Monday, June 16, 2008

   ack!
oh my jeez, i'm sooooo bored, I didn't think it was humanly possible to be this bored. It SUCKS! theres nothing to do and none of my friend are around, so i'm stuck here in the computer for most of the day (or atleast the part of the day that i'm awake, which is not that long). *sigh* everythings just either too eventful or not eventful enough, maybe i'm just being picky. At this rate I half wish school would start back up, I'll be a senior after all ,so it won't be that bad this year.

later all.
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Thursday, June 12, 2008

   *yawn*
so whats up poeple? n/m here these last few days. I've been stayin up late still but my bf says he's worried about my health so i promised him i'd go to bed earlier today...>.>..<.<..I was supposed to hang out with a friend today but..I guess she bailed on me...again.. argh.
In other news, I think i may have cracked somthing in my foot. cuase the last few days it hurts just putting my sock on. of course my mom won't take me to the doctor cuase she thinks its just sore from playing softball. I guess she could be right but it still hurts like shit!

hmm I think i'll invite another friend over maybe..

later all.
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

   Official Insomniac
yeah so its gotten to where I don't usual get to sleep until atleast 3am anymore, and last night i was still awake at 5:30am,..when the sun was starting to come back up and my dad was going to work. I pretended to be asleep but..I was wide awake, good news: I finally finished that book I was reading, all last 250 somthing pages of it. bad news: I cant seem to stay awake(or in a good mood) during the day now.

another thing that happened today: ok so me and my bf roleplay, no not like that you pervs!. like the normal anime geeky stuff. we're in thise one rp with about 8 other poeple(half of them being girls) and he said(jokingly I think) " ((oh btw your going to have to compete for me in this rp)))" which slightly hurt actully..I mean I know its just a rp and its all fiction but, telling your gf that she has to compete for you in any curcimstance just doesn't feel right with me. He reassured me that its only the rp that i'm completly his outside in the real but it still made me breathless for a moment.Maybe i'm overreacting though.I"m still gonna fight for him in the rp though >.>..<.<..I'll show those other girls argh!! lol Holly may be emotional and crazy but she is a warrior too!

EDIT: So now I find out he's going to a party at his friends house later this evening. I miss him already, I"m really going to miss him even if only for those few hours. Jeez I wish I could find a smoke(yes I smoke ,get over it *uckers)

*sigh*

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Monday, June 9, 2008

   good again
He got to come back, I'm happy. He really makes me happy, we just hung out and talked for awhile. He said alot of sweet things tonight. its almost midnight here so i'm off to bed, sorry for posting so much today, its been crazy ^^

night all
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   soo....
soo, I'm not feeling well now, i mean i'm happy my bf's back in town and everything but thats about it. been thinking some stuff today, about poeple I'd rather forget,that have already forgetten me by far. Ever get the feeling you'd just like to lose alot of your old memories, especially the ones that hurt to remember. I hate it. my bf if away for the moment, at his house, he's supposed to be back over here later. I hope he is soon, I need him to cheer me up right now...I get depressed so easily it seems, and I just realized somthing I started this myO account back in freshmen year...thats the year i'd really rather forget the most. Back then I was really messed up and did alot of stuff i regret, more then anyone would know. I guess if that stuff never happened I would have never found my current bf(aka the love of my life by far!) but it still hurts to think about it.
and theres the thunder...its raining. my bf might not be able to coming back over if that starts...:(.
There are alot of things i'm scared of right now some more secret them others.I"m scared of losing him, of going to sleep at night somtimes..., of my parents and even my little brother occationally.I'm scared of not making anything with my life and of being abandoned by my friends.
Its 9pm...where is he at? I want him here.
I'm scared of my past, and the poeple in it. I'm scared of not having enough days to live my life happily. I'm scared when i'm not with him.
What is really considered living? is it what i used to be, or what I am now? or maybe theres no difference between the two.

