Sunday, March 28, 2004

Okay, before I go on and take quizes and post the results here, I guess I'll clue you guys in on the dance.... YEah. In short, it didn't happen. We went up and stood outside for maybe 20 min, waiting for peepz to show up so I could introduce him to my friends. Well, the only one that I got to introduce him to was Alana. *sigh* well, I decided we'd leave coz he really didn't want to be there, and I'm an understanding person. Well, on the way back, I go "so are we gonna hang out, or are you going to go to the bar?" Coz, before, he said something about just getting stuff and going back to his house to drink. Well, he wanted to go to the bar. Now, that really pissed me off. I mean... He'd rather go to the bar, then spend time with me,. after not really seeing me all week, other than to drop the money off for the tickets. >.< on top of that... he was talking about this guy, who he really likes, who just happend to go gay recently. Now, that wasn't bad. I straight up said if they messed around, I wanted to watch... but... yeah... It's still upsetting, coz after all, I am his girl. Or well.... that will be past tence next time I see him. Considdering while we were at the school, we were talkin bout stuff and he says "remember hunny, I'm gay" and I go "so then why are you with me then?" and he says "for shxts and giggles" and at that time, I didn't think anything of it, but later that night, I realized that he was more than likely being serrious about it... and that hurts so much...

any who, time for quiz results... lets go have some fun and get my mind off this depressing topic! Word to my nizzles!



Your Energy is Grey. Your thoughts are unclear,
muddled, and confusing. Dark thoughts or
depression may be clouding your true colors.
It may be that you have been hurt and rejected,
or maybe you are just manipulative, dark, and
evil.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


ahhhhhh this result is to die for!!! lookie!!! lookie!!! i mean it damn it!!! lookie!!!!
You and Sesshomaru are a perfect match. You are
both worriors and probably both of you have
troubled lives. You are stubborn and he really
likes that about you. He doesn't really mind
you being human.


You are a fire shadow. The feathery glow of your
source makes you spritely and active. You love
to experience many things and you want to take
in the entire world. You are constantly
flickering, darting from one experience to the
next. You have heat, energy, magic, and
charisma and hold the power of beauty and
destruction. However, the dying of your embers
is a corrupting fear. Learn to accept that you
cannot possess so much raw energy
forever.(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)



Your ideal Middle-Earth parents are Celeborn and
Galadriel! You live in the beautiful woods of
Lothlorien. You are an elf! Your parents are
very wise and will always be fair with you.
They also give very good presents that seem
cheesy until you realize that they are exactly
what you need. Your mother is as beautiful as
the dawn, which means that you will be either
handsome or beautiful yourself and your guy
friends will want to hang out at your flet all
the time to look at Galadriel. Arwen, Elladan
and Elrohir are your niece and nephews, and
Elrond is your brother-in-law.

Your Middle-Earth mama is a psychic, which means
that you can never, ever lie to her. She is
the disciplinarian and will do her best to see
that you become a wise and noble elf.

Your Middle-Earth dad will try to be your best
friend. He is the one to ask when you want
money for concert tickets or permission to go
to a party. Since he will really want to
impress you with his hipness you shall be
forced to listen to him butcher teenage jargon.
Example: What up, homechild! Thou art trippin
in that tunic, yo? Try to keep him from doing
this in public. Even with all that, Celeborn
will spoil you, which you will enjoy, so live
it up!



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Friday, March 26, 2004

Another quiz thing I found due to someone else... Squeeee!

href="http://www.mutedfaith.com/quiz/vq.htm" target="new">What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.

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Hmm... I actually did come to school today, so I am here! Now.... I'm gonna start by sayin Happy birthday Youki! With you in mind, I'm drawing a picture. It's a guy angel with his wings folded around himself, so far. It still needs something though. Maybe an alter ego demon... That just so happens to be female. *hmms softly, thinking*

I have a bad feeling about tonight, for some reason. I really don't know why... But It's like... just feels like something is going to happen. I guess I can just hope that Adam doesn't stand me up. Hrm... he payed for the tickets, so I shouldn't have to worry about that... And dad better not be too much of a jerk. He expects me to bring Adam over after the dance. Wants to talk to him n stuff.... I don't think he realizes it's the same guy that I went out with one night ages ago, that I got lost with somewhere by some ski mill... when there's not even a ski mill close to here... we just drove. Dad forbid me to ever even talk to him again... but yeah. We just wont tell Dad that.
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Thursday, March 25, 2004

What to wear...
okay..... Well... That's a question I haven't asked myself in a long time. I just don't care, really. But, there's a dance tomorrow night, and it's been forever since I've been to a school dance or anything like that. O.o see... the only difference from the last time I went, and this time... besides the fact that back then I was a freshman, is that I'm actually going with someone. Kinda wanna be "cute" but not outdoing myself. I hate looking too feminin, but I don't want to look all butch tomorrow night. Maybe I'll wear my black bell-bottoms and a silver shirt >.< I dunno. His stupid arse is going out a buying a whole new outfit just coz he's meeting new people... Yeah... I guess that's his yaoi side comming out. *shakes her head* I just hope he listens and doesn't buy anything formal. I'll feel like such an ass if he comes to pick me up, all dolled up.

