Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Just rambling on about family. It's getting longer I've been at it for a while hahaha....

Blah I'm so bored. i didn't feel like posting/didn't have anything to post about so I haven't since what like Sunday? Eh, not like I'm missed anyways. So, what's up with you guys? I'm bored as fuckkkkkkkk. I'm listening to random music I downloaded... My wrist is so god damn itchy!!! >_< Hah, it's turning bright red. So taday, I woke up, went to summer school, walked to my mom's work, waited outside a couple minutes, called and asked if I could sneak upstairs somehow cause I didn't feel good and I had to take a piss really bad haha. So I took the elevator to the third floor and she left a key to the bathroom on that floor, so I went in there and locked myself in there for like a half hour because she told me to just hide out there. She doesn't want her boss to get mad I was there and such, sort of. Eh, but someone came knocking and I didnt answer and they tried unlocked the door but theres a lock you have to do in it too so yea. It scared me and then my phone started vibrating because my dad was calling and the lady was listening to see if someone was in there, but she went away. Five minutes later, not even, she came back and I was like "Sorry!!" and ran over to the door acting like I wasn't in there for a while and only a bit and walked off to stair on a stair landing between the third and second floor. I was afraid someone was going to get mad or I'd get in trouble. I could hear my mom talkign to her boss though so somehow that made me feel better and less bored. Then, I got wicked bored so I climbed the rest of the stairs to the top floor, there's only five. I stopped and walked around before I went to the next floor each time. I was bored, and I looked at the paintings and such to absorb soem time. I ended up sitting hiding in a corner so people wouldn't see me unless they went to the elevator. I got bored and started writing a letter, I don't know if I'll send it or not I was in the mood to write a letter because someone had mailed something and I'm like "Ohhh I'll mail Brittany a letter!" Haha, yea... it's supposed to be a surprize but not if she reads this I guess but I don't find it likely. I don't think she considers me her friend anymore. So aka, I have no real life friends, or online too much except for the few I talk to on here basically everyday, at least a few messages about. Thennnnn... I was allowed to go to my mom's work and she almost right away told me to go get some food a little bit down the street... like three doors over, and I did. Then waited til about six, talking on here to people and then we had to go pick my grandfather up. We took him to Belden's in the mall to help him pick out a ring for my grandmother for her 60th birthday. She had had a diamond ring before, but the stone fell out because she was rough on it because of her job. Now her jobs much calmer and such so hopefully it doesn't get ruined. It's quite beautiful actually, but expensive. >_< It's like three times what much mom thought he'd maybe spend on the ring. It's yellow gold and it had around nine stones. three or so set in the band on either side of three larger stones with the middle being set higher then the two side stones. The ladies at the store thought he was so sweet and one was saying about either you're like that or you're just like "Here, go buy yourself something nice." type thing. =/ But hell, he's french, well canadian but still, aren't the french good with romance? My mom was asking like are you sure you want to spend that much and things like that and he said something like she deserved it. I hope she's happy with it, probably the only flaw would be the cost, but I bet it'd be heartwrenching if she gets mad about it. He picked it out himself, there was a smaller but he thought it was too small. Oh well, *crosses fingers.* Soooo, after we dropped him off and spent some time talking because he's lonely now with being retired and such =/, I made my mom take me to the cemetary where my dad's grandparents are buried. My great grandparents on my dad's side of the family. My mom had me say the rosary with her over my Memere's grave, the one who died earlier this year. I miss her... She was a wonderful woman. Her and my grampa's parents bought burial plots near each other when her husband died. She lived for about 40 years after he died, exactly almost just give or atake a few months. I noticed today I'm very french from my dad's side of the family. Only other nationality or whatever it that my grampa's mom was Irish. The rest is french. So I got to see my Memere and Pepere Vincent and my Memere and Pepere Paquette. =] If I have to make this confirmation thing I'm not going to have Catherine like i thought, I just don't like it anymore too much. I'm going to have Lucille after my Memere Paquette, her