sorry for the rant again, no one really has to read it if they don't want to. I"m just typing to hear my own thoughts.
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   pleasant..
so today i was planningo n posting some randon stuff but..i'll save that for later. Its monday and my baby's back in town!! He's finally home ,so happy to see him! soo soo happy ^-^. not much else happening cept last night i finally beat this game that i've been playing forever! wooh the dot.hack series, yes i wanted to beat those games so i could go buy the G.U. series and play that !! Im trying to beat all the side quests and stuff for now til i get some money, (cuase i'm totally freakin broke T.T WHY CANT I FIND A JOB!!??) lol anyways yay todays a good day and my friends gonna stop by again this week before she leaves to go to her cousins house for the summer so thats cool too anyways

later all....
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Saturday, June 7, 2008

   hmmm
hmm so its rather early saterday, last night was hilerious, my friend and I where up until 4am watching YuYu Hakusho, the episodes of the final of the dark tournament with Hiei fighting, oh my has anyone else watched that resently?, its soo funny the faces they make in the episode are gold!! XD i'm laugning just thinking about it. hahahah, it was great. lol hmm then we watched sweeney todd too. great movie ^^ and my bf called me again, its was awsome..he said my laugh was cute ~>.<~. i'm so glad he's supposed to be coming home late tonight i think!! yay!, so yeah i'm pretty much waiting on that, I've got nothing else to do today anyways. oh gonna watch bleach and all them on TV tonight too. Can't wait for that. just bored outta my mind right now...

later all..
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Friday, June 6, 2008

   Friday,..
yay, sorry about the rant last time, I think everythings ok now. Still worried about my bf though, hes off at his cousins house though so..We talked on the phone last night, it was nice. He'll be back tomorrow I think,or the next day. Can't wait to see him again!! oh well enough of my love life back to the normal stuff. We went to the library today, yay free books! and we got icecream even better , sense its hot as hell outside.OMG and the car's air conditioning is broken too! now of all seasons! *Sigh* oh well my friends coming over this afternoon to hang out, and she'd bringing cookies too. Sweet! Literally! anyways i'm off to play my video game, i think i'm finally going to beat that sucker! yay! hope to hear from my bf later today too, waiting for him to text me...or maybe i'll just go ahead and text him..hmm..idk.

later all..

P.S. ok i know its been awhile sense i've used this but I cant seem to find where the hell you change your avatar at? help?
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Thursday, June 5, 2008

   huge post i know bite me...
I need a place to vent. I place most poeple dont actully know me, so guess what ,that means i'm posting here again. Its hella late here...1am(ok so not that late) but i just needed to put afew things down.I don't feel like being specific so the following rant probebly won't make sense to anyone....


I hate her, I really want to hate her, but I just cant,..doesn't that make me a bad person? after all thats she's put me and others through, I relize that she's had a bad life, but so have most everyone, and I'm really tired of putting up with her crap. I really miss her as a friend i do..but..shes not only putting me through stuff now but him too. She hurt him..made him cry..I cant stand for that. If anything happened to him becuase of her I swear idk what i'll do.she may have once been a friend but he's the love of my life, more important then she'll ever be..am I not being sypathetic? do i have a heart of stone just becuase of this? don't I have a right to be selfish for this one time..I really am I bad person. He just mentioned god and i'm at a loss for words...but she's alright and so is he now i believe. god..maybe i should listen to him more often........................STOP IT stop talking about her, I'm your girlfriend! she's just your friend..right?..i know im right but still..i'm envious....she made you feel better just by being there...i tryed my hardest you said thanks but...did it get through how much i really wanted to help..i guess it did,i held you togather when your usualy the one holding me togather. as long as your alive and well and still love me, i'm happy. this had to just happen before he leaves for afew days, you know how worried i'm going to be!!? i'm going to runn up so many texts checking on him, atleast once a day. things are calm for a moment now. thanks god for that.


ok i think thats the end of that rant...hopefully. so much damn drama! lol anyways i'm listening to soundtrack much now, yay for pirates of the carribean, even more yay for the friend that met me borrow it.don't think i have anything else to say tonight cept i'm tired but i'm not going to go just yet. night all
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Monday, July 23, 2007

   iccky iccky lalala XP
yeah ignore the title i was bored. So yeah, no one comments anymore, that sucks, but yeah, why would anyone want to read about some boring life. XO XP X( . I got a shot today, it hurt ,my arms still sore and everything *curses doctor*, but other then that its cool. gosh only two weeks of summer left, I DON WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL. its going to suck, I've spent my whole summer online and now i'm going to have to spend it in a freezing classrom with a bunch of dumbasses!! well yeah guess I can always bring a book and shot galres at anyone who looks at me. that ususlly works.

ok so I cna't think of anything else to post today, no pic cuase i'm lazy again.
see ya later alligangstas!

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