Saturday, March 26, 2005

   DuStYdUsTy

This is for my friend Takumi-san..hope ya like it^^

Tonight was horrible..and I felt horrible..it was crazy..like an emotional break-down..but thanks to Mizu-chan I'm okay now.(you're the best Mizu*hugs*)
My grandparents are here...they've come all the way from Arizona..they called me from the local Walmart telling us they were here and should be coming over later.But,the only problem is,these people hate me.They think I'm evil and that I should be in therapy 24/7..good thing they dont know I used to be a cutter,huh?So,I'm going to wear all black and every chain and article of black Punkness I own while theyre here.Because,frankly,I dont like the people much either.A hate-on-hate kinda thing I suppose^-^

Isn't Dark just soooo hot?~^-^~
*~Serena~*
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Friday, March 25, 2005

   ....

Your element is Earth: Stubborn and loyal, you tend
to want to nurture others and you are the
person friends always come to for advice or
just someone to listen. You do not easily show
your emotions in most settings, but you try to
help. Often thought of as stable and practical
you can have trouble with non-tangible ideas.
You are skilled with/like using your hands and
I hate to say it because of the pun, but you
are down to earth. Without you and others like
you, people would be flying off the edge. A
sure voice of sanity in this crazy world, you
are strong in your silence and if you set your
mind on something, you will often pursue it to
the end. Sometimes though; you just want to
get away, but no matter what happens, the earth
keeps turning.


What's your Element?
brought to you by Quizilla
Nothing much to say...my hands are blue..we were dying Easter Eggs and I just stuck my hands in the dye..now theyre all blue...they look kinda kewl..my friend Lucas kept poking me today just to make me giggle...I hate when people do that..yes I am extremely ticklish..but making me giggle..ahh..so annoying...Spring Break starts today..a whole week of no sleeping,poetry,and drawing...hope I dont get lonely..
*~Serena~*
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Thursday, March 24, 2005

   charrie...

Hey everyone..nuthin happenin really 'round here.Im going out for cheerleading as a big joke and all the cheerleaders are about ready to slit my throat.Its funny.I know Im not gonna make it and Im not pretty enough to be a cheerleader.Guess they have no sense of humor.
Well Im gonna share with you a charrie bio from one of my Rp's with my sister-wolf Mizu-chan.Hope ya guys like it.

Name: Whisper
Age: 16
Race: Forest Fairy/Dark Fairy
Eye Color: Deep lavender with violet specks that change due to the atmosphere in the forest and the weather/ Dark hazy grey that express no emotion whatsoever
Hair Color: Dark violet color that can appear black or blue in darkened places/Grayish blue, plain and bland
Past: Living with her close family, life had been but a Paradise. There weren’t wars or fighting. Just pure serenity through out the woods. Until one day the Nobles began destroying the forests, building their towns and palaces over them. Whispers bloodline of fairies was completely destroyed and she is the only one left of her family. She lives alone in the Enchanted woods near Darcia’s castle, only wishing to be left in peace to mourn her dead family members as a dark fairy. Changing from a normal spirited forest fairy to a dark fairy she lost emotions, such as love and joy and now she protects her family’s home, attacking anyone who intrudes on the sacred grounds.
Appearance: She usually wears a short green skirt with ivy vines to tie up her long hair. She wears a silver bracelet around her right wrist, which used to be her mother’s. On her back, inbetween her shoulder blades there is a tattoo of black wings. She has a scar on her left eyebrow, though her bangs usually cover it, from where she got hit with Darcia’s very blade as he went to kill her./ Usually in a long, flowing black dress, everything she wears is always black. She has black feathered wings that appear from her tattoos and her silver bracelet changes into a dog-collar like necklace whenever she is in her dark form, with silver spikes. A black crescent moon appears on her forehead and her eyes may turn red whenever she is angered.
Personality: Whisper is usually quiet and shy, keeping to herself most of the time. She doesn’t get angered easily and refuses to cry in front of any other living soul. She likes peaceful shadowed places in her homeland woods and does not trust others easily./Not much different from how she normally is, though a little quick tempered…she never gives up once in battle and likes to fight alone and live alone…rather than be in a large or small group.
Weapon of Choice: She prefers to use her magic (both light and dark) but also uses the elements around her as weapons

*~Serena~*
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Monday, March 21, 2005

If You Could Only See - Tonic

My mother wants me to be a tatoo artist. Wtf,right? I did some little sketch but it wont load up onto photobuckets.com so whatever,guess you guys can't see it.
Finally, a day when I can come stright home. No soccer,band, or Jr. Beta. What a fucking relief.
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words yesterday. It helped to know that you guys care...I was beginning to doubt anyone cared. A song to end this short post:
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Well you got your reasons
And you got your lies
And you got your manipulations
They cut me down to size
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
Seems the road less traveled
Show's happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
That's what you gotta do
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can

*~Serena~*




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Sunday, March 20, 2005

...


