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Female
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• in TN(a.k.a. hell)
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• 2005-03-31
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• senior in highschool
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• Call me Holly.
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• ??? long time??
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myOtaku.com: blacklightning
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Monday, June 9, 2008
soo....
soo, I'm not feeling well now, i mean i'm happy my bf's back in town and everything but thats about it. been thinking some stuff today, about poeple I'd rather forget,that have already forgetten me by far. Ever get the feeling you'd just like to lose alot of your old memories, especially the ones that hurt to remember. I hate it. my bf if away for the moment, at his house, he's supposed to be back over here later. I hope he is soon, I need him to cheer me up right now...I get depressed so easily it seems, and I just realized somthing I started this myO account back in freshmen year...thats the year i'd really rather forget the most. Back then I was really messed up and did alot of stuff i regret, more then anyone would know. I guess if that stuff never happened I would have never found my current bf(aka the love of my life by far!) but it still hurts to think about it.
and theres the thunder...its raining. my bf might not be able to coming back over if that starts...:(.
There are alot of things i'm scared of right now some more secret them others.I"m scared of losing him, of going to sleep at night somtimes..., of my parents and even my little brother occationally.I'm scared of not making anything with my life and of being abandoned by my friends.
Its 9pm...where is he at? I want him here.
I'm scared of my past, and the poeple in it. I'm scared of not having enough days to live my life happily. I'm scared when i'm not with him.
What is really considered living? is it what i used to be, or what I am now? or maybe theres no difference between the two.
sorry for the rant again, no one really has to read it if they don't want to. I"m just typing to hear my own thoughts.
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