Thursday, June 23, 2005

   There's no point in trying, you can't escape the bitter end.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Lissa-Ann
Birthday:	02/24/91
Birthplace:	Fort Worth,Texas
Current Location:	my room. duh!
Eye Color:	aquamarine
Hair Color:	red with blonda streaks
Height:	*sighs*5' 3"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	lotz a stuff!
The Shoes You Wore Today:	black and coral Vans
Your Weakness:	..you expect me to tell you?..ha!
Your Fears:	drowning, being alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	I dun care really, I don't eat that much!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	survive band camp -.-
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:	See, I have to go to sleep in order to have first thoughts waking up...>^___^<
Your Best Physical Feature:	my eyes!
Your Bedtime:	ha...funny
Your Most Missed Memory:	staying up until 3 in the morning with this one person..it doesn't happen anymore
Pepsi or Coke:	pepsi!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	dun care
Single or Group Dates:	either are nice
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	neither
Cappuccino or Coffee:	neither
Do you Smoke:	nope
Do you Swear:	yep ^_^
Do you Sing:	when I'm alone << >>
Do you Shower Daily:	yes!
Have you Been in Love:	yes!!!!!
Do you want to go to College:	sure
Do you want to get Married:	sure
Do you belive in yourself:	I guess so...
Do you get Motion Sickness:	nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	I dunno..o__O
Are you a Health Freak:	nope
Do you get along with your Parents:	kinda, not really
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes!
Do you play an Instrument:	yep
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yep
In the past month have you Smoked:	nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	yes, but it was only prescription crap
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	...no...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yep
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	ew, chocolate >_<
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	nope
In the past month have you been on Stage:	yep
In the past month have you been Dumped:	nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	...why do you wanna know?...lol
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	does stealing away someone's breath away count?
Ever been Drunk:	once
Ever been called a Tease:	yeah, but it was sarcasm
Ever been Beaten up:	ha,you fucking kidding me? no!
Ever Shoplifted:	nope
How do you want to Die:	in my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	dunno..
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	I don't care, but I like blue and grey
Favourite Hair Color:	Once again, I don't care
Short or Long Hair:	prefer long
Height:	taller than me ^_^
Weight:	weighing more than me, but like, not super fat...
Best Clothing Style:	who cares?
Number of Drugs I have taken:	too many to count?..lol
Number of CDs I own:	35+
Number of Piercings:	two, my ears
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	too many to count!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

::Silver Bullet::
Tonight, we fly away so high.
Our first full moon sky.

I'll breathe you in,
I won't let you down,
I won't hold you back,
I won't make a sound.

I know what scares you the most,
Being Alone or Just like them,
Being Alive, Feeling so... DEAD.

At least you'll have my... HEART.
You know you shine so bright.

I’ve got a single Silver Bullet
I Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
without you.

Can you sleep at night,
If I hold you tight.
I won't let you go,
This feels so right.

Please don't leave this... TIME.

At least you'll have my... HEART.
You know you shine so bright.

Tonight, we’ll fly away so high,
Tonight, We’ll fly away.
You know the moon is full and,
I can't live without you.

Tonight we'll fly away
(Got a single silver bullet, shot right through my heart)
Tonight we'll fly, tonight...

I’ve got a single Silver Bullet,
I Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you....

This camp is a riot, I love it! XD
Yesterday at camp, I wore pigtails.Well, my favorite boy, T.C(17) kept going around pulling on them everytime he walked by.So I had Steve(18) and Scott(19) help me tape him to a tree.You see, T.C has long black hair.So I put it in pigtails while he was taped there and gave everyone the chance to pull his pigtails.It was so funny! Then we all threw T.C in the lake XD
Then at lunch, Brad(15) was sitting there and he just reached over and ran his hand down my leg.I was like 'What the Hell Brad?! o__o' and he wa like 'Dude, you have smooth legs.' I was like 'Um..thanks? o__O' and then Chandler(16) said 'Dude, we should shave your legs Brad!' and everyone was agreed in a heartbeat..except Brad. Today we plan to shave his legs ^_^
Also, we went paintballing yesterday.OMG, T.C shot me in right in the chest(he swears he didn't do it purposly) and I was like 'HOLY FUCK T.C WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!' And all the other guys were like 'Dude, T.C you hit the lady right in the fucking chest!' so they all ganged up on T.c and I ended up shooting him in the ass a couple times.Aw,man,I love my guys.But now I have this bruise in a very uncomfortable place.It hurts like Hell o__O
Also, they all agreed that since I'm going to be their main counselor, I should dress like a guy.So I have T.C's shirt, Chandler's pants and..Steve offered me his boxers, lol, but I told him I had my own.These clothes smell sooooooooooooooooooo good >^___^<
Well, I gotta go, see what happens today at the pool.Pool days are always fun,lol.