I wish the scanner here would work! I want to put my stuff up here and I can't >.< Maybe one day in the next few months I'll go hang out at dads house and abuse his scanner for a while.... I hate going there though... I get so depressed when I go there, and I'm depressed enough as it is. Yeah. GRRRR and the damn network is lagging soooo bad! It took me long enough just to get logged in and to get here.... Now I can't even view other sites. what the he|| am I going to do for the rest of the period? Hrm.... I dunno. I could just sit here and quack for you all... Or I could do the little teapot dance... or I could sing... I really don't know.

O.o I know! I know! I could sit here and tell you about how strange it is that the words cute and scarry are so close, that it's scary... I mean just look. Kawai=scarry while Kawaii=cute. One letter, one tiny sound difference. This morning a girl and I were talking, and she was sayin bout how she went to kindergarten at an army base in Okinawa, and she could count to ten, and knew a few other words in japanese. So... I was like "Yeah, I can say hello, cute and scarry... that's it" and then I went on about how this one foreign exchange studen said I was cute. Then I went on a verbal expidition on how close the words are. (Yes, you're right. I have no life, but I like it that way) But uhm.... yeah... I guess I'm gonna go. I'm getting tired of this already. I'll go design some more outfits or something. tah!
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004

So is it true
when they say that everything works out in its own time? Well... I dunno, but it seems like it. For starters, everyone loves my stick figure porn. 4 coppies were circulated at lunch and a few in various other places. The comedy in it has died out for me, but I still get a good kick out of how hard everyone else laughs at it. O.o not only that, but the second issue is in demand. Thankfully I didn't ride the bus this morning, or I'd have probably gotten yelled at for not having it done >.<

Wasn't persay my fault that it wasn't done though. Adam came over yesterday around 5ish when he got off of work. We went to his place and talked for a while. Seemingly a long while. Yaknow, bout important stuff, that was playing over and over in my head... Told me what happend with Amanda, his reasonings (which weren't good, but fair enough) and why he messed with me the next night. But yeah... It's all good now, and I feel alot better about everything. Actually, we're now all "official" *giggles a little* For once, I've taken initiative in that department and it worked out ^_^. Happy happy, Blaze Blaz! O.o what a wrong place and time for a modified Ren and Stimpy piece...

so yeah... got stuff to do, so I'll BBL... I think. DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT!
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

back-up
Alrighty then. Now to catch up on what's been going on. To rant about the person I wanted to before, Scott was being such a *dork*. He was one of the main characters, and the night of the last fecking rehersal, he cut and went to a Train concert... Train isn't even all that good... so, WTH? Anyway, due to that, we had to recast the part of Leonato. Funny thing is, the guy that got his part, is like, his arch enemy. Jerry wanted the part from the get go, and he got it ^_^. Thankfully, he knew most of the lines since he was always filling in for the times Scott missed regular rehersals. ANywho though, I'm pretty much over that. Scott still showed up for the play to do tech, since he couldn't be in it, so I guess I have to give him some credit.... He didn't have to lie about being sick when he went to the concert though.

So yeah. Next things next... I dunno if I can talk about this here, so I'll try to keep the dirty subject clean, the best I can. Ya remeber the guy I had talked about before, that I think I might like, that I haven't seen in ages? Well... I descoverd I do like him... alot... And my best friend knew this. He claims to have known too, although I didn't actually tell him exactly how I felt untill friday evening. *sigh* Even though my best friend has a boyfriend, she still... She "messed with him" Thursday night. Didn't tell me when she came over Friday. Uhhhm.. yeah. and guess who messed with him Friday night and Sunday morning. Noone said anything to me about what they did untill Sunday night when me, Amanda, Paul and Adam went out to shoot pool. I rode with Amanda and she told me what happend, and why she didn't tell me. She said she didn't tell me coz she didn't want me to get upset and all that, before the play so I didn't screw up. Nice reason, but look where it's put me... No, I'm not mad at them... Not really. I'm just hurt and I don't know what to do. It's awkward. She and I went out to dinner last night before she had to go to work and talked about stuff. The more we talked, the more it seemed like he set things up to mess with her >.< that angers me so much since before, he was tellin me he couldn't care any less about ... uhh.. physical "interaction" at that point.... *sigh* And that's all it was between them. Friday night, when we were done and were chillin on the couch, I asked him what it felt like to finaly have me after all this time (he's been after me practially since we've known eachother) and he said it was better than he thought it would be, and that he hoped it would become more than just that..... I dunno if that was true or not, after putting 2 n 2 together. It just sucks so bad that when I finaly find a guy in the "local facility" that I'm actually falling for... he turns out to be like that. Every time!!! Bout to give up on men all together. They suck so bad. Yeah... So I'm taking him to a dance this friday. I'll be able to talk to him then, or when he comes over tonight... if he keeps that promise this time.. last time I waited all feckin day for him, and he didn't show.