I have not been around lately,I am aware of this. My life,its taken quite the down-hiller. My friends are beginning to realize the true person I really am and for that, a lot of fights have been breaking out between them and I. My mother and I have been in a battle for about 2 days now about therapy again,because of the cuts on my arm that she found. No one said I was the one who put those cuts there, then again no one said I wasnt the one who did it. I have a built up anger inside of me and a terrible feeling in my chest all the time now. I want to tell someone about it,exactly what it is,because believe me I know what it is, but not even my best friend seems like someone I can tell. I seem angry all the time now. I dont know why this is, or why Im like I am, I just know what is making me feel this way. Im sure no one here understands what I'm saying.

My mother spoke to me of my father and I realized I dont know this man anymore. He has been gone for long that he doesnt even seem real anymore. He's just a topic for this family's discussion. I hate him even more,knowing he isnt even real to this family anymore...or to me at least.
My AOL has been acting up and I havent been able to talk to the person I know could make at least some of this confusin go away,maybe I can get in contact with him soon,before something happens.What that someting is,Im not sure.

*~Serena~*
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

   ...
It is so cold
And dark
I feel so alone
And empty
You brought such joy
And were so selfish to take it away
You gave me a light
While all others were out
For a brief moment
I felt no pain
I fell in love with you
I was blind
But now I see
You hold as much pain as me
I do not love you any less
If anything
I love you more each day
I was selfish to want you to always make me happy
And didn’t even care to see the pain in your eyes
I try so hard to make you smile
Make you see life is worth while
That the world isn’t so bad
Make you forget the horrors you’ve had
But how can someone who does not believe in hope
Help someone else to see?
How can someone with just as much pain
Take someone elses all away
And try to set them free?

A poem I wrote.Have a game tomorrow.Feel like shit.Want to lay down and die.Home alone at the moment.Silence.A dangerous silence.I need something to do.ttyl
*~Serena~*

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hey everyone...all of my friends have like stopped talking to me...like I've done something wrong.My friend Ian,whom I talk to EVERY morning and is like my B.F.F refuses to speak to me lately.All my friend Emily ever thinks about is her 50 million boyfriends.And my ABG hasnt been on(miss him terribly as you all can tell)and I cant rhyme worth crap!
And one of my super good friends up in CT managed to tell me she didnt care if I became a cutter again or not...which was a little upsetting...

Soccer tournament AGAIN today..if we win today we play again on Friday.If we dont the season is over. I dont care if we win or lose. I just want to play.I gotta go iron my uniform. TTYL
*~Serena~*
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Sunday, March 13, 2005

...

A cool autumn day
all nice and breezy
a small red leaf dangles
just taking it easy
out of no where
a gust of wind blows
the tiny leaf falls
he is helpless,so it shows
a girl sits in her room
ready to get high
one puff and she's falling
like the leaf in the sky
both of them are fading
their lives out of control
once you've lost one part of yourself
never again can you be a whole
dearest wind cradles the leaf
keeping him airborne
the girl bites her lower lip
knowing she's completly forlorn
though the leaf seems saved
floating in the air
it is still falling
and must come down somewhere
the girl is barely hanging on
biting her tongue 'till it bleeds
this may very well be her last trip
help is what is lost
a miracle is what she needs
the wind stops blowing
the leaf is falling
the girl's eyes close
her heart is stalling
joining his dead brother's
the leaf loses all he had
his death was nothing more
than an autumn day gone bad
when her family finds her here
the girl will be dead
her suicide was nothing more
than the taunting thoughts in her head
In the end
my dearest friend
everything that goes up
must eventually in time
fall slowly to the ground
and come down

I hate this poem,but here it is anyways.I am going to the mall with my stalker Andrew and Emily today...and I haveta finish a project for language arts...Hope you guys have a good day
*~Serena~*
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Saturday, March 12, 2005

...

Hey everyone..I spent the night at Emily's last night and we walked up and down the street in the dark 'till it was about 2 AM. I coulda sworn someone was following us,but ya know I always have that feeling...I have another game today..against St. Francis...hope theyre better than the people we played yesterday..we won...8-0...and someone kicked me in my knee that is all bruised and everything..and I didnt want to tell Em(because I hate complaining)but I think my knee and my ankle are swollen...Like my shoe on my left foot is tighter and theyre all red..theyre hurt like hell..Ive had the heating pad on both of them since I got home and my mom left(dont want to tell her either) and Im hoping it will make them better..Im playing today,no matter what...a little pain never hurt anyone...

Okay anyways..I talked to my ABG on the phone yesterday..that was fun...I guess..I mean..for all of you who dont know,I am extremely shy..so yeah..like my new background? That is From First To Last..buncha hotties arent they? Well I gotta go iron my uniform before my mom gets home..hope everyone has a good dayand hopefully I will make it through the game without a broken ankle or an asthma attack right?

*~Serena~*

If you girls could PM that would be great..I have a question for you all...
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Friday, March 11, 2005

   ...
Cant stay long..game today..sleeping over Em's...still wearing Taylor's hoody..working on a poem for you guys..big bruise on my leg..gotta 2 outta 5 (1 being the highest,5 the lowest)score for band competion...not much else to say..
GO BOBCATS! lol
Love you ABG*hugs*
*~Serena~*
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