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Friday, July 14, 2006


   Aw
All right. So me and Dylan are a little less testy. I have found I am still quite fond of him. I wish he would only act like the Dylan I fell in love with. The one who cracks jokes at everything, told me his secrets, his dreams. The one who promised not to hurt me. The one who would wrap his arms around me and surprise me with a kiss. He always made me feel like I was needed, like I could help him. But then he changed somehow, and the needed feeling left, replaced with one that didn't want to share, love, or feel.
I guess I change people. They never seem to want to stay like they were when I met them. Like Lexi, she changed. Charles too. Shelby, Shannon, Matt, Anthony. They all changed.
Kristel too. She got so bad she was sent away. She understood me. SHe sent me letters for a while, until I stopped sending back. I don't know why I never sent back. I just didn't...
I often wonder what things would have been like if I never did this, or that. MAybe it would be better....
Maybe it would be worse.

~(Memory, because I haven't in a while)~ It is Christmas time, and me and Dylan are at the parade in town. I see a few people I recognize, and Dylan sticks to me like glue. When I get a little cold, he wraps me in his big squishy coat, and I feel his heart beat next to me. We goof around, sticking a glow stick in funny places. He seems happy to be with me, and I am overcome with love.~ This was before we changed~

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