Sunday, November 11, 2007

There's More Than One Kind of Killer
It's funny. Thinking about just how many types of people there are in this world. And how everyone is different in their own little "special" way. Have you ever actually thought about how there are so many different kinds of serial killers?



Probably not. But I have. And I know you're just DYING to hear about them, aren't you? So here are some of the most commonly reprisented ones.

The Family-Man

This is the guy who lives just down the block whom you see out watering his plastic-green lawn everyday, behind his white picket fence. He's got a wife and kids, and a horrible, horrible secret. He's a leader in the community, and a helpful, friendly person. Little does the world know, he's also a homicidal madman.

THe Religious Killer

He's doing God's work. Or so he seems to think. This guy is just downright crazy. He literally believes God (or some other higher power) is telling him to kill. He doesn't actually feel the need to commit murder, but his need to satify God takes over, and he end up going on a murderous rampage. Yay!

The Psychotic Madman

This is the man who you see walking down the street, and immediately think to yourself "that man is a serial killer." There's no hiding it. He's killed before, and you can tell. You'll notice that everyone else around you is avoiding him, too... This category includes people like the Texas Chainsaw Killer.

The Meloncholy Murderer

Murder is just extroverted suicide. This man actually believes he's performing murcy killings. Really. He thinks he's doing people favours by brutally dismembering them. His philosophy is "life sucks; I'm saving you from it."

The Sophisticate

He's tall, he's handsome, he's witty, and he's completely insane. These killers are hard to find, because they know just how to hide themselves in the outside world. The perfect man. They're rich, they're talented, they're intelligent... Ladies love them... A sad case. Killers like this include characters like Patrick Bateman (see the crazy-man with the axe above) in "American Psycho" and Akabane in "GetBackers." Despite the fact that they're homicidal psychopaths, they're simply irrisistable. Why?! The world will never know...

So those are just a few of the many kinds of serial killers we have in this world. Scary, wouldn't you say? Most people think of all serial killers as crazy and out-of-their minds, when in fact, most of them blend in almost perfectly. A disturbing thought, isn't it? For all you know, your neighbor could be a sociopathic monster. Hey, every killer has to live SOMEWHERE...
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