Wednesday, March 9, 2005

   Wasting My Time(by:Default)
Well I don't want to see you waiting
I've already gone too far away
I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again
Woah again

Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time again
Woah again

See you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting...

this came on launch the other day and I was like omg I havent heard this song in forever,so yeah..I like these lyrics and this song,both of them rawk. So today was boring as usual..but guess what? My friend Taylor lemme keep his hoody..now let me explain my theory...
All teenage guys have his scent..I dont know how to describe it,or what it is,but it is simply enticing,like you could get high off of it..and his hoody smells like it..now Emily and I went around and smelled a bunch of other guys hoodies and they smelled exactly the same..so I think guys share this smell..It is WONDERFUL..lol..*sniffs hoody*I love it..
In other news,band festival tomorrow(which is a big competiotion)but we get home at like 4:30,then I have soccer practice..ahh someone shoot me please -.-so yeah...I think our band will do okay.but who knows..band sucks
everyone wave to my ABG*waves*
Love you ABG
*~Serena~*

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   Vindicated(by:Dashboard Confessional)
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

I cant stay for long,but I want everyone to say hi to my ABG cuz he's back,yay!*waves to ABG*
I have a soccer game against our rival skewl AND an important band concert all tonight,one after the other..Its going to be a living Hell..but thats okay,we'll kick major ass in the game..I dunno about the concert..I hate band anyways ~^-^~
I love my ABG*hugs*
*~Serena~*

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Monday, March 7, 2005

   Ugly(by:The Exies)
Are you ugly?
A liar like me?
A user, a lost soul?
Someone you don’t know
Money it’s no cure
A Sickness so pure
Are you like me?
Are you ugly?
We are dirt, we are alone
you know we are far from sober!
We are fake, we are afraid
you know it’s far from over
We are dirt we are alone
you know we are far from sober!
Look closer, are you like me?
Are you ugly?
Turn a blind eye
why do I deny?
Medicate me
so I die Happy
a strain of cancer
Chokes the answers
are you like me?
A liar like me?
I don’t care, you don’t care
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
You love you, just like me
I blame you, you blame me
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
you love you, like me
Are you Ugly?


I like this song..I hope everyone had a good weekend..Em and I went to go see the Pacifier...ahh Vin Diesel is sexy ~^-^~ Chester Bennington(lead singer of Linkin Park) and Vin Diesel both share spot #2 on my hot guys list..and of course my ABG is number 1..I still miss him..
I have stupid soccer practice today..*sigh*I dont wanna go...my legs ache..I was out all yesterday running around..I need a break sometime..oh well...I guess thats what skewl is for..he he
Miss and love you ABG,
*~Serena~*
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Saturday, March 5, 2005

   Promise(by:Matchbook Romance)
What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go
And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right
I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy
I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me
I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy
I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

*sad sigh*This reminds me of my ABG and he isnt here right now...I'm so depressed and lonely..Okay not really,i Just miss him..anyways...
We won our game yesterday 5-1..I almots got into a fight..he he..that girl was lucky my fiend Carson was standing inbetween her and I because she woulda been on the ground with blood running down her face in a heartbeat...I did practically kill myself yesterday(fucking asthma)I came home after the game and lied on the floor for like an hour..lol..it helps me breathe better....yesterday was 3 of my best friends birthday...that was crazy..but I managed...so how is everyone? You guys like the changes I made on my site? The new music is Someday by NickelBack in case ya didn't know..right now I'm listening to Stacy's Mom..wouldnt it suck if your boyfriend was in love with your mother? FREAKY! My mom is evil,I dont see how my father can possibly love her..well I mean my father is no better! Their daughter is the only non-evil one in this family! Even my brother is evil! I'm surrounded in evilness..help me...I dont belong here! << >> okay I'm done..well I think the french fries I am cooking are done..yes I randomly eat french fries when I get hungry..which I wouldnt normally do but I need to gain weight because Im practically a fucking anorexic!SO yeah..lol
hope everyone has a good day..oh and if you all could do me a big favor and go to my friend Kazukosan's site,that would be great and I would really appreciate it if you would sign her GB too..thanks guys,you're the best!
I miss and love my ABG
*~Serena~*
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Friday, March 4, 2005

   Love...

What Kind of Kiss Are You? (for guys & girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

he he..I like those results,because I'm such a shy person and everything..anyways..
I have another game today..yay...?I guess I wanna play,then I dont..I dont wanna wear my jersey to skewl but I wanna kick some major ass...well this is what I get for joining the team...
so,everyone say hello to ABG*waves*anyways,lol..I've been listening to Three Days Grace since I kinda woke up(I went to sleep like an hour before that)and I'm still not bored with it..maybe I should put on breaking benjamin..I love their song Rain..ever heard it? Love it...alright well I gotta go iron my jersey and stuff,so ttyl!
Love you ABG!
*~Serena~*
p.s-can you guys check out my new fan-art and comment please? thank you^-^
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Thursday, March 3, 2005

   My Reply(The Ataris:So Long Astoria)
My Reply

I got your letter and the poetry you sent me
Postmarked in December of last year
I really hope you're doing better
All of your friends close by your side
One step closer to recovery

I wish there was something I could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through
Even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but can't accept this thank-you note
That’s sealed with your last breath
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up

If you'll just hold on for one more second
Just hold on to what you have
If you'll just hold on, just hold on
You will wake up tomorrow

These arms remain stretched out to you
Maybe someday you'll accept them
Or maybe its too late to save a young girls heart that's long stopped beating

Wake up, wake up you've gotta believe
Wake up, wake up you cant give up
Time keeps going on without us
Long after we're dead and gone

I wish there was something I could say
To erase each and every page
You've been through
Even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but can't accept this thank-you note
That’s sealed with your last breath
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up