In better news, I'm on my way to being famous. I'll explain the reason, first. A friend and I got in trouble alot in my 5th period class for talking about naughty stuff. So we passed a note back and fourth. At one point, I would have been writing out a long paragraph, and I write sooooo slow. So... I drew a diagram. Looked like porn since the way they were positioned, and they were stick figures. I looked at it and was like "woah! I'm so going to be famous for stick figure porn!" I drew my first "issue" last night. It's all funny. Deffinately good for a laugh, and not a stroke. (Bad puns are just... bad)

Hmmm. Let me think for a while. Is there anything else I may have forgotten about.... Hrm... I dunno... Those things are the only thing that's really plagued my mind. Ohhh yeah! I'm starting a new story. It's kindof odd though, since I don't know much about what it's developing into. In a way, it's a fan-fic that's based on Death. The only catch is, I've not gotten to read Death, and all the characters are my own. Eventually, I'm going to set it up so they meet with the cast of Death, and possibly go into this war of some sort, that will more than likely turn out to be pointless. Hrm.... So far I've got Chaos, Sorrow, Regret, Joy and Lust. I was just really bored... I drew them first, wrote emo poems next to them and then thought of the idea to turn them into a story... So yeah. O.o I just got a mind block.... Forgot what I was gonna put with that. Any way... yeah... I'm gonna go... Do other crap since I really have nothing to do... I suppose I could evade the server and put that banner up on my photobucket thing... but I don't know if I feel like it. Maybe I should check my email instead... yeah. I'll go do that. Much Luv n Stuff.
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Friday, March 19, 2004

Pannic?
Not even an hour left before we go on.... This is the night next to the big night... This is almost scary... But yet I'm so feckin excited!!!! I can't wait to do this infront of everyone. It's just like.... SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! It's like... w00t!!! yeah... any way... i think I'm getting last hour jitters... Coz I was so pumped, no fear at all.. but I'm starting to feel it. I've always had stage fright... and now I think it's attacking me..... e.e I think I'm going to go look at some other things before hand.... so yall be good.. wish me luck n all that. n If it's too late tonight, We gotta go on tomorrow night too... So yeah. Don't hesitate!
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Okay.... this blows... really bad... O.o time to go already... blah! O.o I guess I'll explain later.

BEfore I go though, tonight's the big night. Our first performance of Much Ado About Nothing. Buh..> Tomorrow night, it's over with.. can't wait. But it's been fun, and good. But... uh yeah... Let me rant like a mo` fo` about last night, when i get another chance to get on... grrrr!!!!
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Thursday, March 18, 2004

okay, so one day....
I don't even know where I was originaly going to go with that now... But yeah. I was introduced to a manga today, called Death. Or something like that. Starring the chick, Death. At first, I was just thrilled that someone else agreed that death is a woman. Then I flipped through some pages and was like "w00t" There's also these other characters. Dream, Desire, dispair o.o I forgot the other chicks name... But she's cool tool! Dream and Desire are uber hot... yeah... Dunno if Desire's gay or what coz I haven't read it, but he's atleast a glam-rocker. And that drives me a little nuts. So yeah..... uhhmmm.. Can't wait to read it. *sighs lightly* I guess I should get back to my picture now.... another robed person.... I've been rather... e.e concielative lately. .. yeah.. buh bye
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Why must I always screw things up?
Some of you may have seen it already... But I screwed up even simply pasting html. But.. with a Mac thats not hard... It's happend to my signature on a MB before, simply by logging in. So yeah.. I'm just gonna type the results in here, then delete them from my previous post.
Name: Jade
Goddess of: The Stars
Animal Companion: The Crow
Weak Against: Food
Weapon: Deasert Eagle

Name: Jade
You will Conquer: The USA (void in TN)
You will Succeed by: Simply walking in and declairing yourself leader after they alldied of radiation poisoning (which was probably unrelated to the place next door which you nuked).
Your Enforcers will be: Blastoise (Pokemon)
Your First Act as Ruler: Buld an invincible fortified palace under the sea.

Your Kiss: Glides gently upon closed eyelids and succumbs to sizzling lips

Goddess type: Goddess of Love
Worshippers: Just one, but he's Bill Gates!
They show devotion by: Not Eating Pork

I am the Japanese word Ashita meaning Tomorrow


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