Sunday, May 7, 2006

My Doll


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Saturday, November 26, 2005

   Hey
Hi, um, sorry for not updating, school is killer and my gut is gettin me even more. I have to go on anoter medice so thats... 2x4+1 1/2+3+3+2=8+8+1 1/2= 9 1/2 pills a day not including the multiviatmine they want me to take and all this other garbage...
god I hate this shit I wish I oculd just die sumtimes...
not that I'll kill myself mid you, it's just an entertaining thought. Miss my brother damn bitch of a mom has him, wish he were here, only one really close to me, cuz no else knows the real me besides him... god I must be depressed well... you all dont need to hear this so I'll just leave... Bye cruel world...(I wish it was truly good bye...)
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Saturday, July 23, 2005

Hi, I've thought of suicide before. I haven't fallen through with it or else I wouldn't be here, I'd be pushin' up daisies. You're right that it's selfish to do that to the ones you love, having my little brother around is the only reason I haven't done it. My life is not that bad compared to other's, in fact it's pretty good.My parents divorced when I was at the age of five, my mother had told the police my father beat us and they took him away, though there was no evidense of that he was set free. In truth he didn't beat us, he may have had a temper and trashed some of the stuff around the house like throwing the phone out the window, but he never laid a hand on us. My father and I are close but because of when my mother retched me away from him both of the relationships with my parents are weak. I can barely stand my mother. After my parents divorced my mother started college so my brother and I were always at daycare and such, never home.Also I was picked on regularly by kids for stupid little things, like my being over weight. Being divorced my father could only see us during the summmer and christmas. Other than that He was at work still supporting us through childsupport because my mother didn't have a job. we lived in a trailer and were left to our own devices most of the day while my mother did homework or went out. When I was nine my father got remarried to a woman I had only known but a few days. Then He had another kid, her name is Darbie, she's two right now. I finally moved in with them about four months after she was born. You see, my mother is now also remarried, and has just recently had twins. My brother still lives with my mother in Idaho While I'm in California with my father. Since the time I was five I guess you could say we were neglected by both of our parents, my brother and I. Now I guess you could say I shy away from them, IT scares how much they're sunddenly paying attention now that I have CD.
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