myOtaku.com: blacklightning

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-09-01
Gender
• Female
Location
• in TN(a.k.a. hell)
Member Since
• 2005-03-31
Occupation
• senior in highschool
Real Name
• Call me Holly.

Personal

Anime Fan Since
• ??? long time??
Favorite Anime
• Naruto,Death note,Furuba,Bleach, hellsing, too many others.
Goals
• idk
Hobbies
• writing, reading, watching anime,etc.
Talents
• softball,and singing.^^

myOtaku.com: blacklightning

Thursday, June 5, 2008

huge post i know bite me...
I need a place to vent. I place most poeple dont actully know me, so guess what ,that means i'm posting here again. Its hella late here...1am(ok so not that late) but i just needed to put afew things down.I don't feel like being specific so the following rant probebly won't make sense to anyone....

I hate her, I really want to hate her, but I just cant,..doesn't that make me a bad person? after all thats she's put me and others through, I relize that she's had a bad life, but so have most everyone, and I'm really tired of putting up with her crap. I really miss her as a friend i do..but..shes not only putting me through stuff now but him too. She hurt him..made him cry..I cant stand for that. If anything happened to him becuase of her I swear idk what i'll do.she may have once been a friend but he's the love of my life, more important then she'll ever be..am I not being sypathetic? do i have a heart of stone just becuase of this? don't I have a right to be selfish for this one time..I really am I bad person. He just mentioned god and i'm at a loss for words...but she's alright and so is he now i believe. god..maybe i should listen to him more often........................STOP IT stop talking about her, I'm your girlfriend! she's just your friend..right?..i know im right but still..i'm envious....she made you feel better just by being there...i tryed my hardest you said thanks but...did it get through how much i really wanted to help..i guess it did,i held you togather when your usualy the one holding me togather. as long as your alive and well and still love me, i'm happy. this had to just happen before he leaves for afew days, you know how worried i'm going to be!!? i'm going to runn up so many texts checking on him, atleast once a day. things are calm for a moment now. thanks god for that.

ok i think thats the end of that rant...hopefully. so much damn drama! lol anyways i'm listening to soundtrack much now, yay for pirates of the carribean, even more yay for the friend that met me borrow it.don't think i have anything else to say tonight cept i'm tired but i'm not going to go just yet. night all
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