Friday, May 11, 2007

Hello again everyone, how are you today? i am fine just waiting for my last class of the day... dont know what i should do after. if i should go to see my nephew or if i should go get shoes or if i should just go home and work on some of my homework before Jarret comes over.. i'll pick one once my last class is over... lol so yeah...

i'm tired of worrying about what adam thinks so i told him on msn that he can just talk to me when he bloodly wants to, since he freaking knows my number and everything but yeah...i've been listening to more of my demons and wizards cd then anything... i dont know why but i dont seem to care about anything else...

everything seems to go by in a blur, I dont understand anything anyone is telling me... i dont see nothing. I dont hear nothing but the voices (yes I hear voices in my head) never understand what they are saying... just wanting to get away... wanting to go someplace where people care abut me... but where is that... im so lost... please someone help me... i dont know what i am doing..

cutting has no point in my life right now... im laughing that i used to do it. but i learned not to do that anymore. i dont know what to say anymore... im so lost so confused. i just want to keep typing. but you will all get bored of reading this and it will make you confused... cause what i am saying no one will understand cause my mind is going craxy thinking so much things all at once...why cant i just shut it off for one day? why cant i just go away and never come back. would anyone care? would he carE? would my mother care? would my Father care? I highly doubt my father would care cause he doesnt care about me. all he cares about is that i make him give money to my mother for child support! hey! its not my fault that you guys broke up. its urs father...you didnt care about mom... you didnt care then.. an you never will.

Adam since you dont seem to care abuot me, im going to stop caring about you... just bloody talk to me when you can.. or i'll just show up at your place if the test shows postive and i'll tell you even if your friends are there that your going to be a father! and then i'll say "either start acting like one or get ready to pay child support" well since u wont even read this there is no point in writing it other then for me to be able to get mad...

what the hell is the point of being married if there is no love?! thats why im not gonna get married but I will have promise rings... and if i have a child with that person. that child will have that persons last name cause it is part of them too... so yeah... this must be a long post... i hope you dont mind i just want to ramble on today about anything and everything... you must get confused... yeah... lol i unno i guess i'll just go now... i might post again later but i highly doubt it since Jarret is gonna come over tonight and might spend the night and yeah lol fun fun...

we might go to the forest and have a fire with Tasha. Kayla. Alex if he can come and yeah... lol marshamllows and so much more.. we might even camp out there if we can.. but i dont think me and jarret will.... well i am gonna go now.... to much tyoping tfianlly hurting my hands...can barely type right...lol

Lost In My Own Little World Of War

sincely,

Blood-Goth-Lover
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