Saturday, October 8, 2005

   You bleed just to know you're alive...

I said last post I would stay aroun and update everyday..he he*scratches back of neck and looks around innocently*I've been here the whole time, what are you talking about?!
>^________^<
No, really, I'm going to try to update more often, now that my sissy Shmizu ish back! I'm going to make her a new button. Her new Otaku name ish M_a_c_a_b_r_e_08 please visit her site and sign her guestbook. Thankies! Now I'm goign to work on that button and wait for my nails to dry.

*~Serena~*
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Saturday, September 10, 2005

Almost fell into the whole that is your life
Wow, been awhile hasn't it? I've been here a couple times in the past days/weeks/months and I've been readin' but not commenting, trying, but not posting, thinking, but not applying. I'm still alive (for those of you who PMed me about suicide..I'm sorry, but if I were dead, what was the point in PMing me?)
Well, being a Freshman is fun and I'll start telling everyone about how things have been going for me.Tonight when I get back from my friend's house, I'll check out everyone's sites, but I don't know how long he's gonna keep me around, so it might be late before he decides to drive me back home.I got my seventh piercinng the other day, it looks hot.I'm gonna be setting off some metal detectors ;P.
I have soccer games to ref today, but work is money and money is always fun.So I hope everyone can forgive me for not being around.
Btw, Marching Wildcats did great last night at the game, football team won 30-0.
Everybody saaaaaaaay..CHP!

F.Y.I-CHP stands for Camden High Percussion.Rawk on Camden High!



*~Elissa~*
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Thursday, August 4, 2005

Life is all about balance. Darkness can't be
without light, and light can't be without
darkness. You see everything through different
angeles to gain perspective over situations.
You act rather rational and people can find you
stiff and/or emotionless due to this. Life is
not really that good to you, yet it's not so
bad. Like everything else, you need to balance
it in order to find peace.


How do you see life?
brought to you by Quizilla

Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time, turn all the lights on over boy and every girl
Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here


I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...


Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time, this room won't be open till your brother's or your sister's come
So gather up your jackets, moving to the exits, I hope you have found a friend.
Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, yeah


I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...


Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from...


I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...


shoot me.

*~Serena~*
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Saturday, July 30, 2005

I haven't felt the way I feel today in so long it's hard to specify...
I am so happy that it is beginning to scare me.I didn't think feeling this good was legal, or possible for that matter. A single slip of paper can really change a girl's life..and one has changed mine.
Band camp was an amazing experience. I loved it, and it had nothing to do with the marching, the music, the lunch clean ups or anything like that. It was a promise for the future, everyday after school, I get to see what changed my life.
I haven't blushed as much as I did this past week in my whole life. But then again, I've never met a guy who just makes my heart melt just by looking at him.
I can't say much about him, even though you all know what he looks like. I guess the best way to describe him would be like this:

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything he does is beautiful
Everything he does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive



*~Serena~*

(plus, I got a hug in the rain =^-^=)
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Thursday, July 28, 2005

ever felt like your heart was on fire, your eyes were flowing green with envy, your cuts were dripping black blood from the betrayal and your fingernails were sore from digging into your skin and picking the scabs?
that's kinda how I feel, and I want it all to stop.
If I could rip out my own heart I surely would, and enjoy every moment of luscious pain. But I might get blood on the carpet..and my dog wouldn't be happy about that.
but that's what's up with me..my heart aches..
what about everyone else?

*~Serenity~*

can my heart break once it's stopped beating?
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I HATE MYSELF, ACK!!!

I am the worst person when it comes to talking to hot guys...band camp has been fun, even though the music is super hard.. But when I first got there Monday, we were standing at attention and I happened to glance over and I saw this SUPEr hot guy! So I was like WOW! So I asked a couple people about him, but of course all my friend are freshmans like me so, we didn't know anything about him..so I waited until we were called off the field by grade and found out he was a Sophmore! Only a grade ahead of me =^-^= So my friend were making fun of me by now and we all went to the wall and found his name is Ian Bruce..*giggles* Alright, time for a full body description: Long brown curly hair with blonde highlights, down to his shoulders,beautiful crystaline blue-brown eyes, beard/mustach combo. nice shoulders, slender but muscular and really nice legs, skinny wrists and ankles. So, first day I just longingly stared at him from afar, catching his eye every now and then.My Junior friend Anthony foudn out about it and said he would talk to him about me ^///^ So I got there this morning and tackled Anthony in a hug..he smiled and we stood there together for awhile and he asked if I was still obsessing over Ian and I was like 'yeah ^////^' and he said 'You know what, he's gonna end up liking you and you're not gonna know what to do.' Well my friend Trevor found out about him..so he said he was gonna tell him I liked him! But, HE TOLD THE WRONG GUY!!! Now I have this freaky other freshman constantly talking to me because he thinks I like him >< I ended up sitting three seast from Ian today, so I said 'Okay, I"M GOING TO TALK TO HIM TODAY!' and this junior named Nathen heard and said he would help me out. So after lunch we're all heading to sectionals and Ian is RIGHT in front of me, and I'm too shy to talk to him.Nathen runs up to him and says 'Ian, there is this really weird freshman who wants to talk to you! She's walking like right behind you' My stomach flopped and my face flushed..and who other than my wonderful friends come up and start forcing me towards Ian! So he turns around and gave me that weird 'what-the-Hell-do-you-want' smile and I got so nervous I started rambling and now he thinks I'm a total whackjob!! I just want to shoot myself AND my friends.. hopefully things will go better for me..I plan to say hi to him tomorrow morning when I'm waiting outside with Anthony ^///^ (f.y.i-he plays trumpet and so does Anthony and Trevor)

