Monday, September 17, 2007

hum..*looks up in thought*
Mood:

song: "All the Same" Sick Puppies

Time: 5:55 PM

Ive thought alot about life recently. Its interesting. Ive learned that one must fight with the scars of the past to walk into the future. Im kinda currently going through that.
I had my heart ripped in the past and from there, not so good moments as I got rejected once after the other. Maybe thats why I sit here right now and wonder if Im a freak to him.
I havent felt this strongly for someone in a long time. But I rather talk about it more with people whom like to know.
Back to subject(s)
Anywho! Life has been full of surprises..as Ive come to discover durning my senior year of HS.
I found passions in deep conversations about anything or to debate. I learned that being forgiving is better because it shows that you can hold yourself up higher.
My desire to help just because increased so much lately and I cant help but smile because I feel glad to please someone. Doing good for no reason, thats something to tell people to come. To share some bit of knowledge to change someone or help them piece by piece to finding out who the are.
Heres a little (big) Spiel I wrote a while back that kinda connects with this:
know Im not a 'Jesus freak', as the guy in Travis' blog was but I can definately see what hes talking about. You really dont have to be a hardcore religious person to understand either.

We're all sinners and we have all be guilty of many things. But the world turns and we're all moving on, constantly changing. We're sometimes changing for the worse or even for the better, it just depends on who looks at it and judges.

Just the other day at work, I wondered why parents were letting their child who was no older than 9 wear a string bikini. Its kinda sad how much parents are very..."less strick" and just seem to be careless with their kids. Such as, a couple rode a ride together and let their child alone to ride it by herself. It may seem kinda stupid to anyone else, but I was completely P.Oed that they did that! Oh well..I kept my mouth shut.You see the most interesting stuff at my work, but then again, Im a lifeguard so...yeah. But I always think about more things now and I know Ive changed alot.

I sit here now and constantly think as I type here, I think,"How can I get my point across in words?" Its pretty hard since I have so much to say yet I dont know HOW to put it. I want to tell all my thoughts yet, Im holding back on some due to secretcy and matters that only require few eyes looking in.

hm..what to rant about...Theres so much on my mind after reading that blog that I want to talk about really anything.

Lets start with a common one:

Love

Ah yes, love. Love is a very powerful thing, some of you may not even know how it influences us and sometimes dont even know the difference with love or lust. Hopefully you do.

Love is so ageless and beautiful...as well as deadly. I believe in any kind of love. Because Love is what clearly makes you happy, not anyone else. In the matter at hand, how do you all see it? I see it as no boundaries, so what if you're a guy who loves another guy or a girl who likes another girl. Or maybe you're 17 and love a 25 year old? So? I mean, if you truly know the emotion and hold no regrets because you're so happy with that person, then you're more than likely in love. Dont let others hurt you because they're not happy with it. I may sound pretty crazy since some of you may think,"Oh my gosh! 17 and 25? how disgusting!" YOU guys need to ask how much of a difference there is in your grandparents ages or even some of the stars we all know and like.

My grandparents for instance, they are 9 years apart yet here they are..30-something odd years later still together and happy. I guess people really dont care once you hit 20, date however you old you want. Well, what about a bit younger? Some people may not actually know the emotion but the rest can. Its just on who you talk to.

If you can look at someone and say,"Im in love"..wow..just wow..You need to get to know them,I see it as, looking at them and accepting their flaws. Not caring how much they complain or how they eat. Even if it just ANNOYS the heck out of you, you're still in love and wont change that. (Hm...maybe I sounded a bit hypocritical since in the beginning I mentioned about people constantly changing...)This "love at first sight" kinda thing...I guess its a yes and no answer. Yes, because you can tell alot from a person on how they hold themselves and looking into their eyes. (But I dont know if many run around and stare into someone's eyes to see whom they are..haha..)No, because as the saying goes,"theres more that meets the eye"too.. (TRANSFORMERS! :D)(jk..sorry..couldnt help it).We all have secrets that we hold in the darkest corners of our minds, tucked away to never be told unless we meet someone whom we can share it with.

It goes into the next topic of just a short rant..ish..

Friendship

Yup, friends.

In my life, Ive had many friends but there have been few to enter my darkest part of my heart to learn of myself. I love each and every one of you guys.

I especially care so much for my "sisters" as Ive grown to call them. You know who you are. Im coming into my senior year of Highschool and these people are whom I stick to the most right now. I know Ive been working alot and havent had time to tell much of how much I love you guys but you're a big reason why Im typing this now. To tell how much I see life, how I want us to be closer than ever even if we're all constantly taking different routes.

Friends are very important, they're pretty much right next to love in my book.

So, if you feel like you're growing apart from people for truly call friends. Tell them. I know Im telling right now how much I can say that I will keep myself open if you guys need anything. Dont get scared to call me at...4 in the morning to just talk about food. Yeah, I'll be kinda bleary for a few moments but I'll still listen. If you need a hug, I'll be more than happy to give you a hug! :D Unless you live like....far away..then I'll call you or such and give you a big phone hug and ramble to you. Im always going to try something to please you guys.

Pretty much, friendship and love go hand in hand.

Religion

This might be a sore subject to talk about since some people could get offended. If I offend ANYONE right now..Im not sorry. Its just my opinion, you have yours.

I see religion as one thing. All the religions that we all know, are have something in common. Yes, there are different ways to express gratitude to "God" and how their culture is but they all have something in common as well.

Yet, thats one of the big reasons why fights and wars start...besides land and money.

Anywho,

I dont believe in God, I only believe in a higher being. Hes not someone from whom people rant about in the Bible. Its hard to explain this part since Im a middle ground kind a of person.

My family has not been very religious, though I went to church when I was a child...though when we moved we just stopped. I see it as, you dont have to go to Church to "praise God" or make chain letters to show you love "God" and how he sees everything. Well no sh*t. Stick to your belifes guys. If people cant accept it and shun you...their loss.

I believe in reincarnation, now..here you people might be a bit skeptical and either:

a) Tell me "God" and stuff.

b) Darwinism and more scince...

Well shove it. Its just what I think, not your opinion.

I see it as, the higher being..whoever he/she/it is, is giving people second chances at life. We all could have been reincarnated and not even know it. Its just an unconscious feeling we'll get called,"deja`vu". Hm? :)




Life

Live.

To put it simply.

Live your life to the fullest, if you have "sinned" apologize to yourself and change for the better in your eyes. Hold no regrets and move, dont just go with the flow. Change the world with random acts of kindess, influence people, do anything to spread a little light in this dark, corrupted world.You dont have to go to the church today and give all your money to show kindness. Help someone if they're struggling, give a stray dog some water, etc etc.

Open your arms and accept life and live like you're going to die the next day.(Though hopefully you wont) We're all not perfect so dont expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows at once. Slowly, things will turn out positive if you set it out to be. Small steps lead to greatness. You dont have to jump the cliff to get where you wanna go. You can slowly climb down to reach potential.

Have a good day guys.

Im going to try and continue to change myself as well for the better step by step.
Be proud and happy with what you're with. If not, work for the things you desire.



Questions? Comments? Rude Remarks? (which I'll gladly make one right back at cha! :3)




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