If you'll just hold on for one more second
Just hold on to what you have
If you'll just hold on, just hold on
You will wake up tomorrow

I have this CD and I like this song and a few others...its old,but wth...so how is everyone?I'm fine for everyone who cares...I got after skewl band practice today(yes I play the stupid flute and yes I have seen American Pie)my boyfriend brought that to my attention one day...I'm not gonne tell you who he is,because what guy wants his crazy girlfriend embarrassing him right? Im not that evil..soooo..his new nickname is Anonymous Boyfriend Guy(ABG)lol...everyone say wave hi to my ABG.*waves*...okay that has nothing to do with anything...I cant wait 'till this weekend...then I have so much more time for myself..I like having time to myself,though I hate being alone...anyways..
I'll talk to you guys later,kay?*waves*
Love you ABG
~Serena~
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Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Lonely...
I looked out the bus window
Watched the trees dancing past
My mind could not concentrate
The world was going by way too fast
I began to shiver
Though I wasnt cold
Loneliness stared me in the face
Though t'was a stare I could not hold
Abandonment prickled up my arms
I tried to make it go away
A lost feeling whispered in my mind
I tried not to listen to what it had to say
Everyone around me
Laughing
Giggling
Having fun
But I am no where close
To being like 'everyone'
A broken past, a foggy future
I dont know where im going
I know not of true love or joy
I dont think i can go on not knowing
I hugged my arms around me tight
This empty feeling just didnt seem right
I choked back tears
Hoping the sadness would not shine through
What more can i say?
I miss you...

okay,so my mind tends to wander when I'm alone...I was very lonely on the bus yesterday...I basically hate everyone on both the girl's and guy's teams...the loving,dreamy feeling has not gone away,if thats what you were thinking...it's not gonna go away...
I didn't get home 'till late last night cuz our stupid bus was late...and it was COLD...the wind was blowing and everything..good thing I brought my jacket..but Meg didnt bring hers so she was trying to nest herself in mine..and you all know how I am about the whole people-touching-me issue..so I was very uncomfortable with her growing off my side..but w/e...
I g2g finish up some stupid skewl project...ttyl
¢¾Serena¢¾

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Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   Dear Friend...
My heart is such a fragile thing
Why, dear friend, do you want it to break?
All your beautiful words, just a lie
Was this love I felt just a mistake?
Don't count on me
I will let you down
I will fill you with hate
Please don't love me
This is not how love is supposed to be
Tainted and evil
Breaking, splintering, falling apart
My tender thoughts
And my heart
I bring just a burden
To this poor, unloved world
I am just a worthless shadow
Barely even a girl
Can you see me?
Feel me in yours arms somehow?
I'm screaming and crying your name
Can you hear me now?
Am I all alone?
Just not meant for love?
Am I meant for Hell below
Or the heavens up above?
Will you keep me here with you?
Is that something you would do?
Please keep me here
For just one more night
Nothing is close to better
Nor ever alright
Dear friend
As I see it in my view
Do you want my heart to break
Just for you?

this poem really has nothing to do with whats going on in my life..but i wrote it anyways...i submitted a new fanart, hopefully it will make it...
for all those who were worried, I am not on the verge of suicide, Im not going to kill myself, im not going to do anything stupid, so let you worries be at ease. im fine, really i am. my life took a plunge and someone brought it right back up for me...i send my love to him.
if you want to know how i feel, its not depressed, angry, or anything of that sort...i feel loved and dreamy...and im not waking up
¢¾Serena¢¾

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Monday, February 28, 2005

Reaching Out...
In the glassy haven
Full of thoughts and dreams
Nothing is always true
Nor just what it seems
A mirror's reflection
Taunts my mind
Everywhere I turn
Another me I find
Which one is real
And which are fake
Can you help me?
Make the mirrors break?
Lies and hate float above
These bitter emotions, all mine
The cover-up I applied
When I said everything was fine
Mom always told me not to fall for love
You would only make my cry and hurt
But my feelings for you are nothing short of love
Though I know Mom wishes they weren't
I'm reaching out past this burdening dream
Something I know I must do
I'm reaching past my life and through my heart
I'm reaching out to you
Should I wake up
Would you leave me alone?
To only wish you were here
And regret not expressing the love I shoulda shown?
Please don't shake me
Please don't wake me
I am too deep asleep
To ever want to be awoken
Take my hand, hold it tight
Love is our token
To never waking up
In the glassy haven
Of nothing that is what it seems
I know our sweet moments together
Are never just dreams...

I wrote this last night whilest I was up thinking to myself...it is for someone very special to me..I hope he likes it...if I were a better poet I could explain this feeling perfectly with my words...oh well...
My chest is sore and so are my legs...but I feel a little better...my headache is almost gone and I think my stomach has finally settled...it rained really hard last night...god,I love the rain...I wish it would rain today...looks like it just might...
And Rene..if/when you read this,could you check your PM's if you havent already...its really important to me that you do...
¢¾Serena¢¾
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Sunday, February 27, 2005

   The quiz speaks the truth...

What Personality Do You Have?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

so we came in second place..woot woot..and as soon as i got home i was sick as a dog...my head was burning like the sahara desert..i couldnt go 10 min without vomitting..and my eyes were all blurry and tear filled..i think i over medicated myself with my inhaler..goddamned asthma..but i played pretty hard yesterday..i was thrown into a goal post,tripped by some s.ob. like three times just because i was better than her,and my own team mate kicked a soccer ball as hard as she could into my leg..so now i am stiff and sore,covered in bruises and bloody cuts..and my head and stomach still ache..but hey..2nd isnt that bad...
and i think im living a dream...
¢¾Serena¢¾
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