name was Lucille Edna. ^_^ Really, my Uncle Marc and my Aunt Linda, my mom's brother and my dad's sister, are my godparents but since my aunt isn't Catholic, my mom secretly had my Memere be my godmother. She was a very religious Catholic woman. I remember my mom and I sort of tried doing the rosary whe she was at the nursing home like about a week before she died and she was moving her mouth a little and she kept folding her hands and like shaking them and putting them to her forehead. Shit, now I'm crying. >_< I asked my mom if I could change my godmother from my aunt to her but she said I can't. =/ I was sorta bummed. I didn't know my Memere Paquette's husband, he died before my mom was even born and my dad was about two. He had a bad heart I think. His name Was Leon A. I don't know what the A stands for. =/ He died in 1967, both him and my memere were born in 1914. That would have made him I think 53 when her died, and 93 when she died, if I did the math correctly. But those are my gramma's parents. Hmm, onto my grampa's parents. Lucien G., maybe George like my grampa, and Veronica. I love her name, I wish I knew her middle name though. My Memere Vincent died I think 1984? It was before my mom started going out with my dad, all I know. I don't know why she died, I know my grampa loved her though. I think once I was told she almost died when he was being born, maybe that's why he was an only child. Also, supposedly my dad and grampa went somewhere and there was a girl named Veronica, possibly Veronica Vincent, and he started to tear up. He must have really loved his mom and must miss her so much... She was born in 1907 so that made her about 87 I think when she died. I think I did the math wrong, oh well. She'd be 100 this year I know that. Then there's my Pepere Vincent. He died when I was about 2 years old, I remember going to see him in the hospital and bringing him green grapes. He smoked, a lot, I've been told it was about three packs a day for 20 years, and he was a firefighter so that smoke didn't help either I bet, but yea, he got lung cancer. I have some pictures of my when I was little with him though. ^_^ He used to live like right across the street on the side of there house. I'm lucky I even knew two of my great grandparents as much as i did, usually people are limited on the grandparents that are my age it seems. I have all mine, and sort of have another great grandparents but my grampa didn't like her much and didn't consider her his mom, my Grammy Betty, my Pepere Vincent's second wife.He loved her but my grampa said something about not liking her or something and then his dad married her. Anyways, yea I have all my grandparents, technically, I have five. I have my dads parents and my moms parents and stepdad. Her biological fathers a jerk though and I've seen him maybe three times in my life? Tops. Last I saw him was my oldest brothers confirmation about 5 years ago. He's so old looking and his teeth are gross because he smokes pipes and cigars. My Papa, mom's step-dad, is more or a grandfather then he will ever be to me, he's more of a dad to my mom then he is too. He has a son that was comfirmed with my brotehr is the reason I saw him last. Enough about him though... My Gramma, Priscilla?, and Grampa, George, are my dad's parents. They're about 68 and 66? My Gramma's older. Then there's my moms parents which are Maureen and Robert, her real dads name is Robert too I believe. My Nanny, Maureen, is gonig to be 60 soon, and I'm not sure about my Papa, I know h's from Canada though! =] And this is the side of the family that Im Irish, Swedish, and English from. I get French from the jerk dude, no crap, Bureau is french. I believe my Nanny's mom was half Swedish and half English, then her father was Irish. All I know is my Nanny's mother was named Anna Beatrice. At the cemetary earlier I decided I'm going to name my children if I have any after My great grandparents. I chose Veronica and Anna Beatrice for two. I want to know Veronica's middle name though so I can have it like that. Also, I should have Lucille Edna. Maybe I could name some after my Papa's mom or dad. and After my great grandfathers, I don't know my Nanny's dads name though. MOM I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS SO TELL ME!!! Haha, my mommy's nosey.Crap, possibly getting mad I used the names too. Oh well, I don't care. I don't know what else to say and it's 1:30 in the morning I have to go I gotta get up earlier to go with my mom because my brother has to take my sister somewhere and can't give me a ride. ugh. I'll sleep on the table in the cafeteria again hahah. I should shower and go to bed in my cltohes and roll outta bed into the car and beg her to get me breakfast so i dont have to go the day without eating and only eating a turkey sub and fries around 3-4 pm usually. then nothing else. hahah. Bad, but it'd help. Eh, NIGHT!