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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Is it me? Is it you? Nothing that, I can do...

Yesterday I had to be social with these people that my dad works, and they were all assholes.All I did was sit in the corner and play with my wristbands.The only person who said anything to me was some guy asking me how old I was, stuff like that.He was weird. Tomorrow I start band camp..yay -___- 8 hours standing on a stupid football field holding my flute and listening to our director yell into his stupid megaphone. But on Monday I go and get my right ear pierced like my left (6 in all, woot!) and get my pair of Black and Coral Vans that I've had my eyes on for forever.I have to start getting used to wearing my stupid glasses again and finish up my summer reading.So much to do, I hate stress. Well, I don't have much more to say.I hope everyone has a good day, I will be around da sites today. I just thought that I'd let you know That although you’re far We’re close to you within And all the time spent by your side Is taken deep in me Held for me to keep To look upon when I'm feeling like Everything and one Is hurting me for something or other It takes me to a better place Nowhere I'd rather go Thought I'd let you know Who you are What you do Makes me burn to be with you Who you are And what you do I'm burning to be with you I just thought that I'd let you know Being near you is A gift I only wish I could treasure But for now I'll sit and wait I'm still burning though Thought I'd let you know Who you are What you do Makes me burn to be with you Who you are What you do I'm burning to be with you Thought I'd let you know Feels like I'm falling I'm all on my own Thought I'd let you know It feels like I'm falling I'm all on my own Thought I'd let you know Who you are And what you do Makes me burn to be with you Who you are And what you do I'm burning to be with you

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Saturday, July 23, 2005

This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun...

So, I added some stuff to my site, did a little rearranging.It's pretty cool, I think so anyways. Today I went out and reffed on base, and whilest I was doing so, the filed behind me became overiflled with about 30 hot, shirtless marines..I think my heart skipped a a couple beats. @____@ Well, things are..awkward, I can't really talk about it.So, lyrics, from Lifehouse! How long have I been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form Water's getting harder to tread With these waves crashing over my head If I could just see you Everything would be all right If I could see you This darkness would turn to light And I will walk on water And you will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes And everything will be all right And everything will be all right I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown So why am I ten feet under and upside down Barely surviving has become my purpose Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface If I could just see you Everything would be all right If I could see you This darkness would turn to light And I will walk on water And you will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes And everything will be all right And everything will be all right

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

I ripped out her throat and called you on the telephone just in time to hear you cry...

One day I woke up I woke up knowing Today is the day I will die Cashdogg was barking Went to the park and enjoyed it one last time I called my mother, told her I loved her And I begged her not to cry I wrote a letter I said I'd miss her And I signed that Goodbye You know the happiest day of my life I swear the happiest day of my life Is the day that I die Can you feel the cold tonight (the day that I die) It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I die) Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I die) All alone but I feel fine We took a drive and we drove through D.C. To see the places we lived, long conversations We talked of old friends and all the things that we did Summer nights Drunken fights Mistakes we made Did we live it right You know the happiest day of my life I know the happiest day of my life I swear the happiest day of my life Is the day that I die Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I die) It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I die) Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I die) All alone but I feel fine Did I live it right, I hope I lived it right, Did I live it right? (the day that I die)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Something's gotta go wrong cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good...

Yesterday I went and helped out at this soccer clinic for little ppls with one of my old coaches.he put me in as a goalie and I've only played goalie once and I ended up having my nose broken twice, once by a soccer ball and the other by an air borne shoe (funny story really) It was actually pretty fun and I wasn't half bad.But now, I am so stiff and sore it isn't even funny.I could barely get my own shirt off this morning, ugh -___-
But, in other news, I made a new friend! His button is the lastest one up there in my new collection and I would really aprreciate it if you all go check out his site and sign his gb and stuff. thank you ^^
Next week after band camp I'm going to go get my right ear pierced twice up in the top cart. like my left one.6 piercings in all, woot!
well, I'll try to get to everyone's sites today

Everytime I turn around I fall in love and find my heart face down



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