Saturday, April 2, 2005

Me...
Hmmm… I think I have never told you about my little complications and “problems” in life…
A year and a few months ago my friends dumped me… of some reason I don’t even know… I didn’t have any friends a while then, just wanderin’ around alone, escaping people, especially my “old” friends…. And of natural reasons, I became awfully quiet… But after a while (about a month) my friends, the ones I have now, noticed that I was alone, and felt sorry for me (I hate when peeps feel sorry for me…) they tried to become my friends, and me, not having anyone else accepted their friendship. So I have been friends with them for about a year now…. But I still don’t like them that much…
Recently I have gained a lot of confidence and become more cheer filled and foolish. (heh…^^’) So many more peeps like me now!, I’m not really popular, don’t really want to be either…. But they look at me differently now….
But the bothersome thing is that my old friends seem to want to be friends again…. And… well… I have never asked for that, never wanted that…. I think they have become more “party girls” too, which I’m not at all… but… I remember how much fun I had with them… I liked them way much better than the friends I have now…. And one of the girls whom have added me to their msn list have said that she and “the friend I used to like the most” have talked about why they actually dumped me (that they didn’t really find a reason) I have a feeling that is a lie… but… it could actually be true too, cuz that group where very “ruled” by one girl, so if she decided that I was boring and too different she could easily have gotten the others with her….
Anyway, now that girl I’m talking with have asked if I wanna go to the movies with them next weekend, we whom have been avoiding each other for a year!... O.o’ I said that would be cozy… but… will I feel comfortable in that situation?!... or will I just become insecure and silent again?.... Aaaaargh! I just wished to get new friends when I started at “arts and crafts” next year (yes, I’m gonna study there! ^^ the school stuff is really different here in Norway!...) but this?!...
I have always said that friends are not that important to me, but deeply inside I know it still hurts that I lost them… I actually replay it in my dreams, the pain, those people, just in different environments (geeez, I sound so damn serious…) So… I don’t know what to do at all!... I feel so uncomfortable in this situation… I don’t want this to happen….

I had some fun with the camera in my easter break!... This is how some pics came out...
pic of me... (Click to wiew)
Heh... look depressive, ne?!... I'm not really that depressive, even though I like sutch pics!....
(It's me if ya wonered!... ^^')
me again.... (lookin down this time)


Renji!! ^^(from bleach too!) I think he looks better with his hair down though! (look at the AMV! ^^)

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