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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

   'My life meant nothing to me.Then a guy like you came along. Unhappy days are over 'cause I can always be with you.Say you love me,Say I will always be yours.And promise never to break my heart.I would never expect that of you, for I am always yours.'

Alright everybody.I have a request of all of you.Please go and wish my ABG a happy 16th birthday!Thanks in advance, I know it will mean something to him.


As you all know, I love glittery things.So, look at this cool little thing I found.I'm not quite sure what to call it, but, I thought it was cool!So,here it is,gaze at the beauty and shininess of it all!It's the same color as my eyes ^_^

I have a song, as well...

::Slipping Away::

You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away
You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away

I won't let you down
The words you said to me
It's echoing the sound
Of what would never be

I'm standing here alone
The memories remain
The same familiar home
But nothing looks the same
And I'm standing here alone
Can't tell if I'm awake
Reality is gone
In a dream I can't escape

You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away
You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away

I'm getting through it now
I guess it's plain to see
That everything I am
Is not everything you need

And I'm standing here alone
Can't tell if I'm awake
Reality is gone
In a dream I can't escape

You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away
You said hold on
But I feel like I'm slipping away

And I'm standing here alone
Can't tell if I'm awake
And it feels like I’m slipping away

Reality is gone
In a dream I can't escape
And it feels like i'm slipping away

Look, more sparkly things!



Anyways, I have been getting a lot of questions where I am during the day.I suppose, I shall finally reveal where I hide all day from 7:30 'til 3:30.You ready?

AN ALL BOYS CAMP! XD
Okay, NO I am not a member there, I am a mentor, like person.It's a camp for guys 14-19 who have gotten in trouble with the law and stuff and want to do something to stay outta trouble.Why am I there?Well my father works with the police and didn't want me wasting away my summer.So,that's where I've been.It's actually pretty fun, not just because of the guys, but even though I'm younger than some of them, they still haveta listen to me XD Yesterday and tomorrow were/are pool days.So the guys decided be cute and have my judge who was the sexiest guy at camp.They all took off their shirts and everything.It was so funny!I told them I refused to judge so they threw me in the pool. -.- ^___^ There's 10 guys and then there's me and the head dude, named Mr.Joe. He thinks I'm just the sweetet girl in the world.What the Hell is wrong with these people? Obviously they know nothing about me......yet X3
So,yep,that's where I've been.No, I am not interested in any of the boys at camp, I already know a few certain people who will accuse me of that.
But anyways, I have to go work on this stupid unfinished song of mine.
oh,yesh,and btw......................




HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMIENDANTE >^___________^<
alright, I am done now ^_^

ps:ABG=Anonymous Boyfriend Guy, for those who don't know.



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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

   Note to all:Lock your windows @ night. You never know what might climb through it...

Iris::

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

(this song came on right after A.D.I.D.A.S and it made me cringe, the first two lines XD)

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am


LOL, don't worry about the little notation after the second line,the person it's for will understand.
Well, it is 12:13 and I'm just kinda sitting here and ya know what.I feel content and happy ^_^ Lets all thank my ABG(who still isn't very anonymous anymore )
Okay,anyways...
I will be in Conneticut for two weeks,starting next Monday. Please email me, I will have internet access occasionally and will be able to email you back.Thanks!
Like I said yesterday, I won't be able to get to sites until later today, I gotta be somewhere during the day...
I hope everyone is doing alright.
*huggles everyone*
*~~*

ps:Badkitty-don't worry, you're only my 10 millionth stalker! I'm used to it.BUT, I am a stalker myself,so stalking a stalker is a little odd,doncha think? ~_^

She set a rose to blossom in her hair,
The day Faith died-
"Now glad",she said,"and free at last, I go,
And life is wide."
But through the long nights she stared into the dark,
And know she lied.

And,just because I can, and shiny things really catch my eye,this is for my ABG:


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Monday, June 20, 2005

   'You're the closet to Heaven I'll ever be'
::(I Hate) Everything About You::

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think
About you, I know
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

This song reminds me of a lotta people in my life.So,here ya go peoples!