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

   And if I bleed, I'll bleed, knowing you could care less. =[

I'm sick of pretending everything's okay. You know it's not. You don't even care. Can't you see how you affect other people? Clearly not, you aren't the only one with problems you know. Other people do too. You say things about others expeting eveything to be okay, but it isn't. It'll never be. You take things too harshly and in the wrong ways, but if you do it too you make it seem like it's okay for you to do. You need to realize there's other people out there. Not everything goes the way you want, get over it. Realize the truth in the world. Be out there, learn to love it, live it while you can. You're gonna regret it if you don't. I don't know what to tell you anymore. I try, but it's not good enough for you, I'm not going to leave you, but it's not like I'm there to you anyways. You wouldn't notice if I was gone. You don't give a shit about me. You don't try... You say things but you don't try. It hurts to see you like this, I miss you how you were when we met. I don't want to give up on you, I'm not giving up on you. I'm giving up on myself trying to be good for you. It's not like I help you anyways, you don't care about me. You care more about people you just met than you do me. If I was gone you'd be happy. You'd be better off if you never met me. Trust me you would, you would be so much better off. I miss how things used to be with us. I've given up.

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

So yea. I just got back from seeing Harry Potter. It was okay, I couldn't pay attention though I kept falling asleep. See, I haven't gotten so much sleep this week with summer school and all. I always get so tired during the day then at night I'm wide awake and can't sleep. I think I have major issues. I wanted to invite Brittany but she wouldn't get up and give me an answer so my mom invited my brother instead. Oh well. I was so tired at the movie but now I'm not tireddd... but am. I don't feel tired is all, but I am. I've survived a week of summer school. Woo hoo. I had to wake up earlier today and my mom dropped me off early to school because my brother couldn't give me a ride. I had to walk like maybe half a mile to the school and i like passed out sitting at the table.>_< I have a stomach ache... and I'm hungry. Wow shit I completely just lost track of thought... I'm watching Pysch on tv.... I don't know where my doggy is. I must go look for her and clean my bed off and snuggle with her like I always do and go to bed and sleep forever and never wake up.

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Quite sad isn't it, what this world has become to.

you have to go to reply to bulletin and then copy or u wont get the pictures in cuz u wont get the codes Why do people commit suicide? Why do people cut themselves? Why do girls become Anerexic and Belimec? Why do kids bring guns to school? WHy do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them? Why do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys? WHy cant people show their sexuality freely without worrying about being judged? IN the Bill Of Rights, It says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves? I KNOW WHY Cliques Society in general We live in a world where if your not skinny, not beautiful, not sexy, not straight...ur tortured, abused and humiliated. we say that we are all equal but there is still racism, sexism, and people judging others based on there religion, color, size, heritage, ect... IS THIS AMERICAN? IS THIS THE NATION WE LIVE IN AND FIGHT WARS TO SUPPORT? I AM SICK OF IT! Steriotypes, and everything else. I want to live in a good place. Without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGEMENT! IF THIS HAD ANY AFFECT ON YOU REPOST! No, a ghost will not rape your dog, u wont have relashionship problems, and no u wont die in 7 days. BUT you will have that guilt on your shoulders that you didnt try to get the message across. I want to stop the madness. If i only reached out to 1 or 2 people thats fine. at least MY concience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?

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OH YEA IT'S JULES' BIRTHDAY!!!!! She;s two years old now.

