myOtaku.com: bitchy-bitch

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-06-04
Gender
• Female
Location
• Someplace unknown.
Member Since
• 2006-06-23
Occupation
• Torching you and killing myself.
Real Name
• Caitlin...

Personal

Achievements
• What achievements?
Anime Fan Since
• Never really.
Favorite Anime
• I liked Sailor Moon shoes when I was little...
Goals
• To torch people and kill myself.
Hobbies
• Playing with my dogs and such and being online. COLORGUARD!!!
Talents
• What talents?

myOtaku.com: bitchy-bitch

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

And to think I thought I had maybe loved you...........not that you care anyways.
Ello.. Welcome to my Hell.

Today... I have to wear black to school.
That won't be very much different from usual though because i wear black like everyday... not always like entirly though but half the time yea.
WEEEEEEEEEE.....

Blah...

The only person I actually talk to...is being a big huge-mongus asshole. To simply put it. He complains about everything about me and finally he just stopped talking to me and if I say something to him he won't answer. The fact he's idle half the time doesn't help but still. He's a big butthead -_-.

All my scars on my arm show a lot lately... Like darker and more visible...sometimes but moreso than before. semkrdngfjdth Sorry.... I'm just a stupid fucked up piece of shit ^_^

Woops... that's one of the things he got pissed at me for. "You say stupid shit all the time." or something like that. -_- And he doesn't like that I put skulls as my smiley things on AIM. -_- Who cares if I like skulls?... Geez. Oh and he's like 'I don't like your AIM sound when you send me IMs so you made me have to turn off my noises. Now I don't hear the sounds when people IM me. Ugh.... fucking jerk. I'm beginning to regret saying he was one of my best friends now. He finds anything and everything about me to complain about. Then sometimes he would pry into things that he didn't need to know about and then get all pissed off at me for it but it's his own fault for prying. Then he says I start things but it starts with him.... him prying and getting pissed. That's so fucking his fault because he just had to pry in the first place and that just made him pissed and by me telling him he thinks I'm stupid for it. He said I was in one of my "sad moods" as he calls it and said I made him cry and scratch off skin in one place till it bled. -_- He tells me that now like four or five months later cause that was like last week he told me and it happened like last October... I remember cause first I did anything or whatever like that stuff was October 18th last year... I remember because I looked back on post for here once and saw... It's been stuck in my mind since then. If I made him do that. Then I'm still not as bad as he is. He's made me do more then just scratch at skin till it was gone. Way more.... FUCK Sorry >_< I'm stupid see.... oh and he gets pissed at me for saying I'm stupid or annoying or whatever too but he says I am to me so why can't I say it about myself.

He gets pissed if I say ok a couple times in a row also.... Like he'll be talking to me about stupid video games and I honestly could care less but I pay attention to what he's saying and I don't have anything else but "Ok." to say usually and he gets all pissed and says I don't pay attention to him and such and calls me a liar for whatever reason and just yea.

I guess I just wish things were like they used to be... Things wouldn't change as much as they have. I want things to be like when things were going good again... No fighting or hitting or not talking or whatever happens.

This just reminds me of Anna talking about little children getting molested and how it ruins their lives. She had to say that when her and Brittany slept over for my birthday in the camper. I remember wanting to fucking scream in her face to shut the fuck up and be like yes it does ruin kids lives why do you think I'm so fucking damn screwed up. lsdgnjg >_< But instead i curled up in a blanket and hugged my pillow and stared at nothing but like stared and remembered about when I was little and I was rocking back n forth on the seat and being like "Yup... it does ruin their lives... it ruins their lives forever..." and mumbling after to myself ..."I should know"..... and I think they knew I mumbled something but I didn't repeat it cause I didn't want to. I know I had told Brittany about that before though....... when we were online or on the phone... I think online.... But I don't know. It was so long ago cause I can't remember...... I don't even talk to her even anymore but not that anyone else cares. I'm alone in this world and I'm just here to wait to die.

erkdfnhkrjftnh

Sorryyyyy...........

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