I haven't been around a lot.Sorry about that.
I leave for CT in a week.Yay -.- This week I'll be busy during the day, so I won't be able to update until around 4 or so.Sorry about that as well. My life is just like...grr...annoying, cramed, fucked up!
Anyways...
I miss Mizu-chan T______T Just so ya know.We haven't RPed in forever and it's boring at night.
But anyways, I'm complaining.
ttyl
*~Serena~*

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Friday, June 17, 2005

   Silence in black and white
I'm not gonna be here this weekend, probably not until Sunday.Sorry I didn't get to everyone's sites yesterday, my dad took me out shooting and he was having me help him clean the guns and then it started storming,so we had to unplug the computers.so, yeah...
I watched Darkness last night.It was pretty gay.Mom was fricken terrified.She's such a loser.*sigh*
To answer everyone's comments...:
Badkitty172002-Thanks for your concern.Don't worry, I'm sure I'l be just fine ^_^ And yeah, I've seen that ep. beore too, but still.HOTNESS, lol.
Secily-Yeah, Robert is the best.I have a few gay friends too.They're always the best kind of friends to have ^_^My parents aren't much into my life anyways.I'm too weird for them ~.^
Wolf Dances-It was the ep. with the battle in the forest of Sorrow.The moth due takes Sango,Miroku,Shippo and Kagome into these cacoons and they have nightmares and stuff.And Inuyasha is on the outside,trying to save them(looking quite sexy btw when he is stressed ~.^)And they end up believeing in Inuyasha and freeing them selves.And Inuyasha begs for Kagome to tell him to sit.That part was funny, at the end.
Well yeah, so I will talk to everyone on Sunday*waves*
bye!
*~Serena~*
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

   'Can I really stay in love forever?'
::Droppin' Plates(Disturbed)::
Here we go again, get up
A little somethin' for your earhole, get up
baring a part of my soul again, get up
Disturbed in the house, were droppin' plates

You said it couldn't be done
Told me that it's the kind of battle
That just couldn't be won, you know
You're too sick, too hard, too fucked in the head
You'll never make it, no, not in this lifetime
Well guess again my friend
Don't act suprised
We got the bass drum kick
That will blow out your eyes
Cause when you hear this shit
You'll get to steppin'
Gonna fight the war
And use my music as a weapon

You know I'm talkin' bout Recognition
You know I'm talkin' bout Vindication

Another goddamn slap in the face
Don't wanna give us a place
Are you afraid?

Well fear this,
Cause I'm breakin' through the walls of your nightmare
Wake up time to die
The way I'm livin' there is no compromising it
Better get ready for
Another suprise and it may leave a mark
Beacause I'm coming fast
Plantin' thoughts in your mind
And droppin' plates on your ass

Well here I come
I'm droppin' plates on your ass

Well here I come
I'm droppin' plates on your ass bitch
You never mind and you don't need this
Well here I come
I'm droppin plates on your ass bitch
You never mind and you don't need

Well on your mark, here we go again
Well never mind cause you're not number one
You're too hard and from the other side
I think it's time to bring it home again
Right to me

Last night's ep. of Inuyasha was awesome.Let me just say, Inuyasha can give Sesshy a run for his money sometimes.If it weren't for that whore Kagome..*eyebrow twitch*
Lol, if you guys don't already know, I'm not much of Kagome fan.I don't like too many anime girls really.I like Sango though, she's kickass.
Anyways, I haven't gotten any better, I'm kinda getting worse.I've started coughing and if it keeps going downhill like this, I'll be stuck in Georgia all this summer.I practically fainted yesterday. but Robert was there.He drove me out to the beach yesterday.It was fun,walking with him.My mom really hates him, but my dad is pretty mutal about him.He's the best friend a girl could have.
Well,I gotta couple pills I have to down, so I'll talk to everyone later.
(I really do love Sesshy more than Inuyasha though...^____^)
*~Serena~*

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   'That's what people do..they jump,and hope to God they can fly..otherwise,we would all just hit the bottom like a rock...'


::Wake Up Call::

Swim through these waters
My lungs collapse as I'm gasping for air
I'll breathe you in (and I'll breathe you in)
You are my oxygen alone

Through arteries untold, your skin is pale, my body's cold
Way down, deep down in my lungs
I can hear our sweet decay

So spill my blood (SO SPILL MY BLOOD)
Midnight skies turn scarlet red
Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall into the night
Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall

Everyone and everything feels like it slips away
Way down deep down in my lungs, I can hear you as you fade

So spill my blood (SO SPILL MY BLOOD)
Midnight skies turn scarlet red
Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall into the night
Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall

Wake me up from this nightmare
Wake me up, I know that i am drowning in the blood
Wake me up from this nightmare
Wake me up, I know I am drowning in the blood from a pitch black heart
Cut my throat
Spill my blood
Cut my throat
Spill my blood
Pitch black heart

Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall into the night
Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand
To catch me if I fall

