Friday, July 8, 2005

   I'm Diseased
Yep, I'm dieased, it's true. It hurts like a bitch and it's ruining my life, tearing me apart piece by ever loving piece. It's called Crohn's Disease, it's the inflamation of my digestive track. So basically it hurts to eat stuff, so I try not to eat what makes it hurt, almost everything. I've lost almost 70 pounds and still losing. Before this I wouldn't say that I was fat but I was obese(sp?). I was 212, now I'm 146. It really is ruining my life though, I was to go see my mother and her new twins this summer because I live in a different state then she so Ihaven't had the please of seeing them in real lifeonly in pictures, now I can't I have to stay here because I have to take a steroid called prednisone(sp?) that could cause kidney or liver failure. I'm only 14 years old. I'm scared about all of this and noone around me knows how bad it really feels. The only who could relate is my mother who has Colitis, which is similar to CD. I'm anemic because of all this as well and I have to take Iron tablets. All together I have to take 17 pills a day. Like I said I'm only 14, I thought life was hard enough with my parents divorced and both remarried and having more kids and being a teenager. Apparently Fate likes to throw rocks at us as we walk this road to the end of our time. I still watch anime and read manga just not as much as I used to. it's hard to when you're tired all of the time, Ya Know? If ya do, sorry, If ya don't try not to ever feel like this if ya do you'll know why I've written all of this down. I feel better now, I've vented all of my frustrations by telling you what I cannot say, I'm horrible at speaking but good and writting. My parents don't understand that, all of the past years that they spent fighting and my brother and I stood watch, I forgot how to say how I'm feeling out loud when I need to, and keep it locked inside as to not bother anyone else, like my parents. Funny how I kept it all bottled up then to not bether them now I need to tell them what's wrong and I can't let it out, ironic, ironically painful.
Viper
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Friday, March 18, 2005

   lo
hey everyone, this is Viper sayin' hi, and havin fun in the deepest pits of hell. Really it's a blast, I never would have thought that I would Be able to one up the devil, I mean come on it's him for god's sake. Well I'm bored to heavan here, the flames are a nice touch, though. But there isn't any blood and gore like where I come from, sad really, you'd think that hell would be full of that.
Life here is fine once you understand the rules, everything is fair game, survival of the fitest, just like my Alive life was like, to bad I'm dead now, it would have been fun to show others my real side once in a while than hiding and being "Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes", well glad I don't live that life anymore, it was so boring than being able to torture people like I can here it is so fun to do that to the newbs, let me tell ya.

Well, best wishes from Hell,
Viper
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Sunday, January 30, 2005

Forever is never
They chain her up,
and beat her down,
she says no words,
and does not frown,
she smiles with greif,
and laughs at her pain,
she closes her eyes wishing it would rain,
rain to wash away her scars,
rain to sweep away the dirt,
feeling broken, cold, and hurt.
With no words,
she lies awake,
hoping that this pain is fake,
she wants to sleep,
and sleep forever,
but to her,
forever is never.




I found this at toxic flames, i did not write it, but it describes me just as well though
Viper
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

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