Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Thoughts, Feeling, anything above
Time: 8:22 PM

Mood: Thoughts

Song: Fields of Hope

~Lyrics~
konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashiteta

anata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusoku

itsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hope

umarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzuku

itsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakara
ima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai

natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hope

natsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope

-English~

Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined
I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future
That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope
On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation
One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for
Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of hope So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope

~General~

Hm, Ive been very thoughtful all day.
Well lets start with how I am, I guess all I can say is..Ive been wandering in the past and thought about how much alot of us have change.
I know I am kinda glad I have gotten more backbone..but I miss my old happy-go-lucky self...I guess I cant go back to that though since it would be hard, after all how it was tainted and all.
Ive also decided I might go back to talking to Bob...Ive known I hate him with a passion for what hes done and such but maybe people deserve second chances. Im going to think about that one more.

~On Friends~

Another is my friends, you guys know who you are.
I cant say how much I care so much for you all, if I never met any of you I know for sure my life would be a emu life and I wouldnt be able to smile like I do now. You guys are like my family. Ive always wondered how I feel left out in groups sometimes...I just always feel like Im not suppose to be there and I get sad since I see my friends laugh and chat but I just paste a smile on and forget. I know I shouldnt but its just one of those random thoughts.

~On Love~

I guess you can say; I miss love..I crave it now and it seems bad of me. I cant believe I think of how much people are smiling and looking at each one lovingly and I think: "Why am I unlucky on this part?" Eh, oh wells. It weird, I want love but yet, Im so scared to say "I love You" I mean, Its so hard to say it because I try to say it then immediately regret saying it because I never want the feelings to die. Ive been through some...not-so-good relationships which has made me slightly icey when it comes to matters of devotion and love.
"Tears Moonlight Overflowing from my palm
What do you want? My lips uttered in the darkness...That smiling face which pierced my heart when we met,I want to protect it within the agonizing, crushing pain.I had embraced our fleeting promise..Just to be close to you
Just to be with you at the same time
Returning distant memories, although sorrowful, they are making me warm.If the guidance within these etched symbols Ever fails again,The moment we meet again shall bypass the memories of a thousand years And change into light.."

~School~

School seems like a time that I just wish to go away. Im sick of everyone there. Im sick of hearing rumors or gossips of someone over a bad shirt or just because they sip a bottle of water.
Im sick of those people who seem so cruel to others and think its ok because its just entertainment.
Im tired of people bringing such sad things; like some of my friends..I wont mention names or point fingers but some..just upset me sometimes..They keep going on and on about getting raped, childhood friends (that I suddenly find out this year, after knowing them 3 years), or ect! They know it upsets me..but they do it.

"I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you
What is happening to it all?
Crazy some say
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away
But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way to
the ordinary world
I will learn to survive"

"Feeling sad and lonely
Cause I can't find you
Call your telephone
And there's never no answer
Said you love me
Kissed me
We were in heaven
Said I'm sorry
Love you, want you forever

Every night I look at the sky
Call your name
And wonder where you are
Every night I look at the sky
Baby, miss you
Won't you come back"

" was so happy, you were laughing
With a smile that melts everything away
Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth,
Waiting for the time to sprout
For instance, even if today is painful
And yesterday's wounds remain
I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on
I cannot be reborn
But I can change as I go on, so
Let's stay together always
Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always "

Just read all those closely; then you'll see how Im feeling and such. *smiles softly*


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