Monday, April 18, 2005

   Something Takes a Part Of Me,I'm Feeling Like a Freak on a Leash
*yawns and stretches like a cat,ears twitching*It's so much easier when I don't bother going to sleep...then I don't haveta worry about being tired when I wake up o.O
Just sitting here listening to Korn...had a boring weekend...my friend Andrew dragged me out to his little brother's soccer game so he wouldn't be lonely and we froze our asses off and I got wind burn >.< I told him I blame him entirely and he just grinned one of those smirkish grins.

evil....

Since I don't have anything exciting to say,here are some lyrics from New Found Glory:All Downhill From Here

"All Downhill From Here"

You’re hiding something, ‘cause it’s burning through your eyes
I try to get it out, but all I hear from you are lies
And I can tell you’re going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again, we’re playing off emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end?
Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here
Your good intentions slowly turn to bitterness
Reoccurring episodes with each and every kiss
(Let’s go!)
And I can’t believe you pulled it off again
Or notice till it all sets in
You’ll deny it ‘til you’re at your bitter end
And you keep pulling me down!
(pulling me down)
(pulling me down)
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here

Everyone have a good day
*~Serena~*
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

   Kill Me Softly
I watch the doorway
As though he were there
I can barely even see him
I know he's here,but where?
Those crystaline blue eyes
A shy,nevous smile
Baggy shorts and shirts
That he clutters in a pile
A room,I see
This room is his
The lingering prescence
Of the one I miss
But where,I wonder
Does he stay?
Where does he hide
When he's away?
Did I push him
A little too far?
Why and how did he leave here?
By foot,by bus,by car?
Sitting on his bed,that I am
Clutching your hoody tight
I blink away my ice cold tears
And lie my head down for the night
The next morning
When I awake
I hope you will be here
Only you,not a fake
Take me into your arms,that you will
Lift me up to see you,oh how high
Tell me how you love me
And promise one last lie
You're here to stay...

Eh,I haven't been getting around to the sites..Sorry everyone.I'll visit everyone today,thats a promise.This poem SUX,yesh I know.But in my head I have been mixing words and emotions and I think soon I might actually write it down.But the idea of the poem,the object of these emotions..I know it wrong..eh,confusion.How are you people about Richard Marx? His Cd is awesome...nice thing to listen to late at night...I heard an extremely sad song yesterday called One Last Time..about a piolet who calls his wife as his plane is going down during 9/1 and saying his last goodbye.
But yesh,the horrid horrid life I lead is becoming annoying..eh,I need to sleep or something
*~Serenity~*
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Saturday, April 16, 2005

   Life can be a real pain in the ass sometimes...
1:oo am,talking to Mizu-chan,listening to Richard Marx..I got his CD,Sum 41,Korn's Greatest Hits,and New Found Glory yesterday in the mail..theyre all kewl.I dont have anything worthwhile saying...so here:
KORN LYRICS

"Right Now"

I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabericating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around

Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you

I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground

Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you

You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
Oh God I cannot take it

Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!

Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you

I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you (Shut up!)

Shut up!

Good song by Korn,enjoy
*~Serenity~*
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

   First comes heavy breathing,staring at the ceiling,what will happen next,I don't wanna know...
We have THE gayest CRCT pep rally today...someone please,just fucking shoot me ~.~ Not much to say besides I MISS MY ABG T_T*pours out bucket of tears just to fill it back up again*
*sniffs*ttyl
*~Your lonely and depressed friend~*
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

   I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win,You are the antidote that gets me by,Like a drug that gets me high,What I really meant to say,Is I'm sorry for the way I am,I never meant to be so cold...

I'm okay now,I guess...
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   So cut mr wrists and black my eyes,So I can fall asleep tonight or die,Because you kill me,You know you do,You kill me well,You like it too I can tell,You never stop until my final breath is gone...
I just finished watching Inuyasha..and there is this sinking feeling in my gut..I think I'm going to be sick..but I don't think its like sick-sick..I think there's something wrong with me...

Should've Known Better
Richard Marx

Another sleepless night I can't explain
Somebody said they heard me call your name
The radio won't let you leave my mind
I know it's over but I don't know why
Should've known better
Than to fall in love with you
Now love is just a faded memory
Should've known better
Now I'm a prisoner to this pain
And my heart still aches for you
There was no risk that I wouldn't take
And not a promise that I didn't make
All I asked was that you just hold on
And now I'm wondering what I did wrong
I gave you all of my body and soul
Never believing we might lose control
I took my hands off the wheel
I can't remember if the lies were true
It's been a million years since I touched you
I thought time might help me win this game
But being away from you is slowly driving me insane

I...I don't know what to say...I think..there is something really wrong with me..I feel..I don't know..it hurts,it aches..something is terribly terribly wrong..
*~Me~*




