Monday, April 4, 2005

   I'm staring at my feet,my cheeks are turnin red,I'm searching for the words inside my head,If I could say I what I wanna see,I wanna see you go down on one knee...(hee hee)
My friend Andrew burned me a copy of one of MCR's cds..its kewl I guess..went to the doctors..I have like some bronchial infection of some sort..gotta take a buncha shit for it..I think I'm on like 3 different meds..I cant remember..been popping the damn things like candy(dont worry about ODing,I hate meds ><)*sneezes*ahhhh...and I just got plain ol allergies...itchy watery eyes,stuffy nose,you get the point...it sux x.x
I wrote this real sweet poem today for S.o.S but I cant find it!ahhhh...hope I didnt leave it in class...meaghan would pick it up..and reveal the loverly side to teh goth-girl that they never knew existed..total embarassment -///-I'll keep looking though..my friend Emily was playing with my hair today in gym..it was weird..people like playin with my hair x.x I wanna dye it again..I HATE blonde..makes me look so...ordinary..I dont WANNA BE ordinary..I WANT it black again..but my mom would kill me if I even asked her..*sighs*maybe blue,or purple..anything but this boring ordinary color..if I cant be beautiful,then I at least wanna be different!
ha ha..just took my hair outta the bun I always keep it in...its all curly..its kinda cool..maybe I'll just start braiding it like crazy x.x
well..I think the meds are starting to take over my system*whispers*help me..
well,Im gonna go lay out on my driveway in a bikini(nice image right? lol)cuz I need to work on my tan,Im like seriously pale on my back and upper chest..lol..I'm just gonna stop there..nice mental image to leave everyone with ^_~
lol,well I'll talk to everyone later
Oh yeah..and just so you all know..I still LOVE my ABG(check the archives if you have NO idea what Im talking about,kay?)
*sneezes,blinks,sniffles,waves*
*~Lissa-Ann~*
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Sunday, April 3, 2005

   I hate everything about you,why do I love you?You hate everything about me,why do you love me?
*yawns and rests chin in palm,elbow on pc desk*G'morning everyone.Not much happening here..just lounging around in my boxers and this shirt I swear is see through its so old(good thing I wear an undershirt under just about everything)I just woke up from the best dream...not the freaky devil angel boy one..still want to know what the hell he said >< but I was up 'till about 3 this morn. and was listening to Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin over and over..and I thought of something kinda weird..now we all know,of course,I'm going to share this weird discovery with you.
Well,one of my favorite songs(Rain,By B.B)has a stanza that goes like this:
['Is it you I want,
Or just the notion
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around]
Safe to say from here,
Your getting closer now,
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be'

Now tell me if I'm interpreting this wrong,but the lines in the [-] are talking about not exactly wanting the physical person,but just the thought of safety and the light they provide for this person..like they dont exactly love this person,just the thought of their love.Like they dont really love the person for them..just the comfort of being taken under their wing and guided.Isnt that a little..well I dont know how to describe it..but I mean..wouldnt you be pissed off if someone didnt love you for you?Thats like..liking someone because they look beautiful,but you hate them as a person..now I can see loving for someone because of their personality,but not their looks(cuz thats how it is supposed to be)but the other way around is almost..cruel..its like fake love T_T Sad,isnt it?I just thought about that..real love..its like it barely exists anymore..like the world has completly forgotten what the definition of love is!In my hands I hold a dictionary:
Page 255
Love-strong affections or liking for someone or something;a passionate affection for one of the oppisite sex,the object of such affections;sweetheart*closes book*
I dont see how they can even put the word love in the dictionary!You cant describe it with words(hardly anyways)Only through emotions and feelings..its sad..I just think it is...for all who dont know,I AM in love,I KNOW what love feels like..and I cannot describe it in words..
I just thought this odd

You,re a very depressed, lonely person. Something
happened to you that changed your point of view
on life or maybe you always been this way. You
don't have any friends because you dont see the
point in making them they will just leave
anyway so why bother or maybe you just dont
want them. But try and stay positive there are
people who love you, so dont push them away
they just want to help. You might be scared to
make friends because you think they might hurt
you, but they won't, good friends always stay
together so try and make some. Check out my
new short story.


Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a dark girl. You have a really quiet and
really a i dont' care attitude. You like to be
alone and that is what you enjoy. You don't
like to be around others and you'd rather be
away from here. You have a get away from me
look and others find you bitchy and
self-rigious. You'd rather read than be at a
fair but that's ok because that's who you are.


Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only
brought to you by Quizilla
(I think these quizzes are trying to tell me something)
Plus,if I forgot to mention..I'm sick..and it sucks o.O I took some fucking meds on an empty stomach(cuz I never eat nothin)And no I'm regretting it..I'm sneezing and sniffling and I'm crying like all the time,cuz my eyes hurt like fuck!My mom thinks I'm going through a breakdown or something.I hate this..someone shoot me and rid me of this pain,please ~.~
Oh yeah and check out my new KH fanart plz and vote and leave comments and shit
over and out!
*~Lissa-Ann~*<--(friend Em has started calling me that..middle name is Ann,for those who dont know)
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Saturday, April 2, 2005

   Your eyes were covered in sunglasses when they first met mine,I sat there and stared at you,you didnt seem to mind..
I love that song..I Don't Wanna Know by New Found Glory..a tearjerker,the video anyways..I know,I know,I'm weird..but I am very sensitive to certain things,so deal with it.
But this post has nothing to do with New Found Glory..no,not at all..
First of all..at 11:28 last night,Leera,from Mizu-chan and my RP died..so everyone honor her death..Shadow died too..she was kickass...Now Clover has the new sexy Iji all to herself^-^[I'm such an evil person]
And the second thing..is my dream..now I have been having the same dream for the past 4 nights and its getting really annoying...I never want to sleep again Oo Here,let me explain..

It all starts out in a dark alley..lying on the ground I slowly sit up and look around..the ground is cold and there is blood on the wet concrete below me..but it isnt mine...I dont think..I look up and theres a boy standing there..in all black,with emerald eyes and big black wings..and he looks at me..as though I have done something horrible to him..tears streaming down his face..I always ask him whats wrong..but he never answers..
Next thing I know Im outside in the woods..and I've finally met my sister,Mizu-chan!But my father is sitting there yelling at me the whole time..and so is my mom..and they just keep yelling horrible things at me..Bitch,slut,whore,you name it..theyre yellin it at me..so eventually I get fed up..and I tell them to shut the hell up..my dad backhands me..mom slaps me..and I see that boy again..he looks at me with those sad,yet angry eyes again and disappears..
Next thing I wake up on my aunts lawn up in CT..my whole family is out there..yelling at me..my grandmother is saying a buncha shit about me..and my mom and dad are swearing..and it is soo loud..So I walk around to the back of the house..and my brother is there..he says "Why do you even bother,no one ever loved you in this family..we all just wish you were dead anyways" and I fucking snap..I scream at him to stay the fuck outta my life and I turn to run and theres that boy again..he is taller than me..eh,16-17..and he takes me into his arms and whispers something into my ear..and the ball of anger in my chest just melts away..and when I go to ask him what he said..I wake up T_T
How fucking weird is that?!I mean..like wow..freaking weird..I mean I knew I was weird but my dreams are just fucked up!
The reason I despise this dream so much is all the yelling..I hate being yelled at..if you knew me well enough you would understand why oO
Well,I g2g..it is now 12:35 and Mizu-chan and I are still RPing
No piccies for today...Sorry^^;;
over and out!
*~Serena-chan~*

Paine


Which Final Fantasy X-2 character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, April 1, 2005

   I will fight for you,'till my heart is black and blue
Hey everyone,wassup?My second post for today,I dont usually do two but IM BORED AS FuCk!!!Im lounging around my house in a white T(lounging in my white T,lol)and listening to a mix up of Three Days Grace,Evanescnece,Linkin Park(Hybrid Theory)Breaking Benjamin, and Michelle Branch(<--kinda sticks out dont she?^-^)I have sucha pretty voice..my family doesnt know what theyre missing,lol
Im sooooo bored..no one is online,I hate the phone so I dont call anyone and since the radio cd thingie is in the living room all I hear right now is SHUT UP SMART LITTE BITCH! from B.B
I wanna try something!