So, anyways. I have not a clue of what to say. Damn. I knew a second ago but now I forget. OOOOHHH YEA!! When I got home today, my dog Maple was no where to be found. I thought she was playing outside so I went and looked around and called her name and such and she didn't come. Then I started to do some things and I was going through old stuff of mine and I found this collage thing that I had to do in seventh gade and it had a picture of my first dog on it and I started crying. Then I was worrying more about where Maple was... It's the only picture I have of him. His name was Orian like the constellation. Last year, my brother Ben, he was mad at me and he took these two pictures I taped on my door of Orian and he took them off and gave them to Jules and she chewed them up. I remember crying because of that because those had been the only picture i had had of him at the time. I miss him... I loved that dog. Ahh, I don't like thinking about him all the time because it makes me cry... *Sigh.* Hold on, I'll put a picture of the picture I found of him on photobucket and put the link. Okay, they're uploading onto photobucket. I did other pictures too so it'll take longwer. Eh, oh well. Todays the last day this week orf summe school... my fifth day! I've survived a week so far. Er.. 77% done. It's taking too long >_< It'll be done soon enough though. I must go to sleep after this though because Ben can't give me a ride to summer school tomorrow and my mom needs to bring me early to it. Ugh. They're uploaded! http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/Orian.jpg There that's his picture. But so anyways, I came inside and I searched the house for Maple and couldn't find her. Then my mom went outside and went looking in the camper and she wasn't there, then she saw her head pop up into the window of my dad's truck. I was scared she was lost or something. =/ Ooh, want to see Maple too? I;ll find some pictures o her and Candy and Jules. Okay now those are uploading. I had to save them off my myspace pictues first. Ummmm... I'm cold cause of the breeze coming in. I don't feel good either.>_< Candy: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/Candy.jpg My sister Kristina and Jules: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/KrissyandJules.jpg Some of Maple: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/Maple.1.jpg http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/Maple.jpg Maple hiding behind Jules' leg: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/MaplehidingbehindJules.jpg Maple and Candy being happy little snuggling sisters: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/MapleandCandy.jpg Me sleeping and cuddling with Maple, my mom was taking pictures trying to wake me with the flash and woke Maple because it makes a noise: http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z78/contaminatedxdork/MesleepingwithMaple.jpg Ehhh, well thats it. Bye!

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Gahhhhhhhhhhh such fucking lovely mustangs!!!!!! They're gorrrrrgeous

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

There are over 126,000 teen abortions per day. More than half abortions are from wealthy women who can obtain birth control easily. Whoever told you that an aborted baby was never a life, lied to you. . Repost this if you are against abortion; click reply to copy all the codes and post. This is not just a normal bulletin. This is a large problem in the United States, and we need it to stop! Many teens and young adults get abortions. Over 1,000,000 abortions are done in the US alone, each year. To reduce this risk, put into consideration of babies and give them a chance. They want to live! Not be murdered! Every child was put here for a reason, don't stop their chances of being something big!!! This is inside of the placenta "Mommy, didn't you love me?" ABORTION IS WRONG! STOP KILLING BABIES! "Was I really a mistake?" "I'm sorry you didnt love me enough to give me a chance!" Please repost this! Hit "Reply" copy the code and repaste in bulletin. IF U CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A CHILD DON'T HAVE SEX AT ALL If you don't repost this, you don't have a HEART

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The things that don't kill us only make us stronger. How is that? I'm soooo tired. Summer school isn't that bad. It's boring though.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

*Sigh.*

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Monday, July 9, 2007

I wish she'd be more happy. All I can think of to say. Ohhh, someone tried to rob a bank yesterday diguised as a tree. He taped branches to himself. "Leaf it to New Hampshire, where a bank branch was held up by a man disguised as a tree." I start summer school today, I must go to sleep now. I was a bad kid and didn't do my science homework first semester so I failed and have to take summer school for it. It's fucking three hours of class a day all week for the rest of the month!

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