i did. for the most part they wernt bad conversations, but........there was one that actually tore my heat partially in two. but like i said.........im probly just over reacting....im not mad....but i am hurt.........im shure ill be over it in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!! please ...... someone pm me. i dont know when ill be on again. but id like a pm please.
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

   Summer is going to suck!
Im not going to get into the hole story yet but as it evens out, im grounded ALL summer from EVERYTHING. this includes lexi, my girlfriend. The reason im grounded is because i got caught smoking. Actually im glad i got caught, i was trying to stop because lexi and my friends wanted me to, but also because im having trouble breathing, the smoke affects my panic disorder(SOCIAL ANXIOETY DISORDER), and makes it hard to breath. well iv gots to go. P.M. me please.
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Friday, May 5, 2006

   change
It scares me how much ive changed. I would like to just be myself, but ive been through so many changes this past school year that i dont know what acting like myself is anymore! I am losing her, slowly but shurly she is slipping away from me.She's got new friends and doesnt have much time for her old ones. i know that she has a lot of stress on her but so do i! Sometimes i think that she would be happier as friends. my life is contourted in such a way i don't know what to do. i really dont want to lose her, but i seem to cause more pain just trying to help her. if we do break apart, then i will never love again, i wont be able to. but i will be her best friend if we do split up. i feel so bad because ive dated before and i know that shes the one i want, but she hasent dated before, im her first boyfriend, and she doesnt know for shure if im the one that she wants. it s inevitable.......i think thats why she flirts so much, and hey ive back of and havent said a thing, but the more i back off, the heavier she flirts. and i dont mind if she hugs SOME other guys, but when she does, it shouldnt be like hugging me. she hugged another guy the other day and i wouldnt have cared if she hadent of glomped him. but it doesnt matter.ill continue this later.(teachers getting mad)
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Monday, May 1, 2006

   Pm
PM me, i want to talk people! i get on first hour every day, thats when ill return the PM.
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   weekend!
My friend and i got stoned off our asses this weekend.It was his first time smoking weed and he took to it right away! although i found out that he's got more gay moments than i thought. he kept wanting to play the penis game with me. he got kind of upset when i told him no, but dammit, Lexi would kill me! speaking of lexi, i love her so so so much, i just want to hold her right now.
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Saturday, February 4, 2006

Sup
Hey, sorry i havent updated in a while. Dont have much to say, Lexi's grounded, theres nothing to do. im having my friend anthony come over today. It kind of made me sad when i called him because he was at his girlfriends house watching a movie, and thats what i was going to do with lexi tonight, but thats not going to happen. I dont blame Her for being grounded, thats what standing up to your mither will do. Her mother probly hates me by now because i've callsed a hundread times! her parents just said that she'll call me later. well they never said what time and i had stuff i had to do, so i just kept calling. I hate to be left hanging!!!!!!!!


I have something to tell you lexi, *Pulls hair back**Leans in like im going to tell you a secret**Nibbles/kisses ear**somewhat cheers you up temperarly**Whispers "I Love you so much"*
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