Alright well since the post this morning was crazy you should read my sister(user:WhiteWolfMizu)'s post XD we are such weird people..but weird is good..and attractive,lol
Well..want some hotness? ^-^
(Dante is soooo hot)
(such a sexy expression ^-^ Dark is always sexy ^-^)
(he he he)
(the perfect punk boyfriend look)
(an the darkness..I think Riku is just sexy^-^)
Well thats all the hotness for now..my soup is done
over and out!
*~Lis~*


Comments (3) | Permalink

   She says

You are PUNK! U like being around those who are
really close to u. You get depressed most times
but you just wanna live!You have alot of
feelings and thoughts inside that you keep to
yourself! sometimes you dont know who to trust.
You have friends that believe in you and know the
real you, which means the most.
Thanks, please rate


Are you GOTHIC, PREP, PUNK,UNIQUE (girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla
Stranger Inside Lyrics

This day could be the worst one yet
I just won't relax I can't catch my breath
Because I'm sick and tired of you'll be fine
Well how do you know, can you read minds
So take while you can so you can meet demands
My insanity is what you thrive on
So rip it from my soul, so everyone will know in the end
We were never friends
Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die
Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside
Don't push your ignorance on me
I'm not unrehearsed to your jealousy
And I know you think I don't see the signs
Well how do you know, do I look blind
So take it while you can so you can meet demands
My breakdown is what you thrive on
So rip it from my soul so everyone will know in the end
I'm the break you're the bend

Emi:Well this kinda suits whats going on in my Rp right now with Mizu-chan
Serena:Yesh,that slutty daughter of mine
Shadow:Thats what happens when you mix four parents into one XD
Leera:Not my fault Im beautiful!!
Serena:Shuddup!
Shadow:Yeah,whore,shut up
Leera:Fine! -.-
Emi:he he anyways dont mind them,theyre having a family conflict..though I am mad at you Leera,you broke Iji's heart,made him feel like nothing..how do you just tell someone you dont love them anymore?!I mean,if the one I loved said that to me..my world would crumble T_T
Serena:I can only imagine how Iji feels..Leera you made a grown man cry!
Leera:...
Shadow:We are all so screwed up
Leera/Serena/Shadow:*nod*
Emi:Well you're my charries and I put a little of myself into you..so are you calling me screwed up?!
Serena:...
Leera:....
Shadow:...yes...
Emi:*glares at them*Last time I ask you for your thoughts -.- + Anyways..its like about 1 in the morning and I have had waaaaay too much sugar
Clover:Leera,I dont know whats wrong with you,but Iji is super sexy ^_~
Leera: O.O W-what?!?!
Clover:^-^
Emi:*holding back Leera*Well,um we should all go now ^^;;talk to everyone later!
over and out!
*~Emi~*
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, March 31, 2005

   I must be running out of luck,Cause you're just not drunk enough to fuck

These are some doodles I did the other day in my new best friend,Da Little Black Book of Death(which is really only my little sketchbook,which is black,but my mom calls it that..i bring it everywhere now and write/draw everything)
Yesterday I had the time of my life with the horses.The stable boy,Keith is 19,with long brown hair,green eyes and he's a lot taller than me T_T lol but I'm just short to begin with.But he says Im as tall as I feel.LOL what if I even feel short?!So yeah,he was nice.He's here visiting from Virginia and his grandfather owns the campground so he got assigned to stable duty,but he doesnt really mind cuz he loves horses.So yes I did get to ride Starrunner and what a charming horse he is!He loved it when i just stood in his stall and rubbed his nose with my cheek against his..they're such affectionate animals ^-^ I love being gentle with animals AND people,and thats why I love horses,because the'll welcome anyone with a tender,gentle touch like mine.
Well here are some lyrics,actually the ones to my background music.Even though the person that this song makes me think of will most likely hate the song,I dont care ^-^

"Hanging By A Moment"

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where I Started
Chasing after you

I’m falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you

forgetting all I’m lacking
completely and complete
I’ll take your invitation
you take all of me

now.. I’m falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you

I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
I don't know what I’m diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you

there's nothing left to lose
nothing left to fly
there is nothing in the world that can change my mind
there is nothing else
there is nothing else..

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where I Started
Chasing after you

I’m falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you

I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
I don't know what I’m diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you

just hanging by a moment
hanging by a moment..
Hanging by a moment...
hanging by a moment here with you...

