Sunday, December 26, 2004

   We're through...
Hope everyone had a nice holiday...this song here is one I used to be able to relate to..but not anymore..it's like 12:43 and I'm not even close to tired...but anyways here's the song I'm gonna go write for awhile...
"Through With You"

Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it

And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well

And how long has it been
Since someone you let in
Has given what I gave to you

And at night when you sleep
Do you dream I would be there
Just for a minute or two do you?

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Heartache heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I'm through with you

thanks maroon 5 for such a heart warming song
~Serena(Kitten to the one who knows me best)~

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Saturday, December 25, 2004

   Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas to everyone...and if you dont celebrate Christmas than happy Holidays^^Today,no gut wretching poetyr..just my favorite song of all time...I Dont Want To Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you’re far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
Cause I’d miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I’m wondering what you’re dreaming
Wondering if it’s me you’re seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we’re together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
Cause I’d miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing

I don’t want to miss one smile
I don’t want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
Cause I’d miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing

Don’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
I don’t want to miss a thing

This is my favorite song of alll time and I love it to death. Well everyone,have a nice holiday
~Serena~

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Friday, December 24, 2004

   Please...

You're an abandoned/lost kitty. First happy on what
was going on but later ended up getting rid of.
You are trustworthy and sweet. You can keep
many secrets which shows how great of a friend
you are. You dont talk much maybe afraid what
people will think about what you just said
You've met many people who is great to you but
ended up finding one special person. Sadly they
just left you there not caring. Feeling sad and
lost you feel heartbrokened at times but dont
worry it'll get better soon.


What kind of Kitty are you? Anime pics girlies only
brought to you by Quizilla

I watched the shadows on the ground
I didnt even mutter the littelest sound
You patted my back and gave me that smile
The smile that told me pain would fallow in awhile
Those stupid belive didnt see the bruises on my skin
They didnt even ponder the thought of your sin
When they got up and said goodbye
I was so numb with fear that I wasnt sure I was still alive
The door closed, my heart stopped
You caressed my cheek and kissed my head
I didnt even listen to thw tender words you said
Next thing I knew,there was blood on my cheek
Your eyes were so mad and I felt so weak
I didnt try to stop you,I let you abuse me
At least the pain wasnt as bad as it used to be
Then you were gone and I was alone
I had let you have me again
Im not even sure anymore if there is such a thing as loving men
The carpet seemed to scratch up my fragile body
My insiane laughing is beginning to sound oh so cocky
Do you like to leave me like this is pain?
There are so many things about you I cant explain
Those couldnt be tears falling down my face
Not is this dark,cold,lonely place
Is that you walking in my friend?
Have you come to me 'till the end?
Please dont try and call for help
I am already gone
You cant help the hurt that has been here for so long
Please just stay here 'till I close my eyes
'Till I take my last breath and my faith dies
Please...
Just stay...
And never ever...
Fade away...
Please...
~Serena~
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Thursday, December 23, 2004

   Help...
Seized by happiness and fantasy, we lead our lives by enjoying every last bit. But people do not see, do not think, do not wonder what happens when it all go wrong. The lies, the deciet, everything hits us all at once. leaving u breathless for the time being. Then the pain begins to flicker, a fir of disease that burns us from the inside out. We cant think, cant feel, cant explain, nothing, nothing put the pain. We cry for help, scream for someone, anyone to rescue us. But in the end all of you will see...there is no one. No one cares about you nor care about me, no one but themselves. And when we're all dying deep inside, how can we possibly help one another? There is no hope you pathetic beings, there is no happiness, all of it, lies! So I stand here, all alone, when no one listens to my pleas. How can I make you listen when n one truly sees? I am the only only one who knows the truth and in the end, my pathetic friend, you will wish you would have listened. I am a person and you are not. We are different, cant you see? YOU ARE NOT ME!
But you see my dear friends, I am a defect in society.I take what is supposed to happen and bend it from the Boulevard of Broken Dreams to a place where everything just seems okay. So I just want you all to know..if you ever want to talk..I'll be here...pm or aim...any way possible...I'll help...because I know what its like to just to need to be able to help. Consider me a friend...and I keep secrets very well...so you can trust me...consider me a silent shadow...
~Serena(Kitten to the one who knows me best)~
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

   Broken
Hair tumbles down and sits on my shoulders
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholders
Eyes are bright, blue as the sky
Shining and shimmering 'till the day I die
Arms crossed across my chest
Hugging myself tight from all the rest
Cheeks are damp and stained
I dont know why I feel so ashamed
Legs are trembling, going weak
My pain is quickly climbing to its peak
I dont know what to see
I dont know what to hear
Am I supposed to be this cold?
Everything is so foreign and queer
I am slowly
Breaking down
Falling, falling
Waiting to hit the ground
I may not be the person I used to be
But please old friend
Wont you help me?

I am broken when I am lonesome...
~Serena~
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

   Love...
I've been saved...*sighs dreamily*Love is the ultimate saviour...