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Saturday, April 9, 2005

   I can feel a change,I can feel,can you feel it?Watching the heat from the pavement,I wish it was raining,Cuz I hate every beatiful day
I ended up not staying the night at Stephanie's cuz I had to work today so I only stayed 'till ten..it was fun though..8 girls in one house,oh the endless possibilities.We played Twister,ate hot sauce covered Skittles dipped in nacho cheese(Well I did that),struggled through a game of Cranium,chased this one skater boy down the street that we had no idea who he was(now THAT was funny),played volleyball over this little half fence,and spread so much gossip to the whole group I thought they all might explode.
First things first,the skater boi down the street.Well,he went skating by and Chrissy was like 'Holy shit,that guy is hot!'and they all kinda gathered around the window,I was the only one who thought of opening the door and going outside..they all kinda followed after me and he stopped,turned and stared at me for a moment.I waved a little and walked right up to him(all the other girls were like terrified to do it..I talk to skater bois all the time,its just natural..plus I wasnt out there checking him out like the other girls,nor attempting to flirt with him..I was really gonna just talk to him..he wasnt that cute,in my eyes...but I dont go around checking guys out anymore)so this was how our convo went:
Me:Hey
Him:Hey..wassup?
Me:Well all of my friends are dying to talk to you..thought I would 'break the ice' so to speak,so they wouldnt be so nervous
Him:*scratches the back of his neck nervously*Oh..well why don't you introduce me,um,*waits for a name*
Me:I'm Elissa*follows to introduce all the girls who are giggling like crazy*
Him:*waves a little with a smile*My name is Brian..Look I really cant stay,I'm on my way to somewhere*digs in pocket for something and comes up with pen*But here*writes number on my hand*Give me a call sometime,maybe we can all talk*winks and jumps onto skate board and skates away down the street*
Me:o.O*looks down at number and turns to girls*Um,you guys want his phone number?I dont

So they all crowded around and copied it from my hand and I have yet to wash it off..I can barely see it now,but its not like I have any intentions of calling him..so when he was outta site Chrissy decides to go running after him screaming "I love you anonymous skater boi!!!Please come back and take me with you!!!" so of course I got the job of dragging her back into the house.Next,we played Twister..I will tell you now,I am a VERY flexible person.I beat everyone,it was awesome.Then we played cranium and it was kool.Then the Lousianna hot sauce/nacho cheese covered Skittles..they actually werent tht bad.And her Dad like dropped plastic forks all over the floor and was just like gonna throw them away..so I asked for them and now I have a bag of exactly 73 plastic forks siting on my bed.
After thinking until 1 this morning I realized how different I am from my friends..I really hang back and I really didnt belong there..and yet,they still enjoyed having me there..I'm not sure if I were someone else I would be my friend.I dunno,I just dont see why they enjoy my company.
Also,I have been deprived of my ABG for close to a week now T_T O the ache and pain..everything is so bland and dull in my life without him*sigh*
Well I love my ABG
(sorry about any typos ><)
*~Lissa-Ann~*
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Thursday, April 7, 2005

   I tried to see how down low I could get to the ground
Hey everyone wassup?Well I said I'd put up a pic..here you go:

No,I'm not anything special.But what's a girl to do?Well,I dont have much to say and not much time to say it.Oh yeah,I have been getting a lot of questions about what ABG..lol,well for some of you have joined late or just missed that post,ABG stands for Anonymous Boyfriend Guy,instead of me saying his name,because what guy wants his girlfriend embarassing him on her site?
We're reading Ivanhoe,in Gifted Literature..and like..it sucks..I hate this book..and understan it and all(cuz I read a lot of Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe)but I mean c'mon..ZzZzZzZzZz
Well I g2g,talk to everyone laters!
*~Lissa-Ann~*
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   If shame had a face,I think it would look kinda like mine,If it had a home,Would it be in my eyes?Would you belive me,If I told you I was tired of this?
Hello to all..I currently sit here typing this with burgundy hair dye setting into my hair..ya know,you haveta wait 25 min after you put the stuff in..hopefully it will come out good^-^Maybe I'll even put up a picture for everyone when its all dry and prettyful,kay? Well today was BoRiNg As HeLl!!!I barely got to tan at all..and its supposed to rain tomorrow,so I'll just be pale forever I guess(lol actually I'm not even the slightest bit pale..I go tan from tanner to tannest,I've never been pale)I currently am listening to Storm by Lifehouse
(lyrics)
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right
I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right

this is a real sweet song and makes me think of S.o.S o yeah..burgundy hair and blue eyes kinda looks prettyful together,lol.Hopefully my ABG thinks so too << >> lol
Well nothing special going on in my life really..I got invited to this sleepover for this one girl named Stephanie's B-day party..honestly,I think shes kinda bitchy and I dont wanna go..but I'm gonna be nice and go anywho ~.~ preps and I dont mix well << >>
I wrote a poem..but I'll put it up tomorrow..the buzzer just went off and I gotta wash my hair with that conditioner crap they give you
I love my ABG
*hugs everyone*
*~Lissa-Ann~*
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005

   If I could see you,The darkness would turn to light,and I will walk on water,and you will catch me if I fall,and I will get lost in your eyes,and everything will be alright...
Well,yesterday tanning went well,actually got a tan..the Robert came and dumped water on me!!!AND whilest I was chatting with my ABG he popped out my screen,came into my room,practically tackled me and picked me up,throwing me out of my own room and locking me out!For 17,he sooooo weird and can be really immature..I have such weird friends ~.~ BUT I got a nice sleep last night...woke up once @ 2 because of a bloody nose(which I've been having like crazy lately)its the goddamned pollen,fuck it all!
Well today I'm going to try tanning again when I get home,IN THE BACKYARD!hopefully he wont hop the fence or nothing << >>
Here's some lyrics from one of my new fav. artists:
SICK CYCLE CAROUSEL
By: Lifehouse

If shame had a face
I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home
would it be my eyes?
would you believe me
If I said I'm tired of this?
well here we go now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low
I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe I tried to beat this
When will this end?
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good
I never thought I'd end up here
I never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought
It would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong
Now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low
I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this
When will this end?
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah
When will this end?
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

well that's all for now
I love my ABG!!!!!
*~Lissa-Ann~*
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