(is that sexy or what?! ^///^ Of course it's Chester Bennington,just about the hottest man alive,there's only one man who is sexier than him and he knows who he is -^-^-)
over and out!
*~Serena-chan~*
Comments (5) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

   I am of what you make me feel..Right now,I feel invisible to you...
*yawns and stretches*G'morning everyone..amazing,right?I actually went to sleep last night and STAYED asleep..maybe the insomnia is wearing off..people do say you can grow out of it.Well right now I am alone in my house..I always love being alone..the knowledge of no other being(besides the three dogs,two hamsters,and one cat)makes me feel at ease..I can be more myself when no one is around.I got so tired of my puppy(Rosie,whom is 15 years old,one year older than me ^^;;)trying to lick me in the face and wake me up,being that she thought something was wrong with me,sleeping in like this.Maybe there is o.O Well this is my lil puppy Alex,who loves me to no end:

And these are Rosie and Weenie(Weenie is the fat one^-^)

Rosie is my puppy ever since my dog,Poncho,died..I was upset for weeks and my parents let me call Rosie my own..then she was lonely when Poncho died so we got Weenie..but Weenie was just a puppy and wanted someone to play with,so we got Alex,who isnt really a Dacshund,but he is a mix between a weenie dog and those dogs with the feathers on their ears(couldnt spell the name if my life depended on it x.x)
Anyways,Im done rambling on about my dogs,who cares right?Well I really dont have much more to talk about so most likely I would end up rambling on about somthing soo stupid that people would even reach the comment link,something like the horses Im going back to visit today...I cant wait..I'll tell everyone how it goes,kay?Gram says there's this stable boy she talked to who might be able to pull a few strings and let my ride the one I liked,the black one named Starrunner(yes like the book,if you've ever read it..good book by the way)So maybe I get to meet the stable boy and ride Starrunner for awhile..I love riding horses^-^
well,over and out^^

*~Serena-chan~*
Comments (9) | Permalink

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

   ^-^

You are the Spirit of Sadness. Deep pain and sorrow
lie within you, betrayal, jealousy and
rejection rule your life. You cannot make
friends as you are too scared at the prospect
of being hurt again and you can't take that
risk. You wish more than anything to have a
steady person there who loves you
unconditionally but you are too scared to find
them.


Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla


[drew this yesterday,Takumi-san fixed it up for me^-^]
Today I got up early and went to the mall with my grandmother and mom..they really know nothing about me..I got the first volume of Crescent Moon,which is very interesting..and a new sketchbook.They tried to buy me crap clothes and I went straight to Hot Topic.
Then we went over to the campground theyre staying at and I left them and went to the barn where the horses were..if you didnt know,I <3(<--heart he he)horses.Even though this sounds really retarded I was actually singing to the horses and eventually they accepted me being there and I climbed into one of the stalls and was brushing one of them..It was so kewl..I can be so happy when other people arent around^-^
Well I hope everyone has a good day...I hope to catch someone special tonight online so I can talk to him...well*hugs everyone*
over and out^-^

*~Serena-chan~*
Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, March 28, 2005

   ...

It's a lil late..but I did that yesterday..wat do ya guys think?
I am sad to inform you my heart is all twisted in a tie..everything has lost its color..food has not taste...something is wrong with me..I want the pain to go away..but I dont know how..I just want it gone,Im so sick of this..two days it has been going on and I'm so sick of it..like a toothache of the mind..I just want the pain to go away..
over and out
*~Serena-chan~*
Comments (6) | Permalink

Sunday, March 27, 2005

   HAPPY EASTER!!

This is for my friend Takumi-san^-^ Hope you like it*thumbs up*

And thhhiiisss is for my sister-wolf Mizu-chan*hugs*Hope ya like it Mizu-chan!!(its Rounin and cheza^_~)
Life has been Hell with my granparents here..they think I have no idea what color is just because all I ever wear is black..please someone,save me o.o
I wanted to send a special thanks out to Mizu-chan and Takumi-san for sending me Easter gifts/cards,you guys are the best^-^

Your Hidden Power Is Dark
Angel

You have a Evil and Demonic Soul. You use your
hidden powers for the evil of hell. You are in
constent war with the heavans for you want to
destroy the pathetic humans were they want to
save them. For all people see in you is that
any emotion expecially love is a waste of your
time but your so mysterious that people don't
know you do have a shy emotions that are kept
locked within you.

Gem Stone:Black Pearl, Eye
Color:Black,Hair Color:Black with
Grey Streaks that is down to your waist pulled
in a braid

Quote:You said you read me like a book
but the pages are all torn and frayed


What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla

What Does Your Inner Soul Look Like?::male and female pics:: by angel_drifter
Name:
Favorite Colors:
What your Inner Soul Looks Like:
Your Weakness:	Love
What you Are:	Angel
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Elemental Goddess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


I hope everyone has a good Easter
over and out
*~Serena-chan~*
Comments (8) | Permalink