I've spent the past hour unwrapping Starbursts with my tongue..haven't eaten a single one though.Here,want some?*gives everyone who comments a Starburst*enjoy.
Yesterday I became a senior artist.Yay? I put up a piccy of Sesshy.He will be on today's ep. of Inuyasha with Koga.Two extremely hot men.*sighs dreamily*
Ever felt so dedicated and passionate about something that it meant the world to you and then it suddenly became dull and you felt as though you didn't care if it was over or not?Weird, right? Definatly.
Well,I'm going to go watch Inuyasha.Btw, the piccy at the top,I made that.Yay for me -.-
*~Lis~*
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

   'You have me forever...now let me go'
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...it's telling me all these things...that you would probably hide...am I... your one and only desire..am I the reason you breathe...or am I the reason you cry..I feel... like you don't want me around...I guess I’ll pack all my things..I guess I’ll see you around..It's all... been bottled up until now...as I walk out your door...all I can hear is the sound...I love you...I hate you...I can't live without you...

Someone, please, I'm begging you, shoot me.I can't take this anymore.My eyes are burning my stomach,feels like someone is twisting a thousand knives over and over again,my head feels like it's been smashed with a couple of hammers. And I still don't know what's wrong. This is Hell.My father wants me to get checked out as soon as I can get an appointment.My mom says just to suck it up.My brother...well, fuck him. My friend Robert knows something is wrong.He's really worrie about me.He's been at my window every night to talk to me.He's so sweet.
In other news, enough complaining, I dyed my hair..again.lol.It is, instead of black and blue,like I wanted, burgundy with blonde stips.It is pretty cool, but I feel like a calico cat. *meow*
Well, I really don't have much more to say, so I guess I'll go.I need some more pills anyways.
*~Lis~*
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Monday, June 13, 2005

   Always(Saliva)
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breathe...
or am I the reason you cry...

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that I’m out the door...
and now I’m done with you...

I feel... like you don't want me around...
I guess I’ll pack all my things...
I guess I’ll see you around...
It's all... been bottled up until now...
as I walk out your door...
all I can hear is the sound...

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that I’m out the door...
and now I’m done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...

I left my head around your heart...
Why would you tear my world apart...

Always... always... always... always...

I see... the blood all over your hands...
does it make you feel... more like a man...
was it all... just a part of your plan...
this pistol's shakin' in my hands...
and all I hear is the sound...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that I’m out the door...
and now I’m done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I pick myself off the floor...
and now I’m done with you...
Always...
Always...
Always...

Time seems to be standing still.It is so weird.I can hear the rain, feel the cold air from the A/C vent, see the minutes passing.
But time is standing still.
I've been working on that song Mike asked me to write.It's called 'Everything' and I'm still not quite done with it. But I don't think I can show it to Mike. He wouldn't understand...
But he didn't say I had to share.
I made a greeting and send it in.Hopefully they'll aprove it.
I'm being shipped away from home for two weeks up to Conneticut.That families had a big fight over me.The ppls in Texas wanting me there, the ppls in Conneticut wanting me with them, this family here just stirring problems and keeping me from both of them.So what do they do?
"Elissa, pick where you're heading because either way someone will be pissed off at you."
So, I'm going to CT I guess.My granmother made my mom cry and she started cussing her out over the phone.Dad got mad at her and started yelling,then shut himself in the garage and got drunk..he then pulled me out onto the porch while he smoked in the rain and had me talk to him.I don't know what he, or anyone else for that matter, expect me to do.I don't wanna leave here,then again I don't want to stay.
Life can be so fucked up sometimes.
I was watching Sweet November before I got online.I love that movie, just so everyone knows.It makes me cry everytime.So,if you ever want to get me to cry,play that movie, it's a tear jerker.Pathetic right?Whatever.
I've been sick to my stomach the past four days.Anything I eat, I end up throwing double what I ate.So,I kinda just stopped eating.I know it's not healthy,but I dunno what to do.So, if you're talking to me on IM and I just disappear,I'll be back A.S.A.P
Well, my dog is looking at me like my typing is driving her insane and my kitten is out to kill the mouse,so I'm probably gonna go sit in bed for awhile and listen to the rain.It sounds so beautiful...
*~Lis~*


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Sunday, June 12, 2005

   ...
It takes a strong man to cry.

That's what my father always said

Here are some song lyrics. I don't feel like saying much.

If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
And I patched up your broken wing
And hung around a while
Tried to keep your spirits up
While you were feelin' down
I knew someday that you would fly away
For love's the greatest healer to be found
So leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
Fly on, fly on past the speed of sound
I'd rather see you up
Than see you down
Leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground

visit DamienDante. I ask this all the time.Now I REALLY wish you all would.You'll see why when you get there.thanks in advance.

Do you guys dream in black-and-white or colors?

I dream in black and white.My friend's therapist said something about that being a sign of lack of emotions.Or something.


*~Lis~*
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