Sunday, November 18, 2007

life sucks
you know what really fucking ticks me off? is when you can come to friends with the happiest news and count on them to be happy for you. but when time comes where you feel like shit and you need to rant, they abandon you. it's those times people find out who their real friends are.

another thing is guys always complain about girls having low self esteems. newsflash we wouldn't have low self esteem if it wasn't for the many men that are only interested in hot girls. you say "personality and self love is what we like" fucking liars stop always looking at the sexy whores and look at the wonderful girls that are in front of you. i want to believe their are men who love girls who love themselves or even love them because they are a great person, but i have yet to see any.

what's wrong is people tell you to be unique and don't worry what others think. that's fucking not true. the only unique people that exist are shunned out and considered worthless. we're only loved when we live the lives other people like us living.

i'm so sick of this shit. its times like these i wanna fucking smack someone across the face and scream at them for lying about everything to me.

i love my friends to fucking death and beyond. but there are times when i question some. my friends post sad news, emo shit, and other depressing stuff and they get zero comments, and no love. what the fuck? i will ALWAYS be here for my friends.

maru
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Saturday, November 17, 2007

great grandma marie
my gramma marie passed away 3:30 am saturday morning. mass is monday night and tuesday is funeral. great grandpa passed away a few years ago, i never knew him and i never knew her that well.
i'm confused, i don't know what i'm feeling. i don't know what i should be feeling. and i don't know if what i'm feeling is how i should feel. i'm more worried about my mom, grandma and aunt. they knew her well.
i'm in a daze, it's too surreal.
everyone talks about god and how she's in heaven with grandpa. it makes me wonder where she really went. i've never been to a funeral before.
mom should know i don't talk to her about this stuff. so when she talks to me i just listen and give her nice words.

i don' think i can cry, is that bad?

maru
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Friday, November 16, 2007

   ^___^
my friend is doing fine. i realized that they're now NOT gonna try and wake her so she can heal faster. they see body movements which is a great sign. i'm so relieved, i left her a guestbook on the hopsital's website on her page. i want to see her so bad T^T
but for now i will just try to send my love. i'm not going to prayer because i'm agnostic, but she's in my thoughts everyday.

Okke, sooooo--OH my mommy is home >___>
she's been staying at my great gramma mari's all day cuz she's dying u__u
i feel bad because i'm not as hurt as everyone else is cuz i don't know her that well. but i'm sad she's in pain.

ZOMG WTF?!?! ANI-CHAN WAS ALL FREAKING OUT ABOUT HER GRADES!! AND SHE GOT ALL A'S AND 1 D!!!! -__- gawd.....that stupid ho. i'm envyiss...nizm....envyizm...o.O i don't know that word right now.

anywayz how are all my friends??? i need to message ya'll more...i've been busy. and in pain for the last 19 day T^T owies.

i'm in love with dir en grey's new pv Dozing Green, does anyone agree kyo looks sexy swaying his hips in the beginning?

xoxo
Maru-chan
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

good news
we found out my friend has a broken jaw too. they're going to reduce her coma so hopefully she'll wake up friday or saturday.
^__^ i'm really relieved.
i want to buy her flowers.
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Monday, November 12, 2007

   omg
a friend of mine got in a car accident right outside her town, another car hit her. they had to airlift her to a hospital in another town. shes got a broken collar bone broken bones and minor brain damage. when they asked if she was gonna live they said they didnt know. a friend told me she was talking for a couple minutes but they didn't understand her and they didn't know if it was just flashbacks or what. now she's on a respirator because shes barely breathing.
i'm so worried, she is a very sweet girl. something like this shouldn't happen to her.
i don't know what to do, i'm confused right now...i want to be by myself, but i don't want to be alone.
TT___TT

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

wow
i'm so tired of being sad
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Saturday, November 10, 2007

   ^^''
the voice mail chat doesn't actually go to my phone...it goes to an internet site. you don't have to use your phone, a mic will do too.

1(641)715-0101
Code: *5498631

anika and i called each other back and forth, fun fun.
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Friday, November 9, 2007

Leave Me A Voice Comment!!!
all my friends leave me a comment ^.^

You can call me any time from any phone, any time using this number:

1(641)715-0101
then they will ask for a code, enter
Code: *5498631

XD
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Thursday, November 8, 2007

HOLYOMGWTF?!
I CANT REMEMBER MY PASSWORD!!! TT___TT
im on it now cuz it saves to my computer...but if my mom were to clean the computer out and disable any cookies then i'd have to sign my password in again T^T

i might make another account if something happens -___-
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Sunday, November 4, 2007

X3 gackt......


"raining candy"
"hey. mr. gackt."
>=] "raining candy..."
"hey mr. gackt are you alright?"
>=]]"raining candy"

gotta love gackt
XDDDDD
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