It was all I could stand
Trying not to cry
Mommy said she loved you
Before you sad goodbye
But where is my hug?
Daddy I am here
Don’t I get a kiss like mommy?
Daddy please hold me dear
I may not be perfect
I may not be smart
But daddy don’t you love me?
Don’t you hold me in your heart?
I'm your little girl
Same as before
I might not look the same
But can't you love me anymore?
I know you don’t like the black clothes
I know you don’t like the chains
I know you hate my attitude
I know you hate my silence when it rains
But you can't push appearance aside
And love the person that I am inside
Wont you at least smile at me?
I can't help that I'm not the person I used to be
But now you’re gone
And I know you hate me
You left without a care for me
I'm sorry I am this way
Dammit, I'm sorry I am me!
But couldn’t you love me anyways?
Why do you hate me so much?!
Don’t you know me daddy?
I'm your little girl
Don’t you care daddy?
Don’t you care
At all?

doesnt fit my perfectly blissful mood but i wrote this awhile ago after my dad left for bahrain...both my parents hate me..but i dont need their love. i have my shadow dragon...it still has tears stains on it...*sighs softly*it really sux..but my friend cried when she heard it..so i figured id give my post a little drama...
i send all my love to my shadow dragon..xo xo kitten
~Serena~
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Monday, December 20, 2004

   Lay your hands on me one last time...
this song describes my day perfectly..thanks to breaking benjamin for such a touching song:

BREAKING BENJAMIN LYRICS

"So Cold"

Crowded streets are cleared away
One by One
Hollow heroes separate
As they run

You're so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

[Chorus]

Show me how it ends it's alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfied and empty inside
That's alright, let's give this another try

If you find your family, don't you cry
In this land of make-believe, dead and dry

You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me one last time

[Chorus x2]

It's alright [x9]

~Serena~
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Sunday, December 19, 2004

hey everybody i got the card back after bunches of begging on my knees. not a lot has happened really...'cept on friday i was feeling really down and before we left for the break my friend james came up and gave me a hug i mean he picked me up and twirled me around..that made my whole weekend^^(fyi james is gay,but still it was nice)so yeah...i had to write a winter poem for my lit. class and everyone was like OO when i was done..it was kinda like this:
Serena:*finishes poem and looks up to class*
Class:OO
Chris:OMG there wasnt any shadows or death in her poem!
Megan:Wow Serena...
Trevor:Maybe shes changing
Chris:*dramatically*shes coming out into the light
Megan:(chris is her bf)*rolls eyes*
Serena:*hops down from stool and says*Well if you guys want to hear my other poem..
Class:NO!
Serena:*smiles deviously*Suit yourselves

he he but yeah here's my winter poem:
Have you ever

have you ever seen the way
the snow sticks to the ground
such a glorious thing falls
and doesnt make a sound
have you ever felt the way
the snow melts on your hand
the way the flurries enclose upon you
as you walk through a winter wonderland
have you ever observed the way
the earth becomes damp and dank
and the sun soaks up the ice
like nature's tears once drank(thanx secily^^)
have you ever savored the way
winter tastes of a great treat
and of the chestnuts are roasted just right
your tastebuds will be covered in a tasteful sheet
have you ever heard the way
the birds chirrup gaily
telling the world of the impeccable winter
about the gray sky that hangs over daily
have you ever just wondered
where the snow goes
when the earth changes places
i suppose, no one knows
but that is why we enjoy it
and try to make it last
hoping the snow continues to fall
hoping it doesnt go by to fast

~Serena~

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Thursday, December 16, 2004

Innocence
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
Because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
And a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
And read it to his aunts
That was the year father Tracy
Took all the kids to the zoo
And let Them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
With tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a valentine signed with a row of X’s
And he had to ask his father what the X’s meant
And his father always tucked him into bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
Because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
And asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
Because of its new paint
And the kids told him
That father Tracy smoked cigars
And left the butts on the pews
And sometimes They would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
With thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
When he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him into bed at night
And his father got mad
When he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
Because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
And a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
Because he never showed her
That was the year father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
Of the Apostle’s Creed went
And he caught his sister
Making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
Or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyways
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

that’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
because that’s what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen
~Anonymous~

you should all read the book "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" by stephen chbosky if you havent before. my favourite book. im not going crazy. im just...i dunno..i thought somthing special to me was back and in my heart again..loook,i just dont know..but i hope all of you are doing good..but remember..ill be okay^^
~Serena~

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

   Rounin The Midnight
after watching the last ep of wolfs rain again(i do that sometimes after i tape them) i have discovered how hot kiba is without a shirt...(sorry Mizu-chan ^^')but my favorite character would have to be...um..Tsume i guess..i dunno i like them all! but my absolute favorite wolf would be one no one knows! HA HA Everyone meet Rounin, the Midinght!
Rounin:*gazes at everyone from behind black bangs*
Serena:He he..hes not very social...
Rounin:...
Serena:Well anyways he's mine and no one else can have him!*hugs him*
Rounin: oO
Serena:*waves* Talk to everyone later
Rounin:later...
~Serena & Rounin~
P.S Rounin is Mizu-chan's half brother^^
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