myOtaku.com: BlackWolfSerena

myO Still <3's You

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• xKxIxLxLMeSoftly
E-mail
• Click Here
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• Shattered_Dream
Website
• Click Here
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• sqrrlcow

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Birthday
• 1991-02-24
Gender
• Female
Location
• Houston, Texas
Member Since
• 2004-11-29
Occupation
• creative thinker,musician
Real Name
• Elissa (pronounced uh-lis-uh) but you can call me Serena

Personal

Achievements
• discovering the beauty of rain...
Anime Fan Since
• forever
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha,Wolf's Rain,Chobits,DNAngel,Samurai Champloo,Full Metal Alchemist,Paranoia Agent, Elfen Lied, Kare Kano, Death Note
Goals
• Follow the backroads of America with Slipknot blastin' and His eyes on me...
Hobbies
• writing, drawing, listening to music, shooting, playing my guitar
Talents
• playing the flute,drawing, soccer, playing my guitar

myOtaku.com: BlackWolfSerena

Sunday, July 17, 2005

It's not love, you know I'm not in love..
It is 3:13 in the morning...
I cannot sleep...
My eyes burn..
MY head aches...
My stomach is churning...
But I cannot fucking fall asleep...
Maybe it was the three sodas I had..
When I was lying on my bed in the dark...
Listening to some pretty slow music...
And evaluating my life...
Sickened as always with it..
Maybe it is the instant message flashing on my screen...
That I recieved hours ago...
When the night was young...
That makes me wish I could take every knife in the household...
And bleed myself dry...
Maybe I should exit it out of it...
But would he know?...
Know that I erased his screenwritten words...
And never responded...
With no intentions of letting him know..
I ever recieved the message...
His words burn through me like a thousand cigarette butts..
Burning through my flesh...
The smell is sickening...
And my stomach is flopping...
I hate it...
Hate it...
Why couldn't he have just left me alone?...
Like all those times before..
When he disappeared for months...
Without a word...
'I need to know you're alive...why won't you talk to me anymore?'...
Thta's what is flashing...
On my screen...
And I wish I could throw this monitor out the window...
And never pick up the broken glas shards...
Watch it burn down the whole city...
I would like that...
But I won't do it...
Never would I do that...
Just lie for hours..
With tiny water beads running down from my crystaline aquamarine eyes...
(Tears, they call them?)...
Listening to the soft music that always calms me down...
And wait in silence...
For something that will never happen...

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear you’re feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There’ll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working. good.
That’ll keep you going for the show.
Come on it’s time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

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